Pro Social Behaviour is behaviour that benefits another person or animal (showing compassion, sharing, helping, cooperating).Figure 10.1, Page 301
Altruism is unselfish, benevolent behaviour (someone shares, helps, cooperates, with no thought about what is “in it” for him or her.
Competencies:
- Cognitive
- Emotional
- Specific Skills
- Children need to be competent in all 3 areas before they can help, cooperate or be generous.
Figure 10.2, Page 257
Adults can help children to become cooperative, helpful and generous
Figure 10.4, Page 261
Page 260, Figure 10.3 Lists some examples of how young children will show pro social behaviour
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
Introduction:
The phrase pro-social behaviour may be new for many of you, however; you may be familiar with some of the behaviours found in this area of social development. This lecture will help you to understand the building blocks of pro-social behaviour and the fact that children are born with the capacity for concern for others. While this is encouraging it is important to realize that this part of the child's personality does not develop automatically. Adults have to carefully nurture pro-social behaviour in children and this lecture will help us understand how this should happen.
This lecture and chapter in your textbook focuses on several practical strategies adults can use to help children become altruistic. These strategies are based on the information covered in the first chapter of the textbook. That chapter dealt with the general purposes of adult influence and this chapter uses that information for developing altruism. Parents and caregivers tend to express great concern regarding crisis-type problems such aggression. This alarm about aggression is justifiable but realizing that one of the best things that can be done to minimize or prevent aggression is to foster pro-social behaviour.
Learning objectives:
> Understand and explain how children develop concern for others.
> Understand and explain the terms directly related to the concept of pro-social behaviour and of altruism.
Body of the lecture:
Pro-social Behaviour – is behaviour that benefits another person or animal. (sharing, helping, cooperating)
Altruism is unselfish behaviour.
See pg. 253 – Figure 10.1 Pro-social Behaviour
All children are capable of sharing and helping, but a variety of factors influence their actual level of pro-social behaviour. Children will more readily exhibit prosocial behaviour if it has been modeled for them.
People will act in a pro-social manner for a variety of reasons:
· genuine concern
· empathy
· sense of responsibility to relieve the other’s distress
· need for social approval
· external pressure
· relieving one’s own feeling of sadness, anger, or guilt
· desire for social interaction
A child needs three competencies for pro-social development:
1. cognitive
2. emotional
3. specific skills
See pg. 257 Figure 10.2
Cognitive competencies include:
· seeing oneself as separate from others
· perspective taking skills
· seeing oneself as being able to make things happen
· possessing language skills
· possessing memory skills
Emotional competencies:
Children must have emotional capability in order to respond to the needs of other. They need to 'decode' (understand) the emotion. This skill develop in infancy and continue to develop throughout childhood. Another emotional competency children must have is empathy. Not all children will develop high levels of empathy.
Skill development:
Children need to know how to help others and this requires specific skills. Young children have a better chance of developing these skills if they experience a secure attachment with their primary caregivers and they have experienced pro-social behaviour.
See pg. 260 Figure 10.3 This figure shows how very young children illustrate prosocial behaviour.
How should we guide children’s prosocial behaviour?
- illustrate developmentally appropriate strategies
- model, be consistent and practice what you preachhelp children develop emotional scripts through interactions with others, reading and the media
- clearly state expectations for prosocial behaviour
- accept children's efforts to help and cooperate
Give children age appropriate responsibilities. (This would show authoritative caregiving.)
↪ Use positive discipline strategies such as communicating expectations, giving suggestions, encouraging child to take other’s perspective
↪ Labeling pro-social behaviour (i.e. cooperate, team, helpers)
↪ Discussing pro-social behaviour to promote children to focus on and think of specific behaviours that are helpful and valuable (i.e. sharing, cooperation)
↪ Practicing pro-social behaviour (i.e. play cooperative games)
↪ Recognizing and encourage pro-social behaviour through observations (be sincere and encourage children’s actions)
↪ Encouraging group behaviour will promote friendliness and decrease competitive behaviours
Benefits of encouraging prosocial behaviour in children include:
o increased competence
o mutual helping
o shared work
o pleasant, friendly, relaxing atmosphere
For tips on working with parents, see page 269 of your textbook.
In summary:
As a professional you can help children become compassionate, helpful, kind and cooperative. In order to do this you need be a positive model and remember the specific competencies and skills that make it possible for a child to act in a prosocial manner. The strategies we can put into place to help foster pro-social behaviours coincide with the developmentally appropriate practices we have discussed in earlier lectures. Use this information to assist in building relationships with the children in your programs and help them to develop the skills necessary for becoming emotionally intelligent people.
Text Readings:
Chapter 10
Please read Chapter11 for next week.
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Introduction:
The phrase pro-social behaviour may be new for many of you, however; you may be familiar with some of the behaviours found in this area of social development. This lecture will help you to understand the building blocks of pro-social behaviour and the fact that children are born with the capacity for concern for others. While this is encouraging it is important to realize that this part of the child's personality does not develop automatically. Adults have to carefully nurture pro-social behaviour in children and this lecture will help us understand how this should happen.
This lecture and chapter in your textbook focuses on several practical strategies adults can use to help children become altruistic. These strategies are based on the information covered in the first chapter of the textbook. That chapter dealt with the general purposes of adult influence and this chapter uses that information for developing altruism. Parents and caregivers tend to express great concern regarding crisis-type problems such aggression. This alarm about aggression is justifiable but realizing that one of the best things that can be done to minimize or prevent aggression is to foster pro-social behaviour.
Learning objectives:
> Understand and explain how children develop concern for others.
> Understand and explain the terms directly related to the concept of pro-social behaviour and of altruism.
Body of the lecture:
Pro-social Behaviour – is behaviour that benefits another person or animal. (sharing, helping, cooperating)
Altruism is unselfish behaviour.
See pg. 253 – Figure 10.1 Pro-social Behaviour
All children are capable of sharing and helping, but a variety of factors influence their actual level of pro-social behaviour. Children will more readily exhibit prosocial behaviour if it has been modeled for them.
People will act in a pro-social manner for a variety of reasons:
· genuine concern
· empathy
· sense of responsibility to relieve the other’s distress
· need for social approval
· external pressure
· relieving one’s own feeling of sadness, anger, or guilt
· desire for social interaction
A child needs three competencies for pro-social development:
1. cognitive
2. emotional
3. specific skills
See pg. 257 Figure 10.2
Cognitive competencies include:
· seeing oneself as separate from others
· perspective taking skills
· seeing oneself as being able to make things happen
· possessing language skills
· possessing memory skills
Emotional competencies:
Children must have emotional capability in order to respond to the needs of other. They need to 'decode' (understand) the emotion. This skill develop in infancy and continue to develop throughout childhood. Another emotional competency children must have is empathy. Not all children will develop high levels of empathy.
