Pro Social Behaviour is behaviour that benefits another person or animal (showing compassion, sharing, helping, cooperating).Figure 10.1, Page 301
Altruism is unselfish, benevolent behaviour (someone shares, helps, cooperates, with no thought about what is “in it” for him or her.
Competencies:
- Cognitive
- Emotional
- Specific Skills
- Children need to be competent in all 3 areas before they can help, cooperate or be generous.
Figure 10.2, Page 257
Adults can help children to become cooperative, helpful and generous
Figure 10.4, Page 261
Page 260, Figure 10.3 Lists some examples of how young children will show pro social behaviour
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
Introduction:
The phrase pro-social behaviour may be new for many of you, however; you may be familiar with some of the behaviours found in this area of social development. This lecture will help you to understand the building blocks of pro-social behaviour and the fact that children are born with the capacity for concern for others. While this is encouraging it is important to realize that this part of the child's personality does not develop automatically. Adults have to carefully nurture pro-social behaviour in children and this lecture will help us understand how this should happen.
This lecture and chapter in your textbook focuses on several practical strategies adults can use to help children become altruistic. These strategies are based on the information covered in the first chapter of the textbook. That chapter dealt with the general purposes of adult influence and this chapter uses that information for developing altruism. Parents and caregivers tend to express great concern regarding crisis-type problems such aggression. This alarm about aggression is justifiable but realizing that one of the best things that can be done to minimize or prevent aggression is to foster pro-social behaviour.
Learning objectives:
> Understand and explain how children develop concern for others.
> Understand and explain the terms directly related to the concept of pro-social behaviour and of altruism.
Body of the lecture:
Pro-social Behaviour – is behaviour that benefits another person or animal. (sharing, helping, cooperating)
Altruism is unselfish behaviour.
See pg. 253 – Figure 10.1 Pro-social Behaviour
All children are capable of sharing and helping, but a variety of factors influence their actual level of pro-social behaviour. Children will more readily exhibit prosocial behaviour if it has been modeled for them.
People will act in a pro-social manner for a variety of reasons:
· genuine concern
· empathy
· sense of responsibility to relieve the other’s distress
· need for social approval
· external pressure
· relieving one’s own feeling of sadness, anger, or guilt
· desire for social interaction
A child needs three competencies for pro-social development:
1. cognitive
2. emotional
3. specific skills
See pg. 257 Figure 10.2
Cognitive competencies include:
· seeing oneself as separate from others
· perspective taking skills
· seeing oneself as being able to make things happen
· possessing language skills
· possessing memory skills
Emotional competencies:
Children must have emotional capability in order to respond to the needs of other. They need to 'decode' (understand) the emotion. This skill develop in infancy and continue to develop throughout childhood. Another emotional competency children must have is empathy. Not all children will develop high levels of empathy.
Skill development:
Children need to know how to help others and this requires specific skills. Young children have a better chance of developing these skills if they experience a secure attachment with their primary caregivers and they have experienced pro-social behaviour.
See pg. 260 Figure 10.3 This figure shows how very young children illustrate prosocial behaviour.
How should we guide children’s prosocial behaviour?
- illustrate developmentally appropriate strategies
- model, be consistent and practice what you preachhelp children develop emotional scripts through interactions with others, reading and the media
- clearly state expectations for prosocial behaviour
- accept children's efforts to help and cooperate
Give children age appropriate responsibilities. (This would show authoritative caregiving.)
↪ Use positive discipline strategies such as communicating expectations, giving suggestions, encouraging child to take other’s perspective
↪ Labeling pro-social behaviour (i.e. cooperate, team, helpers)
↪ Discussing pro-social behaviour to promote children to focus on and think of specific behaviours that are helpful and valuable (i.e. sharing, cooperation)
↪ Practicing pro-social behaviour (i.e. play cooperative games)
↪ Recognizing and encourage pro-social behaviour through observations (be sincere and encourage children’s actions)
↪ Encouraging group behaviour will promote friendliness and decrease competitive behaviours
Benefits of encouraging prosocial behaviour in children include:
o increased competence
o mutual helping
o shared work
o pleasant, friendly, relaxing atmosphere
For tips on working with parents, see page 269 of your textbook.
In summary:
As a professional you can help children become compassionate, helpful, kind and cooperative. In order to do this you need be a positive model and remember the specific competencies and skills that make it possible for a child to act in a prosocial manner. The strategies we can put into place to help foster pro-social behaviours coincide with the developmentally appropriate practices we have discussed in earlier lectures. Use this information to assist in building relationships with the children in your programs and help them to develop the skills necessary for becoming emotionally intelligent people.
Text Readings:
Chapter 10
Please read Chapter11 for next week.
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Introduction:
The phrase pro-social behaviour may be new for many of you, however; you may be familiar with some of the behaviours found in this area of social development. This lecture will help you to understand the building blocks of pro-social behaviour and the fact that children are born with the capacity for concern for others. While this is encouraging it is important to realize that this part of the child's personality does not develop automatically. Adults have to carefully nurture pro-social behaviour in children and this lecture will help us understand how this should happen.
This lecture and chapter in your textbook focuses on several practical strategies adults can use to help children become altruistic. These strategies are based on the information covered in the first chapter of the textbook. That chapter dealt with the general purposes of adult influence and this chapter uses that information for developing altruism. Parents and caregivers tend to express great concern regarding crisis-type problems such aggression. This alarm about aggression is justifiable but realizing that one of the best things that can be done to minimize or prevent aggression is to foster pro-social behaviour.
Learning objectives:
> Understand and explain how children develop concern for others.
> Understand and explain the terms directly related to the concept of pro-social behaviour and of altruism.
Body of the lecture:
Pro-social Behaviour – is behaviour that benefits another person or animal. (sharing, helping, cooperating)
Altruism is unselfish behaviour.
See pg. 253 – Figure 10.1 Pro-social Behaviour
All children are capable of sharing and helping, but a variety of factors influence their actual level of pro-social behaviour. Children will more readily exhibit prosocial behaviour if it has been modeled for them.
People will act in a pro-social manner for a variety of reasons:
· genuine concern
· empathy
· sense of responsibility to relieve the other’s distress
· need for social approval
· external pressure
· relieving one’s own feeling of sadness, anger, or guilt
· desire for social interaction
A child needs three competencies for pro-social development:
1. cognitive
2. emotional
3. specific skills
See pg. 257 Figure 10.2
Cognitive competencies include:
· seeing oneself as separate from others
· perspective taking skills
· seeing oneself as being able to make things happen
· possessing language skills
· possessing memory skills
Emotional competencies:
Children must have emotional capability in order to respond to the needs of other. They need to 'decode' (understand) the emotion. This skill develop in infancy and continue to develop throughout childhood. Another emotional competency children must have is empathy. Not all children will develop high levels of empathy.
