Components of Anger

Three Components of Anger:
1. The emotional state – a feeling resulting when a person’s goal or need is blocked

2. The expression – an attempt to cope by expressing the anger they feel
*age & gender and if the child has control of the situation will affect the expression of the anger

3. The understanding- ability to interpret & evaluate the emotion

Anger – think about this:
~ Is an emotion or “affective” state
~ Emotional energy-how can this emotion energize us? How is anger different from aggression?
~ A signal…for what?
~ A natural and normal experience even if the anger is unpleasant
~ Do you think that most people believe that anger is natural and normal?

Why children get angry/how they cope with their anger:
Anger “Triggers”
Page 203, Figure 8.1 in text

Guiding Children’s Expressions of Anger:
~ Create a safe emotional climate
~ Model responsible anger management
~ Acknowledge feeling, stay calm, chose how to express anger
~ Help children develop self control
~ Teach children to use words & describe angry feelings (help to expand their feelings vocabulary)
~ Listen actively when children are having an anger conflict
~ Plan discussions about anger
~ Use appropriate books & stories about anger (see pg.217-figure 8.5 Checklist for choosing books on anger)
~ Teach children how to deal with the stress of anger
~ Work with parents

Good Reasons for Teaching Responsible Anger Management:
~ Helps children learn responsible ways to manage their anger
~ Teaches children that anger is a natural and normal experience
~ Is a good example of the primary prevention of child abuse
~ Might prevent some long-term health problems and damaged relationships from
poorly managed anger.



PROBLEM SOLVING

Consider issues of:
a) autocratic decision making
b) compromise
c) voting

Try the following when:
a) there is an impasse
b) a lack of co-operation
c) feeling of unfairness

It is necessary:
a) to establish communication, listening, hearing and talking
b) equality
c) respect

Step 1:
1) Persons discuss problem and make some WE decisions regarding approach.
2) Involve only the individuals who are directly related to the problem.
3) Person who owns the problem should introduce the issue.
- “I think we have a problem…”
- “We need to take a look at…”
- “I’m having trouble…”
- “Maybe we need to…”
Step 2:
1) Define the problem
2) Brainstorm possible solutions
3) Evaluate all solutions
4) Decide on best solution
5) Implementing the decision
6) Evaluate

Advantages to Co-operative Problem Solving

1) Sharing responsibility

2) Learning

3) Eliminates need for power

4) Gets to real problems

5) Chance of finding quality solutions greater

6) People more motivated to carry out decisions

7) Helps to get to real issues

8) Creates a certain level of objectivity

9) Involves more than one person

10) Opens communication

11) Is a teaching/learning experience

12) Identifies Problem Ownership



SKILLS IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION

1) deal with present and future

2) “i” messages

3) do not establish rightness or wrongness

4) solve one issue at a time

5) do it now

6) say what you think and feel

7) change habitual responses

8) allow time to change

9) accept responsibility

10) avoid negating non-verbal messages

11) be accurate, factual and relate from your perceptions

12) listen and hear the beliefs and feelings behind the words


REASONS WHY WE CONFRONT

NEGATIVE:

a) Because we’re angry
b) Because we’re tired and irritable
c) We’ve lost our poise
d) To show authority
e) To make someone conform
f) Because we need to “win”
g) Because we want to “get even”
h) To frighten others into “line”
i) To make others “suffer”
j) Because we are pessimistic

NEGATIVE CONFRONTATION POINTS A FINGER _______"YOU...."

POSITIVE:

a) To avoid being compromised
b) To create change
c) To be active in problem solving
d) To create commonality
e) To insure self-worth
f) To create movement
g) To create a problem solving process
h) Because we are optimistic

POSITIVE CONFRONTATION EMPHASISES _______ " I...."