Skill development:
Children need to know how to help others and this requires specific skills. Young children have a better chance of developing these skills if they experience a secure attachment with their primary caregivers and they have experienced pro-social behaviour.
See pg. 260 Figure 10.3 This figure shows how very young children illustrate prosocial behaviour.
How should we guide children’s prosocial behaviour?
- illustrate developmentally appropriate strategies
- model, be consistent and practice what you preachhelp children develop emotional scripts through interactions with others, reading and the media
- clearly state expectations for prosocial behaviour
- accept children's efforts to help and cooperate
Give children age appropriate responsibilities. (This would show authoritative caregiving.)
↪ Use positive discipline strategies such as communicating expectations, giving suggestions, encouraging child to take other’s perspective
↪ Labeling pro-social behaviour (i.e. cooperate, team, helpers)
↪ Discussing pro-social behaviour to promote children to focus on and think of specific behaviours that are helpful and valuable (i.e. sharing, cooperation)
↪ Practicing pro-social behaviour (i.e. play cooperative games)
↪ Recognizing and encourage pro-social behaviour through observations (be sincere and encourage children’s actions)
↪ Encouraging group behaviour will promote friendliness and decrease competitive behaviours
Benefits of encouraging prosocial behaviour in children include:
o increased competence
o mutual helping
o shared work
o pleasant, friendly, relaxing atmosphere
For tips on working with parents, see page 269 of your textbook.
In summary:
As a professional you can help children become compassionate, helpful, kind and cooperative. In order to do this you need be a positive model and remember the specific competencies and skills that make it possible for a child to act in a prosocial manner. The strategies we can put into place to help foster pro-social behaviours coincide with the developmentally appropriate practices we have discussed in earlier lectures. Use this information to assist in building relationships with the children in your programs and help them to develop the skills necessary for becoming emotionally intelligent people.
Text Readings:
Chapter 10
Please read Chapter11 for next week.
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOURS
Use feeling – talk
You can express your personal likes and interests spontaneously rather than stating things in neutral terms. You say “I like this soup” or “I love your blouse” rather than “This soup is good.” You can phrase “I feel” or “I think” when it is appropriate.
Talk about yourself
If you do something worthwhile and interesting, you can let your friends know about it. You don’t monopolize the conversation, but you can mention your accomplishments when it is appropriate.
Make greeting talk
You are outgoing and friendly with people you want to know better. You smile brightly and sound pleased to see them. You say “Well, Hello! How good to see you again.” Rather then softly mumbling “Hello” or nodding silently or looking embarrassed.
Accept compliments
You can accept compliments graciously (“Yes, I like this shirt, too”) rather than disagreeing with them (“Oh, this old thing”). You reward rather than punish your complimenter.
Use appropriate facial talk
Your facial expressions and voice inflections convey the same feelings your words are conveying. You can look people directly in the eye when conversing with them.
Disagree mildly
When you disagree with someone, you do not pretend to agree for the sake of keeping the peace. You can convey your disagreement mildly by looking away, or grimacing, or raising eyebrows, or shaking your head, or changing the topic of conversation.
Ask for clarification
If someone gives you garbled directions, instructions, or explanations, you can ask that person to restate them more clearly. Rather than going away confused and feeling dumb, you can say, “Your directions were not clear to me. Would you please go over them again?”
Ask why?
When you are asked to do something that does not seem reasonable or enjoyable, you can ask, “Why do you want to do that?”
Express active disagreement
When you disagree with someone and feel sure of your ground, you can express your disagreement by saying things like “I have a different view of that matter. My opinion is…” or “I think your opinion leaves out of consideration the following factors…”
Speak up for your rights
You do not let others take advantage of you when you feel put upon; you can say no persistently without feeling guilty. You can demand your rights and ask to be treated with fairness and justice. You can say: “I was next in line,” or “Excuse me, but you will have to leave as I have another appointment now,” or “Please turn down your radio,” or “You’re half an hour late for our appointment.” You can register your complaints firmly without blowing up.
Be persistent
If you have a legitimate complaint, you can continue to restate it despite resistance from the other party until you get satisfaction. You do not allow one or two no’s to cause you to give up.
Avoid justifying every opinion.
In discussion, if someone continually argues and asks you why, why, why, you can stop the questioning by refusing to go along, or by reflecting it back to the other person. You can state simply, “That’s just the way I feel. Those are my values. I don’t have to justify everything I say. If justifying is so important to you, you might try justifying why you’re disagreeing with me so much.”
From:
Conditional Reflex Therapy (New York’s Farrar, Straus, 1949), and “An Experimental Investigation of Assertive Training in A Group Setting.” S.A. Rathaus, Journal of Behaviour Therapy and Experimental Psychology, Vol.3, pg. 81-86, 1972
BEYOND SUPERHEROS: CONSTRUCTIVE POWER PLAY IN THE PRESCHOOL
Presentation by Elizabeth Miller Austin, Ed. D.
NAEYC Annual Conference
THREE DEVELOPMENTAL ISSUES RELATED TO SUPERHERO PLAY
I. Development of Separation and Autonomy:
According to Mahler’s stages of separation-individuation, the preschooler has recently developed a sense of psychological separateness for his/her parents. The child can feel vulnerable as well as elated by this new-found independence and is therefore attracted to characters who are in charge of their own lives, who operate independently and despite their vulnerabilities, successfully meet all challenges. Through the fantasy of superhero play the child can momentarily escape the reality of his/her life and pretend to need no one.
II. Development of Initiative:
In order to function effectively in the world, children need to feel comfortable with their ability to assert themselves. The development of initiative, according to Erikson, emerges out of several years of exercising intrusiveness into the world. The preschool child intrudes with incessant loud talking, endless questions, insatiable curiosity, running, jumping, climbing, and constant pushing of limits. The young child wants to know how fast, how strong, how loud, how assertive he/she can be and still be acceptable. Fantasies of superhuman powers are appealing because they resonate directly to the preschooler’s experimentation with initiative.
III. Development of Impulse Control and Management of Fears:
Young children face the dilemma of having hostile and destructive feelings aimed at the people they love and on whom they depend. At the preschool age, children have few avenues for coping with such strong emotions, so they develop a defense mechanism called projection through which they place their own aggressive feelings outside themselves onto the world. They then begin to see the world around them as filled with aggression and destruction—real and imagined. We see their fear of, and fascination with monsters, wild animals, robbers, dinosaurs, and other aggressive characters and creatures.
Children conquer their fears through their play. In superhero games that result in good prevailing over evil, the children find reassurance that the evil, hostile forces are kept under control. Either by pretending to be the scary monster or the bad guy, and thereby controlling it, or by pretending to be the good guy who overpowers the bad guy and thereby is in control, the child is working on issues of the management of aggressive, destructive impulses, internally and externally, and is dealing with his/her fears.