Skill development:
Children need to know how to help others and this requires specific skills. Young children have a better chance of developing these skills if they experience a secure attachment with their primary caregivers and they have experienced pro-social behaviour.
See pg. 260 Figure 10.3 This figure shows how very young children illustrate prosocial behaviour.
How should we guide children’s prosocial behaviour?
- illustrate developmentally appropriate strategies
- model, be consistent and practice what you preachhelp children develop emotional scripts through interactions with others, reading and the media
- clearly state expectations for prosocial behaviour
- accept children's efforts to help and cooperate
Give children age appropriate responsibilities. (This would show authoritative caregiving.)
↪ Use positive discipline strategies such as communicating expectations, giving suggestions, encouraging child to take other’s perspective
↪ Labeling pro-social behaviour (i.e. cooperate, team, helpers)
↪ Discussing pro-social behaviour to promote children to focus on and think of specific behaviours that are helpful and valuable (i.e. sharing, cooperation)
↪ Practicing pro-social behaviour (i.e. play cooperative games)
↪ Recognizing and encourage pro-social behaviour through observations (be sincere and encourage children’s actions)
↪ Encouraging group behaviour will promote friendliness and decrease competitive behaviours
Benefits of encouraging prosocial behaviour in children include:
o increased competence
o mutual helping
o shared work
o pleasant, friendly, relaxing atmosphere
For tips on working with parents, see page 269 of your textbook.
In summary:
As a professional you can help children become compassionate, helpful, kind and cooperative. In order to do this you need be a positive model and remember the specific competencies and skills that make it possible for a child to act in a prosocial manner. The strategies we can put into place to help foster pro-social behaviours coincide with the developmentally appropriate practices we have discussed in earlier lectures. Use this information to assist in building relationships with the children in your programs and help them to develop the skills necessary for becoming emotionally intelligent people.
Text Readings:
Chapter 10
Please read Chapter11 for next week.
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOURS
Use feeling – talk
You can express your personal likes and interests spontaneously rather than stating things in neutral terms. You say “I like this soup” or “I love your blouse” rather than “This soup is good.” You can phrase “I feel” or “I think” when it is appropriate.
Talk about yourself
If you do something worthwhile and interesting, you can let your friends know about it. You don’t monopolize the conversation, but you can mention your accomplishments when it is appropriate.
Make greeting talk
You are outgoing and friendly with people you want to know better. You smile brightly and sound pleased to see them. You say “Well, Hello! How good to see you again.” Rather then softly mumbling “Hello” or nodding silently or looking embarrassed.
Accept compliments
You can accept compliments graciously (“Yes, I like this shirt, too”) rather than disagreeing with them (“Oh, this old thing”). You reward rather than punish your complimenter.
Use appropriate facial talk
Your facial expressions and voice inflections convey the same feelings your words are conveying. You can look people directly in the eye when conversing with them.
Disagree mildly
When you disagree with someone, you do not pretend to agree for the sake of keeping the peace. You can convey your disagreement mildly by looking away, or grimacing, or raising eyebrows, or shaking your head, or changing the topic of conversation.
Ask for clarification
If someone gives you garbled directions, instructions, or explanations, you can ask that person to restate them more clearly. Rather than going away confused and feeling dumb, you can say, “Your directions were not clear to me. Would you please go over them again?”
Ask why?
When you are asked to do something that does not seem reasonable or enjoyable, you can ask, “Why do you want to do that?”
Express active disagreement
When you disagree with someone and feel sure of your ground, you can express your disagreement by saying things like “I have a different view of that matter. My opinion is…” or “I think your opinion leaves out of consideration the following factors…”
Speak up for your rights
You do not let others take advantage of you when you feel put upon; you can say no persistently without feeling guilty. You can demand your rights and ask to be treated with fairness and justice. You can say: “I was next in line,” or “Excuse me, but you will have to leave as I have another appointment now,” or “Please turn down your radio,” or “You’re half an hour late for our appointment.” You can register your complaints firmly without blowing up.
Be persistent
If you have a legitimate complaint, you can continue to restate it despite resistance from the other party until you get satisfaction. You do not allow one or two no’s to cause you to give up.
Avoid justifying every opinion.
In discussion, if someone continually argues and asks you why, why, why, you can stop the questioning by refusing to go along, or by reflecting it back to the other person. You can state simply, “That’s just the way I feel. Those are my values. I don’t have to justify everything I say. If justifying is so important to you, you might try justifying why you’re disagreeing with me so much.”
From:
Conditional Reflex Therapy (New York’s Farrar, Straus, 1949), and “An Experimental Investigation of Assertive Training in A Group Setting.” S.A. Rathaus, Journal of Behaviour Therapy and Experimental Psychology, Vol.3, pg. 81-86, 1972
BEYOND SUPERHEROS: CONSTRUCTIVE POWER PLAY IN THE PRESCHOOL
Presentation by Elizabeth Miller Austin, Ed. D.
NAEYC Annual Conference
THREE DEVELOPMENTAL ISSUES RELATED TO SUPERHERO PLAY
I. Development of Separation and Autonomy:
According to Mahler’s stages of separation-individuation, the preschooler has recently developed a sense of psychological separateness for his/her parents. The child can feel vulnerable as well as elated by this new-found independence and is therefore attracted to characters who are in charge of their own lives, who operate independently and despite their vulnerabilities, successfully meet all challenges. Through the fantasy of superhero play the child can momentarily escape the reality of his/her life and pretend to need no one.
II. Development of Initiative:
In order to function effectively in the world, children need to feel comfortable with their ability to assert themselves. The development of initiative, according to Erikson, emerges out of several years of exercising intrusiveness into the world. The preschool child intrudes with incessant loud talking, endless questions, insatiable curiosity, running, jumping, climbing, and constant pushing of limits. The young child wants to know how fast, how strong, how loud, how assertive he/she can be and still be acceptable. Fantasies of superhuman powers are appealing because they resonate directly to the preschooler’s experimentation with initiative.
III. Development of Impulse Control and Management of Fears:
Young children face the dilemma of having hostile and destructive feelings aimed at the people they love and on whom they depend. At the preschool age, children have few avenues for coping with such strong emotions, so they develop a defense mechanism called projection through which they place their own aggressive feelings outside themselves onto the world. They then begin to see the world around them as filled with aggression and destruction—real and imagined. We see their fear of, and fascination with monsters, wild animals, robbers, dinosaurs, and other aggressive characters and creatures.