GUIDELINES FOR MANAGEMENT OF SUPERHERO PLAY
I. Develop a policy for your program that takes into account children’s developmental needs, parents’ concerns about unnecessary aggression, and staff’s needs for manageable activities.
II. Set appropriate limits on time, place, and behaviour for such play. Different groups need different limits; limits may need to change as the group matures.
III. Help children differentiate between fantasy and reality. Hitting is real and is not allowed.
IV. Let children know that you understand how important this play can be to them; “It sure feels good to be so strong and fast.”
V. Avoid rules that inadvertently promote children’s hiding or covering up their play; rather than forbid, redirect and guide the play toward constructive activity; avoid shame and guilt.
VI. Provide supervision and suggestions to avert deterioration of the play; be a resource, ask questions that will stimulate new avenues of play. When children run out of ideas, the play is more likely to get out of control.
VII. Be proactive! Offer alternative power play activities every day!
RESOURCES
Austin, E.M. Beyond Superheros: Reality Power Play, Preschool Perspectives. Nov. 1986, Vol. III, Issue 3.
Forman, G. & Hill, F. Constructive Play: Applying Piaget in the Preschool. Reading, Mass.: Addison-Wesley, 1984.
Fraiberg, S. The Magic Years. N.Y.: Charles Scribner & Sons, 1959.
Kostelnik, M. J. et al. Living with He-Man: Managing Superhero Play. Young Children, May 1996, Vol. 41, No. 4.
Moore, S. & Frost R. The Little Boy Book. N. Y.: Clarkson N. Potter Inc., 1986.
Paley, V. G. Boys and Girls: Superheros in the Doll Corner. Chi.: The University of Chicago Press, 1984.
Schulman, M. & Meckler, E. Bringing Up A Moral Child. Reading, Mass., Addison-Wesley, 1985.
(Prepared by Elizabeth Miller Austin, Ed.D., Early Childhood Educator & Child Psychologist, 123 Combs Rd., Easthampton, Mass., 01027. 413-584-4077)
You can express your personal likes and interests spontaneously rather than stating things in neutral terms. You say “I like this soup” or “I love your blouse” rather than “This soup is good.” You can phrase “I feel” or “I think” when it is appropriate.
Talk about yourself
If you do something worthwhile and interesting, you can let your friends know about it. You don’t monopolize the conversation, but you can mention your accomplishments when it is appropriate.
Make greeting talk
You are outgoing and friendly with people you want to know better. You smile brightly and sound pleased to see them. You say “Well, Hello! How good to see you again.” Rather then softly mumbling “Hello” or nodding silently or looking embarrassed.
Accept compliments
You can accept compliments graciously (“Yes, I like this shirt, too”) rather than disagreeing with them (“Oh, this old thing”). You reward rather than punish your complimenter.
Use appropriate facial talk
Your facial expressions and voice inflections convey the same feelings your words are conveying. You can look people directly in the eye when conversing with them.
Disagree mildly
When you disagree with someone, you do not pretend to agree for the sake of keeping the peace. You can convey your disagreement mildly by looking away, or grimacing, or raising eyebrows, or shaking your head, or changing the topic of conversation.
Ask for clarification
If someone gives you garbled directions, instructions, or explanations, you can ask that person to restate them more clearly. Rather than going away confused and feeling dumb, you can say, “Your directions were not clear to me. Would you please go over them again?”
Ask why?
When you are asked to do something that does not seem reasonable or enjoyable, you can ask, “Why do you want to do that?”
Express active disagreement
When you disagree with someone and feel sure of your ground, you can express your disagreement by saying things like “I have a different view of that matter. My opinion is…” or “I think your opinion leaves out of consideration the following factors…”
Speak up for your rights
You do not let others take advantage of you when you feel put upon; you can say no persistently without feeling guilty. You can demand your rights and ask to be treated with fairness and justice. You can say: “I was next in line,” or “Excuse me, but you will have to leave as I have another appointment now,” or “Please turn down your radio,” or “You’re half an hour late for our appointment.” You can register your complaints firmly without blowing up.
Be persistent
If you have a legitimate complaint, you can continue to restate it despite resistance from the other party until you get satisfaction. You do not allow one or two no’s to cause you to give up.
Avoid justifying every opinion.
In discussion, if someone continually argues and asks you why, why, why, you can stop the questioning by refusing to go along, or by reflecting it back to the other person. You can state simply, “That’s just the way I feel. Those are my values. I don’t have to justify everything I say. If justifying is so important to you, you might try justifying why you’re disagreeing with me so much.”
From:
Conditional Reflex Therapy (New York’s Farrar, Straus, 1949), and “An Experimental Investigation of Assertive Training in A Group Setting.” S.A. Rathaus, Journal of Behaviour Therapy and Experimental Psychology, Vol.3, pg. 81-86, 1972
BEYOND SUPERHEROS: CONSTRUCTIVE POWER PLAY IN THE PRESCHOOL
Presentation by Elizabeth Miller Austin, Ed. D.
NAEYC Annual Conference
THREE DEVELOPMENTAL ISSUES RELATED TO SUPERHERO PLAY
I. Development of Separation and Autonomy:
According to Mahler’s stages of separation-individuation, the preschooler has recently developed a sense of psychological separateness for his/her parents. The child can feel vulnerable as well as elated by this new-found independence and is therefore attracted to characters who are in charge of their own lives, who operate independently and despite their vulnerabilities, successfully meet all challenges. Through the fantasy of superhero play the child can momentarily escape the reality of his/her life and pretend to need no one.
II. Development of Initiative:
In order to function effectively in the world, children need to feel comfortable with their ability to assert themselves. The development of initiative, according to Erikson, emerges out of several years of exercising intrusiveness into the world. The preschool child intrudes with incessant loud talking, endless questions, insatiable curiosity, running, jumping, climbing, and constant pushing of limits. The young child wants to know how fast, how strong, how loud, how assertive he/she can be and still be acceptable. Fantasies of superhuman powers are appealing because they resonate directly to the preschooler’s experimentation with initiative.
III. Development of Impulse Control and Management of Fears:
Young children face the dilemma of having hostile and destructive feelings aimed at the people they love and on whom they depend. At the preschool age, children have few avenues for coping with such strong emotions, so they develop a defense mechanism called projection through which they place their own aggressive feelings outside themselves onto the world. They then begin to see the world around them as filled with aggression and destruction—real and imagined. We see their fear of, and fascination with monsters, wild animals, robbers, dinosaurs, and other aggressive characters and creatures.
Children conquer their fears through their play. In superhero games that result in good prevailing over evil, the children find reassurance that the evil, hostile forces are kept under control. Either by pretending to be the scary monster or the bad guy, and thereby controlling it, or by pretending to be the good guy who overpowers the bad guy and thereby is in control, the child is working on issues of the management of aggressive, destructive impulses, internally and externally, and is dealing with his/her fears.