Children conquer their fears through their play. In superhero games that result in good prevailing over evil, the children find reassurance that the evil, hostile forces are kept under control. Either by pretending to be the scary monster or the bad guy, and thereby controlling it, or by pretending to be the good guy who overpowers the bad guy and thereby is in control, the child is working on issues of the management of aggressive, destructive impulses, internally and externally, and is dealing with his/her fears.
GUIDELINES FOR MANAGEMENT OF SUPERHERO PLAY
I. Develop a policy for your program that takes into account children’s developmental needs, parents’ concerns about unnecessary aggression, and staff’s needs for manageable activities.
II. Set appropriate limits on time, place, and behaviour for such play. Different groups need different limits; limits may need to change as the group matures.
III. Help children differentiate between fantasy and reality. Hitting is real and is not allowed.
IV. Let children know that you understand how important this play can be to them; “It sure feels good to be so strong and fast.”
V. Avoid rules that inadvertently promote children’s hiding or covering up their play; rather than forbid, redirect and guide the play toward constructive activity; avoid shame and guilt.
VI. Provide supervision and suggestions to avert deterioration of the play; be a resource, ask questions that will stimulate new avenues of play. When children run out of ideas, the play is more likely to get out of control.
VII. Be proactive! Offer alternative power play activities every day!
RESOURCES
Austin, E.M. Beyond Superheros: Reality Power Play, Preschool Perspectives. Nov. 1986, Vol. III, Issue 3.
Forman, G. & Hill, F. Constructive Play: Applying Piaget in the Preschool. Reading, Mass.: Addison-Wesley, 1984.
Fraiberg, S. The Magic Years. N.Y.: Charles Scribner & Sons, 1959.
Kostelnik, M. J. et al. Living with He-Man: Managing Superhero Play. Young Children, May 1996, Vol. 41, No. 4.
Moore, S. & Frost R. The Little Boy Book. N. Y.: Clarkson N. Potter Inc., 1986.
Paley, V. G. Boys and Girls: Superheros in the Doll Corner. Chi.: The University of Chicago Press, 1984.
Schulman, M. & Meckler, E. Bringing Up A Moral Child. Reading, Mass., Addison-Wesley, 1985.
(Prepared by Elizabeth Miller Austin, Ed.D., Early Childhood Educator & Child Psychologist, 123 Combs Rd., Easthampton, Mass., 01027. 413-584-4077)
You can express your personal likes and interests spontaneously rather than stating things in neutral terms. You say “I like this soup” or “I love your blouse” rather than “This soup is good.” You can phrase “I feel” or “I think” when it is appropriate.
Talk about yourself
If you do something worthwhile and interesting, you can let your friends know about it. You don’t monopolize the conversation, but you can mention your accomplishments when it is appropriate.
Make greeting talk
You are outgoing and friendly with people you want to know better. You smile brightly and sound pleased to see them. You say “Well, Hello! How good to see you again.” Rather then softly mumbling “Hello” or nodding silently or looking embarrassed.
Accept compliments
You can accept compliments graciously (“Yes, I like this shirt, too”) rather than disagreeing with them (“Oh, this old thing”). You reward rather than punish your complimenter.
Use appropriate facial talk
Your facial expressions and voice inflections convey the same feelings your words are conveying. You can look people directly in the eye when conversing with them.
Disagree mildly
When you disagree with someone, you do not pretend to agree for the sake of keeping the peace. You can convey your disagreement mildly by looking away, or grimacing, or raising eyebrows, or shaking your head, or changing the topic of conversation.
Ask for clarification
If someone gives you garbled directions, instructions, or explanations, you can ask that person to restate them more clearly. Rather than going away confused and feeling dumb, you can say, “Your directions were not clear to me. Would you please go over them again?”
Ask why?
When you are asked to do something that does not seem reasonable or enjoyable, you can ask, “Why do you want to do that?”
Express active disagreement
When you disagree with someone and feel sure of your ground, you can express your disagreement by saying things like “I have a different view of that matter. My opinion is…” or “I think your opinion leaves out of consideration the following factors…”
Speak up for your rights
You do not let others take advantage of you when you feel put upon; you can say no persistently without feeling guilty. You can demand your rights and ask to be treated with fairness and justice. You can say: “I was next in line,” or “Excuse me, but you will have to leave as I have another appointment now,” or “Please turn down your radio,” or “You’re half an hour late for our appointment.” You can register your complaints firmly without blowing up.
Be persistent
If you have a legitimate complaint, you can continue to restate it despite resistance from the other party until you get satisfaction. You do not allow one or two no’s to cause you to give up.
Avoid justifying every opinion.
In discussion, if someone continually argues and asks you why, why, why, you can stop the questioning by refusing to go along, or by reflecting it back to the other person. You can state simply, “That’s just the way I feel. Those are my values. I don’t have to justify everything I say. If justifying is so important to you, you might try justifying why you’re disagreeing with me so much.”
From:
Conditional Reflex Therapy (New York’s Farrar, Straus, 1949), and “An Experimental Investigation of Assertive Training in A Group Setting.” S.A. Rathaus, Journal of Behaviour Therapy and Experimental Psychology, Vol.3, pg. 81-86, 1972
BEYOND SUPERHEROS: CONSTRUCTIVE POWER PLAY IN THE PRESCHOOL
Presentation by Elizabeth Miller Austin, Ed. D.
NAEYC Annual Conference
THREE DEVELOPMENTAL ISSUES RELATED TO SUPERHERO PLAY
I. Development of Separation and Autonomy:
According to Mahler’s stages of separation-individuation, the preschooler has recently developed a sense of psychological separateness for his/her parents. The child can feel vulnerable as well as elated by this new-found independence and is therefore attracted to characters who are in charge of their own lives, who operate independently and despite their vulnerabilities, successfully meet all challenges. Through the fantasy of superhero play the child can momentarily escape the reality of his/her life and pretend to need no one.
II. Development of Initiative:
In order to function effectively in the world, children need to feel comfortable with their ability to assert themselves. The development of initiative, according to Erikson, emerges out of several years of exercising intrusiveness into the world. The preschool child intrudes with incessant loud talking, endless questions, insatiable curiosity, running, jumping, climbing, and constant pushing of limits. The young child wants to know how fast, how strong, how loud, how assertive he/she can be and still be acceptable. Fantasies of superhuman powers are appealing because they resonate directly to the preschooler’s experimentation with initiative.