GUIDELINES FOR MANAGEMENT OF SUPERHERO PLAY
I. Develop a policy for your program that takes into account children’s developmental needs, parents’ concerns about unnecessary aggression, and staff’s needs for manageable activities.
II. Set appropriate limits on time, place, and behaviour for such play. Different groups need different limits; limits may need to change as the group matures.
III. Help children differentiate between fantasy and reality. Hitting is real and is not allowed.
IV. Let children know that you understand how important this play can be to them; “It sure feels good to be so strong and fast.”
V. Avoid rules that inadvertently promote children’s hiding or covering up their play; rather than forbid, redirect and guide the play toward constructive activity; avoid shame and guilt.
VI. Provide supervision and suggestions to avert deterioration of the play; be a resource, ask questions that will stimulate new avenues of play. When children run out of ideas, the play is more likely to get out of control.
VII. Be proactive! Offer alternative power play activities every day!
RESOURCES
Austin, E.M. Beyond Superheros: Reality Power Play, Preschool Perspectives. Nov. 1986, Vol. III, Issue 3.
Forman, G. & Hill, F. Constructive Play: Applying Piaget in the Preschool. Reading, Mass.: Addison-Wesley, 1984.
Fraiberg, S. The Magic Years. N.Y.: Charles Scribner & Sons, 1959.
Kostelnik, M. J. et al. Living with He-Man: Managing Superhero Play. Young Children, May 1996, Vol. 41, No. 4.
Moore, S. & Frost R. The Little Boy Book. N. Y.: Clarkson N. Potter Inc., 1986.
Paley, V. G. Boys and Girls: Superheros in the Doll Corner. Chi.: The University of Chicago Press, 1984.
Schulman, M. & Meckler, E. Bringing Up A Moral Child. Reading, Mass., Addison-Wesley, 1985.
(Prepared by Elizabeth Miller Austin, Ed.D., Early Childhood Educator & Child Psychologist, 123 Combs Rd., Easthampton, Mass., 01027. 413-584-4077)
Chapter 9
Introduction:
This chapter will explore the concept of aggression in young children. Aggression can become quite a concern for early childhood educators even though aggression is, to a degree, a normal trait in young children. Many times children simply do not have the necessary language skills and emotional development to voice their frustration over a situation. Young children tend to react in a physical manner.
A "systems" approach to explain why children become aggressive will be explored in this lecture. However; it is important to learn why children become aggressive and what aggression actually is. This lecture will explore these ideas and help us to effectively deal with future aggression in our classrooms.
Learning objectives:
> Define aggression and explain the different forms of aggression.
> Understand that aggression develops in several different systems and not in a vacuum.
> Describe the risk factors for violent behaviour.
> Describe strategies for helping children cope with aggression.
Body of the lecture:
Aggression is an ineffective problem solving behaviour learned early in life. It is any behaviour that injures or diminishes a person or animal or destroys and/or damages property. It can take several forms such as physical, verbal, psychological, or emotional traits. It can be direct or indirect, impulsive or planned. Aggression is not the same as anger. Anger is an emotion while aggression is a behaviour.
Forms of Aggression
Instrumental Aggression
This type of aggression is aimed at getting something back such as a lost privilege, object or some territory. Usually this type of aggression is seen when a child is not angry with the person who is blocking his/her goal; they just want to remove whatever is blocking their goal. The aggression is therefore an instrument or a tool to get what you want and it is the most common form of aggression found during early childhood. It originates in a child’s inability to take the other child’s perspective and in their frustration of not getting what they want. This type of behaviour should not be ignored. You should acknowledge the child’s frustration and help them find a solution.
Hostile Aggression
This type of aggression is rooted in the emotion of anger and directly aimed at a person, animal or even country. It is violent and clearly intends to hurt someone. This behaviour should not be ignored. A child who exhibits hostile aggression generally has difficulty with social cues. This type of aggression tends to show up in older children and adults. Cognitively adults and older children understand perspective taking whereby young children are too egocentric to understand this concept.
Accidental Aggression
This form of aggression is unintentional and usually done in retaliation.
An activity to learn what accidental aggression is can be found in Figure 9.1 on pg. 230 of your textbook.
Deadly School Violence
This form of aggression is, unfortunately, a growing complex issue that seems to stem from bullying, constant teasing, isolation and rejection. There are warning signs, also known as red flags, to this type of violence that show up in early childhood.
To look for warning signs of a person who may react in such a manner see Figure 9.2 Pg. 231 of your textbook.
Studies show there are gender differences in aggression.
- Boys display more aggression both verbally and physically than girls do.
- Boys display more aggression after watching media violence as opposed to girls viewing the same material.
- Older boys are more likely to counter attack physically than younger boys.
These factors are most likely due to the way we socialize boys and girls. Children tend to adopt “scripts” that tell them how to behave aggressively. A child is embedded in a variety of social systems that work together to shape a child’s aggression such as their family system, media system, peer group, community and culture. Aggression is a learned behaviour. Children will observe and listen to how families deal aggressively with each other and they tend to adopt this as part of the way they deal with issues. (WRITING SCRIPTS) Children will use newly acquired scripts to rehearse aggressive behaviour however, there is no guarantee that the child will use the aggressive script. (SCRIPT REHEARSAL) A child can retrieve and activate a script at any given time. (SCRIPT ACTIVATION)
Three things induce children to retrieve and activate aggressive scripts:
· rehearsal (call-up)
· cues for aggression (interactive videos)
· continued exposure to aggression (even more scripts)
Families teach aggression by using coercion which is a psychological or physical force. We know aggressive discipline strategies only temporarily stop children from fighting and do not have any proven long term effects on extinguishing future behaviour.
The type of caregiving and discipline we enlist will have a profound and immediate reaction on how children behave.
Authoritarian caregivers:
· fail to meet needs of a child
· do not model or teach effective social skills
· provide cues for aggression
Aggressive peers will influence others through:
· modeling
· reinforcing (revenge)
· regulating norms (cheering-on aggression)
Media Violence Statistics – Pg. 239
Children who watch excessive media violence can develop aggressive attitudes, values and behaviour. It can influence them in four ways;
1. imitate what they see
2. reduces any learned inhibitions against violent behaviour
3. desensitizes to violence
4. increases arousal
Strategies for Guiding Aggressive Children
- set and clearly communicate limits prohibiting aggression
- teach children to make decisions about what they watch
- spend time watching television programs with children and discuss any violent scenes
- encourage children to be empathetic
- encourage children to be aware of consequences and develop a value system that promotes respectful treatment of others
- teach positive behaviour (assertiveness, negotiation, cooperation, sharing, helping)
- recognize and encourage cooperative behaviour and language
- encourage responsible anger management
- work with parents and the community at large in violence prevention
Families are embedded in communities that have an effect on family belief and value systems.
Pg. 245 and 246 – Working with Parents box has some helpful suggestions.
In summary:
There is no "quick fix" to aggression, but there are some steps that early childhood educators and others who work with children can take to minimize or prevent aggression. By following the strategies for guiding aggressive children and understanding a child's developmental levels we can help a child appropriately deal with and understand the aggression they experience.
Text Readings:
Chapter 9
Please read Chapter 10 for next week
Websites:
American Medical Association-Lists many violence prevention resources
www.ama-assn.org
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry-info on violence & its prevention
www.aacap.org
National Association for the Education of Young Children
www.naeyc.org
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
This chapter will explore the concept of aggression in young children. Aggression can become quite a concern for early childhood educators even though aggression is, to a degree, a normal trait in young children. Many times children simply do not have the necessary language skills and emotional development to voice their frustration over a situation. Young children tend to react in a physical manner.
A "systems" approach to explain why children become aggressive will be explored in this lecture. However; it is important to learn why children become aggressive and what aggression actually is. This lecture will explore these ideas and help us to effectively deal with future aggression in our classrooms.
Learning objectives:
> Define aggression and explain the different forms of aggression.
> Understand that aggression develops in several different systems and not in a vacuum.
> Describe the risk factors for violent behaviour.
> Describe strategies for helping children cope with aggression.
Body of the lecture:
Aggression is an ineffective problem solving behaviour learned early in life. It is any behaviour that injures or diminishes a person or animal or destroys and/or damages property. It can take several forms such as physical, verbal, psychological, or emotional traits. It can be direct or indirect, impulsive or planned. Aggression is not the same as anger. Anger is an emotion while aggression is a behaviour.
Forms of Aggression
Instrumental Aggression
This type of aggression is aimed at getting something back such as a lost privilege, object or some territory. Usually this type of aggression is seen when a child is not angry with the person who is blocking his/her goal; they just want to remove whatever is blocking their goal. The aggression is therefore an instrument or a tool to get what you want and it is the most common form of aggression found during early childhood. It originates in a child’s inability to take the other child’s perspective and in their frustration of not getting what they want. This type of behaviour should not be ignored. You should acknowledge the child’s frustration and help them find a solution.
Hostile Aggression
This type of aggression is rooted in the emotion of anger and directly aimed at a person, animal or even country. It is violent and clearly intends to hurt someone. This behaviour should not be ignored. A child who exhibits hostile aggression generally has difficulty with social cues. This type of aggression tends to show up in older children and adults. Cognitively adults and older children understand perspective taking whereby young children are too egocentric to understand this concept.
Accidental Aggression
This form of aggression is unintentional and usually done in retaliation.
An activity to learn what accidental aggression is can be found in Figure 9.1 on pg. 230 of your textbook.
Deadly School Violence
This form of aggression is, unfortunately, a growing complex issue that seems to stem from bullying, constant teasing, isolation and rejection. There are warning signs, also known as red flags, to this type of violence that show up in early childhood.
To look for warning signs of a person who may react in such a manner see Figure 9.2 Pg. 231 of your textbook.
Studies show there are gender differences in aggression.
- Boys display more aggression both verbally and physically than girls do.
- Boys display more aggression after watching media violence as opposed to girls viewing the same material.
- Older boys are more likely to counter attack physically than younger boys.
These factors are most likely due to the way we socialize boys and girls. Children tend to adopt “scripts” that tell them how to behave aggressively. A child is embedded in a variety of social systems that work together to shape a child’s aggression such as their family system, media system, peer group, community and culture. Aggression is a learned behaviour. Children will observe and listen to how families deal aggressively with each other and they tend to adopt this as part of the way they deal with issues. (WRITING SCRIPTS) Children will use newly acquired scripts to rehearse aggressive behaviour however, there is no guarantee that the child will use the aggressive script. (SCRIPT REHEARSAL) A child can retrieve and activate a script at any given time. (SCRIPT ACTIVATION)
Three things induce children to retrieve and activate aggressive scripts:
· rehearsal (call-up)
· cues for aggression (interactive videos)
· continued exposure to aggression (even more scripts)
Families teach aggression by using coercion which is a psychological or physical force. We know aggressive discipline strategies only temporarily stop children from fighting and do not have any proven long term effects on extinguishing future behaviour.
The type of caregiving and discipline we enlist will have a profound and immediate reaction on how children behave.
Authoritarian caregivers:
· fail to meet needs of a child
· do not model or teach effective social skills
· provide cues for aggression
Aggressive peers will influence others through:
· modeling
· reinforcing (revenge)
· regulating norms (cheering-on aggression)
Media Violence Statistics – Pg. 239
Children who watch excessive media violence can develop aggressive attitudes, values and behaviour. It can influence them in four ways;
1. imitate what they see
2. reduces any learned inhibitions against violent behaviour
3. desensitizes to violence
4. increases arousal
Strategies for Guiding Aggressive Children
- set and clearly communicate limits prohibiting aggression
- teach children to make decisions about what they watch
- spend time watching television programs with children and discuss any violent scenes
- encourage children to be empathetic
- encourage children to be aware of consequences and develop a value system that promotes respectful treatment of others
- teach positive behaviour (assertiveness, negotiation, cooperation, sharing, helping)
- recognize and encourage cooperative behaviour and language
- encourage responsible anger management
- work with parents and the community at large in violence prevention
Families are embedded in communities that have an effect on family belief and value systems.
Pg. 245 and 246 – Working with Parents box has some helpful suggestions.
In summary:
There is no "quick fix" to aggression, but there are some steps that early childhood educators and others who work with children can take to minimize or prevent aggression. By following the strategies for guiding aggressive children and understanding a child's developmental levels we can help a child appropriately deal with and understand the aggression they experience.
Text Readings:
Chapter 9
Please read Chapter 10 for next week
Websites:
American Medical Association-Lists many violence prevention resources
www.ama-assn.org
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry-info on violence & its prevention
www.aacap.org
National Association for the Education of Young Children
www.naeyc.org
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Components of Anger
Three Components of Anger:
1. The emotional state – a feeling resulting when a person’s goal or need is blocked
2. The expression – an attempt to cope by expressing the anger they feel
*age & gender and if the child has control of the situation will affect the expression of the anger
3. The understanding- ability to interpret & evaluate the emotion
Anger – think about this:
~ Is an emotion or “affective” state
~ Emotional energy-how can this emotion energize us? How is anger different from aggression?
~ A signal…for what?
~ A natural and normal experience even if the anger is unpleasant
~ Do you think that most people believe that anger is natural and normal?