III. Development of Impulse Control and Management of Fears:
Young children face the dilemma of having hostile and destructive feelings aimed at the people they love and on whom they depend. At the preschool age, children have few avenues for coping with such strong emotions, so they develop a defense mechanism called projection through which they place their own aggressive feelings outside themselves onto the world. They then begin to see the world around them as filled with aggression and destruction—real and imagined. We see their fear of, and fascination with monsters, wild animals, robbers, dinosaurs, and other aggressive characters and creatures.
Children conquer their fears through their play. In superhero games that result in good prevailing over evil, the children find reassurance that the evil, hostile forces are kept under control. Either by pretending to be the scary monster or the bad guy, and thereby controlling it, or by pretending to be the good guy who overpowers the bad guy and thereby is in control, the child is working on issues of the management of aggressive, destructive impulses, internally and externally, and is dealing with his/her fears.
GUIDELINES FOR MANAGEMENT OF SUPERHERO PLAY
I. Develop a policy for your program that takes into account children’s developmental needs, parents’ concerns about unnecessary aggression, and staff’s needs for manageable activities.
II. Set appropriate limits on time, place, and behaviour for such play. Different groups need different limits; limits may need to change as the group matures.
III. Help children differentiate between fantasy and reality. Hitting is real and is not allowed.
IV. Let children know that you understand how important this play can be to them; “It sure feels good to be so strong and fast.”
V. Avoid rules that inadvertently promote children’s hiding or covering up their play; rather than forbid, redirect and guide the play toward constructive activity; avoid shame and guilt.
VI. Provide supervision and suggestions to avert deterioration of the play; be a resource, ask questions that will stimulate new avenues of play. When children run out of ideas, the play is more likely to get out of control.
VII. Be proactive! Offer alternative power play activities every day!
RESOURCES
Austin, E.M. Beyond Superheros: Reality Power Play, Preschool Perspectives. Nov. 1986, Vol. III, Issue 3.
Forman, G. & Hill, F. Constructive Play: Applying Piaget in the Preschool. Reading, Mass.: Addison-Wesley, 1984.
Fraiberg, S. The Magic Years. N.Y.: Charles Scribner & Sons, 1959.
Kostelnik, M. J. et al. Living with He-Man: Managing Superhero Play. Young Children, May 1996, Vol. 41, No. 4.
Moore, S. & Frost R. The Little Boy Book. N. Y.: Clarkson N. Potter Inc., 1986.
Paley, V. G. Boys and Girls: Superheros in the Doll Corner. Chi.: The University of Chicago Press, 1984.
Schulman, M. & Meckler, E. Bringing Up A Moral Child. Reading, Mass., Addison-Wesley, 1985.
(Prepared by Elizabeth Miller Austin, Ed.D., Early Childhood Educator & Child Psychologist, 123 Combs Rd., Easthampton, Mass., 01027. 413-584-4077)
Chapter 9
Introduction:
This chapter will explore the concept of aggression in young children. Aggression can become quite a concern for early childhood educators even though aggression is, to a degree, a normal trait in young children. Many times children simply do not have the necessary language skills and emotional development to voice their frustration over a situation. Young children tend to react in a physical manner.
A "systems" approach to explain why children become aggressive will be explored in this lecture. However; it is important to learn why children become aggressive and what aggression actually is. This lecture will explore these ideas and help us to effectively deal with future aggression in our classrooms.
Learning objectives:
> Define aggression and explain the different forms of aggression.
> Understand that aggression develops in several different systems and not in a vacuum.
> Describe the risk factors for violent behaviour.
> Describe strategies for helping children cope with aggression.
Body of the lecture:
Aggression is an ineffective problem solving behaviour learned early in life. It is any behaviour that injures or diminishes a person or animal or destroys and/or damages property. It can take several forms such as physical, verbal, psychological, or emotional traits. It can be direct or indirect, impulsive or planned. Aggression is not the same as anger. Anger is an emotion while aggression is a behaviour.
Forms of Aggression
Instrumental Aggression
This type of aggression is aimed at getting something back such as a lost privilege, object or some territory. Usually this type of aggression is seen when a child is not angry with the person who is blocking his/her goal; they just want to remove whatever is blocking their goal. The aggression is therefore an instrument or a tool to get what you want and it is the most common form of aggression found during early childhood. It originates in a child’s inability to take the other child’s perspective and in their frustration of not getting what they want. This type of behaviour should not be ignored. You should acknowledge the child’s frustration and help them find a solution.
Hostile Aggression
This type of aggression is rooted in the emotion of anger and directly aimed at a person, animal or even country. It is violent and clearly intends to hurt someone. This behaviour should not be ignored. A child who exhibits hostile aggression generally has difficulty with social cues. This type of aggression tends to show up in older children and adults. Cognitively adults and older children understand perspective taking whereby young children are too egocentric to understand this concept.
Accidental Aggression
This form of aggression is unintentional and usually done in retaliation.
An activity to learn what accidental aggression is can be found in Figure 9.1 on pg. 230 of your textbook.
Deadly School Violence
This form of aggression is, unfortunately, a growing complex issue that seems to stem from bullying, constant teasing, isolation and rejection. There are warning signs, also known as red flags, to this type of violence that show up in early childhood.
To look for warning signs of a person who may react in such a manner see Figure 9.2 Pg. 231 of your textbook.
Studies show there are gender differences in aggression.
- Boys display more aggression both verbally and physically than girls do.
- Boys display more aggression after watching media violence as opposed to girls viewing the same material.
- Older boys are more likely to counter attack physically than younger boys.
These factors are most likely due to the way we socialize boys and girls. Children tend to adopt “scripts” that tell them how to behave aggressively. A child is embedded in a variety of social systems that work together to shape a child’s aggression such as their family system, media system, peer group, community and culture. Aggression is a learned behaviour. Children will observe and listen to how families deal aggressively with each other and they tend to adopt this as part of the way they deal with issues. (WRITING SCRIPTS) Children will use newly acquired scripts to rehearse aggressive behaviour however, there is no guarantee that the child will use the aggressive script. (SCRIPT REHEARSAL) A child can retrieve and activate a script at any given time. (SCRIPT ACTIVATION)
Three things induce children to retrieve and activate aggressive scripts:
· rehearsal (call-up)
· cues for aggression (interactive videos)
· continued exposure to aggression (even more scripts)
Families teach aggression by using coercion which is a psychological or physical force. We know aggressive discipline strategies only temporarily stop children from fighting and do not have any proven long term effects on extinguishing future behaviour.
The type of caregiving and discipline we enlist will have a profound and immediate reaction on how children behave.