Why children get angry/how they cope with their anger:
Anger “Triggers”
Page 203, Figure 8.1 in text
Guiding Children’s Expressions of Anger:
~ Create a safe emotional climate
~ Model responsible anger management
~ Acknowledge feeling, stay calm, chose how to express anger
~ Help children develop self control
~ Teach children to use words & describe angry feelings (help to expand their feelings vocabulary)
~ Listen actively when children are having an anger conflict
~ Plan discussions about anger
~ Use appropriate books & stories about anger (see pg.217-figure 8.5 Checklist for choosing books on anger)
~ Teach children how to deal with the stress of anger
~ Work with parents
Good Reasons for Teaching Responsible Anger Management:
~ Helps children learn responsible ways to manage their anger
~ Teaches children that anger is a natural and normal experience
~ Is a good example of the primary prevention of child abuse
~ Might prevent some long-term health problems and damaged relationships from
poorly managed anger.
PROBLEM SOLVING
Consider issues of:
a) autocratic decision making
b) compromise
c) voting
Try the following when:
a) there is an impasse
b) a lack of co-operation
c) feeling of unfairness
It is necessary:
a) to establish communication, listening, hearing and talking
b) equality
c) respect
Step 1:
1) Persons discuss problem and make some WE decisions regarding approach.
2) Involve only the individuals who are directly related to the problem.
3) Person who owns the problem should introduce the issue.
- “I think we have a problem…”
- “We need to take a look at…”
- “I’m having trouble…”
- “Maybe we need to…”
Step 2:
1) Define the problem
2) Brainstorm possible solutions
3) Evaluate all solutions
4) Decide on best solution
5) Implementing the decision
6) Evaluate
Advantages to Co-operative Problem Solving
1) Sharing responsibility
2) Learning
3) Eliminates need for power
4) Gets to real problems
5) Chance of finding quality solutions greater
6) People more motivated to carry out decisions
7) Helps to get to real issues
8) Creates a certain level of objectivity
9) Involves more than one person
10) Opens communication
11) Is a teaching/learning experience
12) Identifies Problem Ownership
SKILLS IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION
1) deal with present and future
2) “i” messages
3) do not establish rightness or wrongness
4) solve one issue at a time
5) do it now
6) say what you think and feel
7) change habitual responses
8) allow time to change
9) accept responsibility
10) avoid negating non-verbal messages
11) be accurate, factual and relate from your perceptions
12) listen and hear the beliefs and feelings behind the words
REASONS WHY WE CONFRONT
NEGATIVE:
a) Because we’re angry
b) Because we’re tired and irritable
c) We’ve lost our poise
d) To show authority
e) To make someone conform
f) Because we need to “win”
g) Because we want to “get even”
h) To frighten others into “line”
i) To make others “suffer”
j) Because we are pessimistic
NEGATIVE CONFRONTATION POINTS A FINGER _______"YOU...."
POSITIVE:
a) To avoid being compromised
b) To create change
c) To be active in problem solving
d) To create commonality
e) To insure self-worth
f) To create movement
g) To create a problem solving process
h) Because we are optimistic
POSITIVE CONFRONTATION EMPHASISES _______ " I...."
1. The emotional state – a feeling resulting when a person’s goal or need is blocked
2. The expression – an attempt to cope by expressing the anger they feel
*age & gender and if the child has control of the situation will affect the expression of the anger
3. The understanding- ability to interpret & evaluate the emotion
Anger – think about this:
~ Is an emotion or “affective” state
~ Emotional energy-how can this emotion energize us? How is anger different from aggression?
~ A signal…for what?
~ A natural and normal experience even if the anger is unpleasant
~ Do you think that most people believe that anger is natural and normal?
Why children get angry/how they cope with their anger:
Anger “Triggers”
Page 203, Figure 8.1 in text
Guiding Children’s Expressions of Anger:
~ Create a safe emotional climate
~ Model responsible anger management
~ Acknowledge feeling, stay calm, chose how to express anger
~ Help children develop self control
~ Teach children to use words & describe angry feelings (help to expand their feelings vocabulary)
~ Listen actively when children are having an anger conflict
~ Plan discussions about anger
~ Use appropriate books & stories about anger (see pg.217-figure 8.5 Checklist for choosing books on anger)
~ Teach children how to deal with the stress of anger
~ Work with parents
Good Reasons for Teaching Responsible Anger Management:
~ Helps children learn responsible ways to manage their anger
~ Teaches children that anger is a natural and normal experience
~ Is a good example of the primary prevention of child abuse
~ Might prevent some long-term health problems and damaged relationships from
poorly managed anger.
PROBLEM SOLVING
Consider issues of:
a) autocratic decision making
b) compromise
c) voting
Try the following when:
a) there is an impasse
b) a lack of co-operation
c) feeling of unfairness
It is necessary:
a) to establish communication, listening, hearing and talking
b) equality
c) respect
Step 1:
1) Persons discuss problem and make some WE decisions regarding approach.
2) Involve only the individuals who are directly related to the problem.
3) Person who owns the problem should introduce the issue.
- “I think we have a problem…”
- “We need to take a look at…”
- “I’m having trouble…”
- “Maybe we need to…”
Step 2:
1) Define the problem
2) Brainstorm possible solutions
3) Evaluate all solutions
4) Decide on best solution
5) Implementing the decision
6) Evaluate
Advantages to Co-operative Problem Solving
1) Sharing responsibility
2) Learning
3) Eliminates need for power
4) Gets to real problems
5) Chance of finding quality solutions greater
6) People more motivated to carry out decisions
7) Helps to get to real issues
8) Creates a certain level of objectivity
9) Involves more than one person
10) Opens communication
11) Is a teaching/learning experience
12) Identifies Problem Ownership
SKILLS IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION
1) deal with present and future
2) “i” messages
3) do not establish rightness or wrongness
4) solve one issue at a time
5) do it now
6) say what you think and feel
7) change habitual responses
8) allow time to change
9) accept responsibility
10) avoid negating non-verbal messages
11) be accurate, factual and relate from your perceptions
12) listen and hear the beliefs and feelings behind the words
REASONS WHY WE CONFRONT
NEGATIVE:
a) Because we’re angry
b) Because we’re tired and irritable
c) We’ve lost our poise
d) To show authority
e) To make someone conform
f) Because we need to “win”
g) Because we want to “get even”
h) To frighten others into “line”
i) To make others “suffer”
j) Because we are pessimistic
NEGATIVE CONFRONTATION POINTS A FINGER _______"YOU...."
POSITIVE:
a) To avoid being compromised
b) To create change
c) To be active in problem solving
d) To create commonality
e) To insure self-worth
f) To create movement
g) To create a problem solving process
h) Because we are optimistic
POSITIVE CONFRONTATION EMPHASISES _______ " I...."