Authoritarian caregivers:
· fail to meet needs of a child
· do not model or teach effective social skills
· provide cues for aggression
Aggressive peers will influence others through:
· modeling
· reinforcing (revenge)
· regulating norms (cheering-on aggression)
Media Violence Statistics – Pg. 239
Children who watch excessive media violence can develop aggressive attitudes, values and behaviour. It can influence them in four ways;
1. imitate what they see
2. reduces any learned inhibitions against violent behaviour
3. desensitizes to violence
4. increases arousal
Strategies for Guiding Aggressive Children
- set and clearly communicate limits prohibiting aggression
- teach children to make decisions about what they watch
- spend time watching television programs with children and discuss any violent scenes
- encourage children to be empathetic
- encourage children to be aware of consequences and develop a value system that promotes respectful treatment of others
- teach positive behaviour (assertiveness, negotiation, cooperation, sharing, helping)
- recognize and encourage cooperative behaviour and language
- encourage responsible anger management
- work with parents and the community at large in violence prevention
Families are embedded in communities that have an effect on family belief and value systems.
Pg. 245 and 246 – Working with Parents box has some helpful suggestions.
In summary:
There is no "quick fix" to aggression, but there are some steps that early childhood educators and others who work with children can take to minimize or prevent aggression. By following the strategies for guiding aggressive children and understanding a child's developmental levels we can help a child appropriately deal with and understand the aggression they experience.
Text Readings:
Chapter 9
Please read Chapter 10 for next week
Websites:
American Medical Association-Lists many violence prevention resources
www.ama-assn.org
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry-info on violence & its prevention
www.aacap.org
National Association for the Education of Young Children
www.naeyc.org
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
This chapter will explore the concept of aggression in young children. Aggression can become quite a concern for early childhood educators even though aggression is, to a degree, a normal trait in young children. Many times children simply do not have the necessary language skills and emotional development to voice their frustration over a situation. Young children tend to react in a physical manner.
A "systems" approach to explain why children become aggressive will be explored in this lecture. However; it is important to learn why children become aggressive and what aggression actually is. This lecture will explore these ideas and help us to effectively deal with future aggression in our classrooms.
Learning objectives:
> Define aggression and explain the different forms of aggression.
> Understand that aggression develops in several different systems and not in a vacuum.
> Describe the risk factors for violent behaviour.
> Describe strategies for helping children cope with aggression.
Body of the lecture:
Aggression is an ineffective problem solving behaviour learned early in life. It is any behaviour that injures or diminishes a person or animal or destroys and/or damages property. It can take several forms such as physical, verbal, psychological, or emotional traits. It can be direct or indirect, impulsive or planned. Aggression is not the same as anger. Anger is an emotion while aggression is a behaviour.
Forms of Aggression
Instrumental Aggression
This type of aggression is aimed at getting something back such as a lost privilege, object or some territory. Usually this type of aggression is seen when a child is not angry with the person who is blocking his/her goal; they just want to remove whatever is blocking their goal. The aggression is therefore an instrument or a tool to get what you want and it is the most common form of aggression found during early childhood. It originates in a child’s inability to take the other child’s perspective and in their frustration of not getting what they want. This type of behaviour should not be ignored. You should acknowledge the child’s frustration and help them find a solution.
Hostile Aggression
This type of aggression is rooted in the emotion of anger and directly aimed at a person, animal or even country. It is violent and clearly intends to hurt someone. This behaviour should not be ignored. A child who exhibits hostile aggression generally has difficulty with social cues. This type of aggression tends to show up in older children and adults. Cognitively adults and older children understand perspective taking whereby young children are too egocentric to understand this concept.
Accidental Aggression
This form of aggression is unintentional and usually done in retaliation.
An activity to learn what accidental aggression is can be found in Figure 9.1 on pg. 230 of your textbook.
Deadly School Violence
This form of aggression is, unfortunately, a growing complex issue that seems to stem from bullying, constant teasing, isolation and rejection. There are warning signs, also known as red flags, to this type of violence that show up in early childhood.
To look for warning signs of a person who may react in such a manner see Figure 9.2 Pg. 231 of your textbook.
Studies show there are gender differences in aggression.
- Boys display more aggression both verbally and physically than girls do.
- Boys display more aggression after watching media violence as opposed to girls viewing the same material.
- Older boys are more likely to counter attack physically than younger boys.
These factors are most likely due to the way we socialize boys and girls. Children tend to adopt “scripts” that tell them how to behave aggressively. A child is embedded in a variety of social systems that work together to shape a child’s aggression such as their family system, media system, peer group, community and culture. Aggression is a learned behaviour. Children will observe and listen to how families deal aggressively with each other and they tend to adopt this as part of the way they deal with issues. (WRITING SCRIPTS) Children will use newly acquired scripts to rehearse aggressive behaviour however, there is no guarantee that the child will use the aggressive script. (SCRIPT REHEARSAL) A child can retrieve and activate a script at any given time. (SCRIPT ACTIVATION)
Three things induce children to retrieve and activate aggressive scripts:
· rehearsal (call-up)
· cues for aggression (interactive videos)
· continued exposure to aggression (even more scripts)
Families teach aggression by using coercion which is a psychological or physical force. We know aggressive discipline strategies only temporarily stop children from fighting and do not have any proven long term effects on extinguishing future behaviour.
The type of caregiving and discipline we enlist will have a profound and immediate reaction on how children behave.
Authoritarian caregivers:
· fail to meet needs of a child
· do not model or teach effective social skills
· provide cues for aggression
Aggressive peers will influence others through:
· modeling
· reinforcing (revenge)
· regulating norms (cheering-on aggression)
Media Violence Statistics – Pg. 239
Children who watch excessive media violence can develop aggressive attitudes, values and behaviour. It can influence them in four ways;
1. imitate what they see
2. reduces any learned inhibitions against violent behaviour
3. desensitizes to violence
4. increases arousal
Strategies for Guiding Aggressive Children
- set and clearly communicate limits prohibiting aggression
- teach children to make decisions about what they watch
- spend time watching television programs with children and discuss any violent scenes
- encourage children to be empathetic
- encourage children to be aware of consequences and develop a value system that promotes respectful treatment of others
- teach positive behaviour (assertiveness, negotiation, cooperation, sharing, helping)
- recognize and encourage cooperative behaviour and language
- encourage responsible anger management
- work with parents and the community at large in violence prevention
Families are embedded in communities that have an effect on family belief and value systems.
Pg. 245 and 246 – Working with Parents box has some helpful suggestions.
In summary:
There is no "quick fix" to aggression, but there are some steps that early childhood educators and others who work with children can take to minimize or prevent aggression. By following the strategies for guiding aggressive children and understanding a child's developmental levels we can help a child appropriately deal with and understand the aggression they experience.
Text Readings:
Chapter 9
Please read Chapter 10 for next week
Websites:
American Medical Association-Lists many violence prevention resources
www.ama-assn.org
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry-info on violence & its prevention
www.aacap.org
National Association for the Education of Young Children
www.naeyc.org
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Components of Anger
Three Components of Anger:
1. The emotional state – a feeling resulting when a person’s goal or need is blocked
2. The expression – an attempt to cope by expressing the anger they feel
*age & gender and if the child has control of the situation will affect the expression of the anger
3. The understanding- ability to interpret & evaluate the emotion
Anger – think about this:
~ Is an emotion or “affective” state
~ Emotional energy-how can this emotion energize us? How is anger different from aggression?
~ A signal…for what?
~ A natural and normal experience even if the anger is unpleasant
~ Do you think that most people believe that anger is natural and normal?
Why children get angry/how they cope with their anger:
Anger “Triggers”
Page 203, Figure 8.1 in text
Guiding Children’s Expressions of Anger:
~ Create a safe emotional climate
~ Model responsible anger management
~ Acknowledge feeling, stay calm, chose how to express anger
~ Help children develop self control
~ Teach children to use words & describe angry feelings (help to expand their feelings vocabulary)
~ Listen actively when children are having an anger conflict
~ Plan discussions about anger
~ Use appropriate books & stories about anger (see pg.217-figure 8.5 Checklist for choosing books on anger)
~ Teach children how to deal with the stress of anger
~ Work with parents
Good Reasons for Teaching Responsible Anger Management:
~ Helps children learn responsible ways to manage their anger
~ Teaches children that anger is a natural and normal experience
~ Is a good example of the primary prevention of child abuse
~ Might prevent some long-term health problems and damaged relationships from
poorly managed anger.
PROBLEM SOLVING
Consider issues of:
a) autocratic decision making
b) compromise
c) voting
Try the following when:
a) there is an impasse
b) a lack of co-operation
c) feeling of unfairness
It is necessary:
a) to establish communication, listening, hearing and talking
b) equality
c) respect
Step 1:
1) Persons discuss problem and make some WE decisions regarding approach.
2) Involve only the individuals who are directly related to the problem.
3) Person who owns the problem should introduce the issue.
- “I think we have a problem…”
- “We need to take a look at…”
- “I’m having trouble…”
- “Maybe we need to…”
Step 2:
1) Define the problem
2) Brainstorm possible solutions
3) Evaluate all solutions
4) Decide on best solution
5) Implementing the decision
6) Evaluate
Advantages to Co-operative Problem Solving
1) Sharing responsibility
2) Learning
3) Eliminates need for power
4) Gets to real problems
5) Chance of finding quality solutions greater
6) People more motivated to carry out decisions
7) Helps to get to real issues
8) Creates a certain level of objectivity
9) Involves more than one person
10) Opens communication
11) Is a teaching/learning experience
12) Identifies Problem Ownership
SKILLS IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION
1) deal with present and future
2) “i” messages
3) do not establish rightness or wrongness
4) solve one issue at a time
5) do it now
6) say what you think and feel
7) change habitual responses
8) allow time to change
9) accept responsibility
10) avoid negating non-verbal messages
11) be accurate, factual and relate from your perceptions
12) listen and hear the beliefs and feelings behind the words
REASONS WHY WE CONFRONT
NEGATIVE:
a) Because we’re angry
b) Because we’re tired and irritable
c) We’ve lost our poise
d) To show authority
e) To make someone conform
f) Because we need to “win”
g) Because we want to “get even”
h) To frighten others into “line”
i) To make others “suffer”
j) Because we are pessimistic
NEGATIVE CONFRONTATION POINTS A FINGER _______"YOU...."
POSITIVE:
a) To avoid being compromised
b) To create change
c) To be active in problem solving
d) To create commonality
e) To insure self-worth
f) To create movement
g) To create a problem solving process
h) Because we are optimistic
POSITIVE CONFRONTATION EMPHASISES _______ " I...."
1. The emotional state – a feeling resulting when a person’s goal or need is blocked
2. The expression – an attempt to cope by expressing the anger they feel
*age & gender and if the child has control of the situation will affect the expression of the anger
3. The understanding- ability to interpret & evaluate the emotion
Anger – think about this:
~ Is an emotion or “affective” state
~ Emotional energy-how can this emotion energize us? How is anger different from aggression?
~ A signal…for what?
~ A natural and normal experience even if the anger is unpleasant
~ Do you think that most people believe that anger is natural and normal?
Why children get angry/how they cope with their anger:
Anger “Triggers”
Page 203, Figure 8.1 in text
Guiding Children’s Expressions of Anger:
~ Create a safe emotional climate
~ Model responsible anger management
~ Acknowledge feeling, stay calm, chose how to express anger
~ Help children develop self control
~ Teach children to use words & describe angry feelings (help to expand their feelings vocabulary)
~ Listen actively when children are having an anger conflict
~ Plan discussions about anger
~ Use appropriate books & stories about anger (see pg.217-figure 8.5 Checklist for choosing books on anger)
~ Teach children how to deal with the stress of anger
~ Work with parents
Good Reasons for Teaching Responsible Anger Management:
~ Helps children learn responsible ways to manage their anger
~ Teaches children that anger is a natural and normal experience
~ Is a good example of the primary prevention of child abuse
~ Might prevent some long-term health problems and damaged relationships from
poorly managed anger.
PROBLEM SOLVING
Consider issues of:
a) autocratic decision making
b) compromise
c) voting
Try the following when:
a) there is an impasse
b) a lack of co-operation
c) feeling of unfairness
It is necessary:
a) to establish communication, listening, hearing and talking
b) equality
c) respect
Step 1:
1) Persons discuss problem and make some WE decisions regarding approach.
2) Involve only the individuals who are directly related to the problem.
3) Person who owns the problem should introduce the issue.