Chapter 8
Chapter 8
Introduction:
This chapter will help you understand the nature and development of anger, especially as it occurs during early childhood. We will look at some developmentally appropriate ways to help children manage their anger responsibly. We will learn what emotional intelligence is and how it can have a direct impact on how a child deals with their anger. With that being said we will also explore some ideas that can assist us in giving children the tools they need to understand and manage their anger appropriately.
Learning objectives:
> Explain several facets of the concept of anger: the definition, causes of anger in children, how children cope with anger, display rules for anger.
> List several good reasons for teaching responsible anger management.
> List and describe examples of developmentally appropriate strategies for helping children manage anger responsibly.
> List and explain the 4 major components of emotional intelligence.
Body of the lecture:
Emotional Intelligence refers to how well a person copes with his or her own feelings and whether the person has empathy and gets along with others. Essentially emotional intelligent children who are able to manage their emotions and who tend to feel more connected to others are better able to solve their problems and deal with conflict better than those children who would be classified as not emotionally intelligent.
Building Blocks of Emotional Intelligence:
~ Self awareness - Clear sense of self. Must be able to recognize and think about his/her emotions.
~ Awareness of others - Perspective taking. Understanding that other people have feelings also.
~ Self management - A person's ability to manage his/her own emotions and behaviour responsibly. They need to have the skills to do this.
~ Interaction and relationship management - The ability to relate to others ethically, productively, and humanely and is the core of healthy social development.
Emotional intelligence is learned. It will not develop unless a child has appropriate models of emotional intelligence who take the time to give essential lessons.
Installing hardware for Emotional Intelligence-see figure 8.3 pg. 207.
Anger is a natural and normal emotion. Anger can be described as a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility. If anger is chronic (ongoing) or if it is unresolved can be quite detrimental to your health and relationships with other people.
There are three components of anger:
1. the emotional state of anger (feeling)
2. the expression of anger (behaviour/words)
3. the understanding of anger
SEE Causes of Anger Pg. 203
SEE How Children Express Anger Pg. 204
Factors Affecting How Children Express Anger
Age and Gender
Younger children tend to express anger more readily because they haven’t had an opportunity to learn their cultures rules about expressing anger and because younger children don’t understand their anger; therefore, they are lacking skills for managing how they express anger. Boys tend to vent or use mildly aggressive methods and girls generally use active resistance. This difference may exist due to how we socialize boys and girls.
Degree of control over situation
Children see themselves and other children on an equal footing in terms of power. Therefore, children often express anger toward peers more directly than they do towards adults. With adults, children express anger more indirectly with strategies such as venting.
Understanding Anger
The ability to interpret and evaluate the emotion.
Four major developmental factors contribute to a young child’s inability to understand and control how they express anger:
1. Brain development a focus on the prefrontal cortex which is the part of the brain that governs the regulation of emotions takes years to develop. The amygdala scans each experience to see if the person is in danger.
2. Memory is the basic cognitive process it improves substantially during early childhood
3. Language is when we talk about emotions and learn to label them
4. Self - Awareness and Self - Control are traits a self aware person has. This type of person tends to see himself separate from others and they generally have a degree of influence over how some things turn out.
To guide children’s expressions of anger
× the adult should create a safe emotional climate to acknowledge and express feelings
× convey a message – you have the right to feel angry – I will help you learn to talk and deal with your feelings – I will tell you clearly that you are not allowed to express anger destructively
× model responsible anger management
× acknowledge feeling
× stay calm
× choose how to express anger
× help children develop self-control – infants and toddlers will not have self control, so do not expect it – be empathetic and recognize when children are ready to assume more responsibility gradually
× teach children to use words to describe angry feelings
× help children expand their vocabulary of feelings (i.e. mad, furious, and upset)
× listen actively when children are having an anger conflict – this tells them you are interested in their problem
× plan discussions about anger – be creative and proactive (i.e. books, stories, thinking puppets, scenarios)
× use appropriate books about anger management (Bibliotherapy – refers to using literature to promote mental health) this can serve the following purposes:
· get information about anger from well chosen books
· make connections between what they hear about anger
· more likely to view their own anger as natural
See checklist for choosing books on anger : Figure 8.5 pg. 217
Teach children how to deal with stress of anger – deep breathing is helpful
Work with parents – see tips on pg. 219
Work with other professionals – teachers are educated to teach, but are not trained therapists pg. 218.
In summary:
It is imperative that early childhood educators understand the development of anger so that they can help children learn to deal with this strong emotion. Early childhood educators, parent educators and family life educators can also use this information to help adults understand and learn more responsible ways of managing anger. Anger can be difficult to deal with and it is important that we take the time to try and understand the how’s and why’s of this emotion to aid children in dealing with it.
The literature on child abuse demonstrates that unresolved anger contributes to abuse of young children.
Text Readings:
Chapter 8
Please read chapter 9 for next week.
Websites:
Parenting Toolbox-info for parents (go to “family anger” for sites related to anger management)
www.parentingtoolbox.com
www.psc.uc.edu (go to “self-help information” and then to “anger management”)
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Introduction:
This chapter will help you understand the nature and development of anger, especially as it occurs during early childhood. We will look at some developmentally appropriate ways to help children manage their anger responsibly. We will learn what emotional intelligence is and how it can have a direct impact on how a child deals with their anger. With that being said we will also explore some ideas that can assist us in giving children the tools they need to understand and manage their anger appropriately.
Learning objectives:
> Explain several facets of the concept of anger: the definition, causes of anger in children, how children cope with anger, display rules for anger.
> List several good reasons for teaching responsible anger management.
> List and describe examples of developmentally appropriate strategies for helping children manage anger responsibly.
> List and explain the 4 major components of emotional intelligence.
Body of the lecture:
Emotional Intelligence refers to how well a person copes with his or her own feelings and whether the person has empathy and gets along with others. Essentially emotional intelligent children who are able to manage their emotions and who tend to feel more connected to others are better able to solve their problems and deal with conflict better than those children who would be classified as not emotionally intelligent.
Building Blocks of Emotional Intelligence:
~ Self awareness - Clear sense of self. Must be able to recognize and think about his/her emotions.
~ Awareness of others - Perspective taking. Understanding that other people have feelings also.
~ Self management - A person's ability to manage his/her own emotions and behaviour responsibly. They need to have the skills to do this.
~ Interaction and relationship management - The ability to relate to others ethically, productively, and humanely and is the core of healthy social development.
Emotional intelligence is learned. It will not develop unless a child has appropriate models of emotional intelligence who take the time to give essential lessons.
Installing hardware for Emotional Intelligence-see figure 8.3 pg. 207.
Anger is a natural and normal emotion. Anger can be described as a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility. If anger is chronic (ongoing) or if it is unresolved can be quite detrimental to your health and relationships with other people.