- “I think we have a problem…”
- “We need to take a look at…”
- “I’m having trouble…”
- “Maybe we need to…”
Step 2:
1) Define the problem
2) Brainstorm possible solutions
3) Evaluate all solutions
4) Decide on best solution
5) Implementing the decision
6) Evaluate
Advantages to Co-operative Problem Solving
1) Sharing responsibility
2) Learning
3) Eliminates need for power
4) Gets to real problems
5) Chance of finding quality solutions greater
6) People more motivated to carry out decisions
7) Helps to get to real issues
8) Creates a certain level of objectivity
9) Involves more than one person
10) Opens communication
11) Is a teaching/learning experience
12) Identifies Problem Ownership
SKILLS IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION
1) deal with present and future
2) “i” messages
3) do not establish rightness or wrongness
4) solve one issue at a time
5) do it now
6) say what you think and feel
7) change habitual responses
8) allow time to change
9) accept responsibility
10) avoid negating non-verbal messages
11) be accurate, factual and relate from your perceptions
12) listen and hear the beliefs and feelings behind the words
REASONS WHY WE CONFRONT
NEGATIVE:
a) Because we’re angry
b) Because we’re tired and irritable
c) We’ve lost our poise
d) To show authority
e) To make someone conform
f) Because we need to “win”
g) Because we want to “get even”
h) To frighten others into “line”
i) To make others “suffer”
j) Because we are pessimistic
NEGATIVE CONFRONTATION POINTS A FINGER _______"YOU...."
POSITIVE:
a) To avoid being compromised
b) To create change
c) To be active in problem solving
d) To create commonality
e) To insure self-worth
f) To create movement
g) To create a problem solving process
h) Because we are optimistic
POSITIVE CONFRONTATION EMPHASISES _______ " I...."
Chapter 8
Chapter 8
Introduction:
This chapter will help you understand the nature and development of anger, especially as it occurs during early childhood. We will look at some developmentally appropriate ways to help children manage their anger responsibly. We will learn what emotional intelligence is and how it can have a direct impact on how a child deals with their anger. With that being said we will also explore some ideas that can assist us in giving children the tools they need to understand and manage their anger appropriately.
Learning objectives:
> Explain several facets of the concept of anger: the definition, causes of anger in children, how children cope with anger, display rules for anger.
> List several good reasons for teaching responsible anger management.
> List and describe examples of developmentally appropriate strategies for helping children manage anger responsibly.
> List and explain the 4 major components of emotional intelligence.
Body of the lecture:
Emotional Intelligence refers to how well a person copes with his or her own feelings and whether the person has empathy and gets along with others. Essentially emotional intelligent children who are able to manage their emotions and who tend to feel more connected to others are better able to solve their problems and deal with conflict better than those children who would be classified as not emotionally intelligent.
Building Blocks of Emotional Intelligence:
~ Self awareness - Clear sense of self. Must be able to recognize and think about his/her emotions.
~ Awareness of others - Perspective taking. Understanding that other people have feelings also.
~ Self management - A person's ability to manage his/her own emotions and behaviour responsibly. They need to have the skills to do this.
~ Interaction and relationship management - The ability to relate to others ethically, productively, and humanely and is the core of healthy social development.
Emotional intelligence is learned. It will not develop unless a child has appropriate models of emotional intelligence who take the time to give essential lessons.
Installing hardware for Emotional Intelligence-see figure 8.3 pg. 207.
Anger is a natural and normal emotion. Anger can be described as a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility. If anger is chronic (ongoing) or if it is unresolved can be quite detrimental to your health and relationships with other people.
There are three components of anger:
1. the emotional state of anger (feeling)
2. the expression of anger (behaviour/words)
3. the understanding of anger
SEE Causes of Anger Pg. 203
SEE How Children Express Anger Pg. 204
Factors Affecting How Children Express Anger
Age and Gender
Younger children tend to express anger more readily because they haven’t had an opportunity to learn their cultures rules about expressing anger and because younger children don’t understand their anger; therefore, they are lacking skills for managing how they express anger. Boys tend to vent or use mildly aggressive methods and girls generally use active resistance. This difference may exist due to how we socialize boys and girls.
Degree of control over situation
Children see themselves and other children on an equal footing in terms of power. Therefore, children often express anger toward peers more directly than they do towards adults. With adults, children express anger more indirectly with strategies such as venting.
Understanding Anger
The ability to interpret and evaluate the emotion.
Four major developmental factors contribute to a young child’s inability to understand and control how they express anger:
1. Brain development a focus on the prefrontal cortex which is the part of the brain that governs the regulation of emotions takes years to develop. The amygdala scans each experience to see if the person is in danger.
2. Memory is the basic cognitive process it improves substantially during early childhood
3. Language is when we talk about emotions and learn to label them
4. Self - Awareness and Self - Control are traits a self aware person has. This type of person tends to see himself separate from others and they generally have a degree of influence over how some things turn out.
To guide children’s expressions of anger
× the adult should create a safe emotional climate to acknowledge and express feelings
× convey a message – you have the right to feel angry – I will help you learn to talk and deal with your feelings – I will tell you clearly that you are not allowed to express anger destructively
× model responsible anger management
× acknowledge feeling
× stay calm
× choose how to express anger
× help children develop self-control – infants and toddlers will not have self control, so do not expect it – be empathetic and recognize when children are ready to assume more responsibility gradually
× teach children to use words to describe angry feelings
× help children expand their vocabulary of feelings (i.e. mad, furious, and upset)
× listen actively when children are having an anger conflict – this tells them you are interested in their problem
× plan discussions about anger – be creative and proactive (i.e. books, stories, thinking puppets, scenarios)
× use appropriate books about anger management (Bibliotherapy – refers to using literature to promote mental health) this can serve the following purposes:
· get information about anger from well chosen books
· make connections between what they hear about anger
· more likely to view their own anger as natural
See checklist for choosing books on anger : Figure 8.5 pg. 217
Teach children how to deal with stress of anger – deep breathing is helpful
Work with parents – see tips on pg. 219
Work with other professionals – teachers are educated to teach, but are not trained therapists pg. 218.
In summary:
It is imperative that early childhood educators understand the development of anger so that they can help children learn to deal with this strong emotion. Early childhood educators, parent educators and family life educators can also use this information to help adults understand and learn more responsible ways of managing anger. Anger can be difficult to deal with and it is important that we take the time to try and understand the how’s and why’s of this emotion to aid children in dealing with it.
The literature on child abuse demonstrates that unresolved anger contributes to abuse of young children.
Text Readings:
Chapter 8
Please read chapter 9 for next week.
Websites:
Parenting Toolbox-info for parents (go to “family anger” for sites related to anger management)
www.parentingtoolbox.com
www.psc.uc.edu (go to “self-help information” and then to “anger management”)
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Introduction:
This chapter will help you understand the nature and development of anger, especially as it occurs during early childhood. We will look at some developmentally appropriate ways to help children manage their anger responsibly. We will learn what emotional intelligence is and how it can have a direct impact on how a child deals with their anger. With that being said we will also explore some ideas that can assist us in giving children the tools they need to understand and manage their anger appropriately.