There are three components of anger:
1. the emotional state of anger (feeling)
2. the expression of anger (behaviour/words)
3. the understanding of anger
SEE Causes of Anger Pg. 203
SEE How Children Express Anger Pg. 204
Factors Affecting How Children Express Anger
Age and Gender
Younger children tend to express anger more readily because they haven’t had an opportunity to learn their cultures rules about expressing anger and because younger children don’t understand their anger; therefore, they are lacking skills for managing how they express anger. Boys tend to vent or use mildly aggressive methods and girls generally use active resistance. This difference may exist due to how we socialize boys and girls.
Degree of control over situation
Children see themselves and other children on an equal footing in terms of power. Therefore, children often express anger toward peers more directly than they do towards adults. With adults, children express anger more indirectly with strategies such as venting.
Understanding Anger
The ability to interpret and evaluate the emotion.
Four major developmental factors contribute to a young child’s inability to understand and control how they express anger:
1. Brain development a focus on the prefrontal cortex which is the part of the brain that governs the regulation of emotions takes years to develop. The amygdala scans each experience to see if the person is in danger.
2. Memory is the basic cognitive process it improves substantially during early childhood
3. Language is when we talk about emotions and learn to label them
4. Self - Awareness and Self - Control are traits a self aware person has. This type of person tends to see himself separate from others and they generally have a degree of influence over how some things turn out.
To guide children’s expressions of anger
× the adult should create a safe emotional climate to acknowledge and express feelings
× convey a message – you have the right to feel angry – I will help you learn to talk and deal with your feelings – I will tell you clearly that you are not allowed to express anger destructively
× model responsible anger management
× acknowledge feeling
× stay calm
× choose how to express anger
× help children develop self-control – infants and toddlers will not have self control, so do not expect it – be empathetic and recognize when children are ready to assume more responsibility gradually
× teach children to use words to describe angry feelings
× help children expand their vocabulary of feelings (i.e. mad, furious, and upset)
× listen actively when children are having an anger conflict – this tells them you are interested in their problem
× plan discussions about anger – be creative and proactive (i.e. books, stories, thinking puppets, scenarios)
× use appropriate books about anger management (Bibliotherapy – refers to using literature to promote mental health) this can serve the following purposes:
· get information about anger from well chosen books
· make connections between what they hear about anger
· more likely to view their own anger as natural
See checklist for choosing books on anger : Figure 8.5 pg. 217
Teach children how to deal with stress of anger – deep breathing is helpful
Work with parents – see tips on pg. 219
Work with other professionals – teachers are educated to teach, but are not trained therapists pg. 218.
In summary:
It is imperative that early childhood educators understand the development of anger so that they can help children learn to deal with this strong emotion. Early childhood educators, parent educators and family life educators can also use this information to help adults understand and learn more responsible ways of managing anger. Anger can be difficult to deal with and it is important that we take the time to try and understand the how’s and why’s of this emotion to aid children in dealing with it.
The literature on child abuse demonstrates that unresolved anger contributes to abuse of young children.
Text Readings:
Chapter 8
Please read chapter 9 for next week.
Websites:
Parenting Toolbox-info for parents (go to “family anger” for sites related to anger management)
www.parentingtoolbox.com
www.psc.uc.edu (go to “self-help information” and then to “anger management”)
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Stress Proofing Your Child
These tips, adapted from the Kids Have Stress Too! Program can help prevent and reduce stress in children.
· Ensure that children eat nutritiously, and get plenty of exercise and sleep. Physically fit, healthy and well-rested children are more resilient to the effects of stress.
· Give children lots of hugs, kisses and affection. Children who feel safe and secure are more stress-resistant.
· Watch carefully for signs that your child is having a stress-related problem. McDerment suggests doing a daily unobtrusive “check”: Does your child look sad, tired, worried or tense?
· Help young children articulate how they are feeling, using words they understand. Are they mad, glad or sad? Take time to listen to what they’re saying, without interrupting or finishing their sentences.
· Don’t trivialize or dismiss your child’s feelings, no matter how over-exaggerated they may seem to you. “Problems come with feelings attached, and you have to acknowledge those feelings,” says McDerment.
· Make sure children have some downtime to unwind and recharge. A child who is over scheduled is a tired child-and a stressed one. McDerment suggests that two activities a week are sufficient, geared to the individual needs of the child. She recommends that parents choose one of the activities, and children the other.
· Help children develop good problem-solving skills. Children who are able to work out solutions to their problems themselves gain a sense of control.
· Promote positive self-talk. When a child starts berating himself for something that’s gone wrong, for example, encourage him to say instead, “Hey, I’m not such a loser, I do lots of things right.” Or “Gee, it isn’t all that bad; I’ll do better next time.”
· Teach children the calming effect of taking a few deep breaths, “It’s the easiest, most accessible and most underutilized stress strategy available,” says MCDerment
For more information on the Kids Have Stress Too! Parent education program, contact the Psychology Foundation of Canada at 480 University Ave., Suite 800, Toronto M5G 1V2; 416-595-9966; www.psychologyfoundation.org
Nora Underwood pg 140 homemaker’s October 1999
Ch 7 handout
· Ensure that children eat nutritiously, and get plenty of exercise and sleep. Physically fit, healthy and well-rested children are more resilient to the effects of stress.
· Give children lots of hugs, kisses and affection. Children who feel safe and secure are more stress-resistant.
· Watch carefully for signs that your child is having a stress-related problem. McDerment suggests doing a daily unobtrusive “check”: Does your child look sad, tired, worried or tense?
· Help young children articulate how they are feeling, using words they understand. Are they mad, glad or sad? Take time to listen to what they’re saying, without interrupting or finishing their sentences.
· Don’t trivialize or dismiss your child’s feelings, no matter how over-exaggerated they may seem to you. “Problems come with feelings attached, and you have to acknowledge those feelings,” says McDerment.
· Make sure children have some downtime to unwind and recharge. A child who is over scheduled is a tired child-and a stressed one. McDerment suggests that two activities a week are sufficient, geared to the individual needs of the child. She recommends that parents choose one of the activities, and children the other.
· Help children develop good problem-solving skills. Children who are able to work out solutions to their problems themselves gain a sense of control.
· Promote positive self-talk. When a child starts berating himself for something that’s gone wrong, for example, encourage him to say instead, “Hey, I’m not such a loser, I do lots of things right.” Or “Gee, it isn’t all that bad; I’ll do better next time.”
· Teach children the calming effect of taking a few deep breaths, “It’s the easiest, most accessible and most underutilized stress strategy available,” says MCDerment
For more information on the Kids Have Stress Too! Parent education program, contact the Psychology Foundation of Canada at 480 University Ave., Suite 800, Toronto M5G 1V2; 416-595-9966; www.psychologyfoundation.org
Nora Underwood pg 140 homemaker’s October 1999
Ch 7 handout
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