Learning objectives:
> Explain several facets of the concept of anger: the definition, causes of anger in children, how children cope with anger, display rules for anger.
> List several good reasons for teaching responsible anger management.
> List and describe examples of developmentally appropriate strategies for helping children manage anger responsibly.
> List and explain the 4 major components of emotional intelligence.
Body of the lecture:
Emotional Intelligence refers to how well a person copes with his or her own feelings and whether the person has empathy and gets along with others. Essentially emotional intelligent children who are able to manage their emotions and who tend to feel more connected to others are better able to solve their problems and deal with conflict better than those children who would be classified as not emotionally intelligent.
Building Blocks of Emotional Intelligence:
~ Self awareness - Clear sense of self. Must be able to recognize and think about his/her emotions.
~ Awareness of others - Perspective taking. Understanding that other people have feelings also.
~ Self management - A person's ability to manage his/her own emotions and behaviour responsibly. They need to have the skills to do this.
~ Interaction and relationship management - The ability to relate to others ethically, productively, and humanely and is the core of healthy social development.
Emotional intelligence is learned. It will not develop unless a child has appropriate models of emotional intelligence who take the time to give essential lessons.
Installing hardware for Emotional Intelligence-see figure 8.3 pg. 207.
Anger is a natural and normal emotion. Anger can be described as a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility. If anger is chronic (ongoing) or if it is unresolved can be quite detrimental to your health and relationships with other people.
There are three components of anger:
1. the emotional state of anger (feeling)
2. the expression of anger (behaviour/words)
3. the understanding of anger
SEE Causes of Anger Pg. 203
SEE How Children Express Anger Pg. 204
Factors Affecting How Children Express Anger
Age and Gender
Younger children tend to express anger more readily because they haven’t had an opportunity to learn their cultures rules about expressing anger and because younger children don’t understand their anger; therefore, they are lacking skills for managing how they express anger. Boys tend to vent or use mildly aggressive methods and girls generally use active resistance. This difference may exist due to how we socialize boys and girls.
Degree of control over situation
Children see themselves and other children on an equal footing in terms of power. Therefore, children often express anger toward peers more directly than they do towards adults. With adults, children express anger more indirectly with strategies such as venting.
Understanding Anger
The ability to interpret and evaluate the emotion.
Four major developmental factors contribute to a young child’s inability to understand and control how they express anger:
1. Brain development a focus on the prefrontal cortex which is the part of the brain that governs the regulation of emotions takes years to develop. The amygdala scans each experience to see if the person is in danger.
2. Memory is the basic cognitive process it improves substantially during early childhood
3. Language is when we talk about emotions and learn to label them
4. Self - Awareness and Self - Control are traits a self aware person has. This type of person tends to see himself separate from others and they generally have a degree of influence over how some things turn out.
To guide children’s expressions of anger
× the adult should create a safe emotional climate to acknowledge and express feelings
× convey a message – you have the right to feel angry – I will help you learn to talk and deal with your feelings – I will tell you clearly that you are not allowed to express anger destructively
× model responsible anger management
× acknowledge feeling
× stay calm
× choose how to express anger
× help children develop self-control – infants and toddlers will not have self control, so do not expect it – be empathetic and recognize when children are ready to assume more responsibility gradually
× teach children to use words to describe angry feelings
× help children expand their vocabulary of feelings (i.e. mad, furious, and upset)
× listen actively when children are having an anger conflict – this tells them you are interested in their problem
× plan discussions about anger – be creative and proactive (i.e. books, stories, thinking puppets, scenarios)
× use appropriate books about anger management (Bibliotherapy – refers to using literature to promote mental health) this can serve the following purposes:
· get information about anger from well chosen books
· make connections between what they hear about anger
· more likely to view their own anger as natural
See checklist for choosing books on anger : Figure 8.5 pg. 217
Teach children how to deal with stress of anger – deep breathing is helpful
Work with parents – see tips on pg. 219
Work with other professionals – teachers are educated to teach, but are not trained therapists pg. 218.
In summary:
It is imperative that early childhood educators understand the development of anger so that they can help children learn to deal with this strong emotion. Early childhood educators, parent educators and family life educators can also use this information to help adults understand and learn more responsible ways of managing anger. Anger can be difficult to deal with and it is important that we take the time to try and understand the how’s and why’s of this emotion to aid children in dealing with it.
The literature on child abuse demonstrates that unresolved anger contributes to abuse of young children.
Text Readings:
Chapter 8
Please read chapter 9 for next week.
Websites:
Parenting Toolbox-info for parents (go to “family anger” for sites related to anger management)
www.parentingtoolbox.com
www.psc.uc.edu (go to “self-help information” and then to “anger management”)
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Stress Proofing Your Child
These tips, adapted from the Kids Have Stress Too! Program can help prevent and reduce stress in children.
· Ensure that children eat nutritiously, and get plenty of exercise and sleep. Physically fit, healthy and well-rested children are more resilient to the effects of stress.
· Give children lots of hugs, kisses and affection. Children who feel safe and secure are more stress-resistant.
· Watch carefully for signs that your child is having a stress-related problem. McDerment suggests doing a daily unobtrusive “check”: Does your child look sad, tired, worried or tense?
· Help young children articulate how they are feeling, using words they understand. Are they mad, glad or sad? Take time to listen to what they’re saying, without interrupting or finishing their sentences.
· Don’t trivialize or dismiss your child’s feelings, no matter how over-exaggerated they may seem to you. “Problems come with feelings attached, and you have to acknowledge those feelings,” says McDerment.
· Make sure children have some downtime to unwind and recharge. A child who is over scheduled is a tired child-and a stressed one. McDerment suggests that two activities a week are sufficient, geared to the individual needs of the child. She recommends that parents choose one of the activities, and children the other.
· Help children develop good problem-solving skills. Children who are able to work out solutions to their problems themselves gain a sense of control.
· Promote positive self-talk. When a child starts berating himself for something that’s gone wrong, for example, encourage him to say instead, “Hey, I’m not such a loser, I do lots of things right.” Or “Gee, it isn’t all that bad; I’ll do better next time.”
· Teach children the calming effect of taking a few deep breaths, “It’s the easiest, most accessible and most underutilized stress strategy available,” says MCDerment
For more information on the Kids Have Stress Too! Parent education program, contact the Psychology Foundation of Canada at 480 University Ave., Suite 800, Toronto M5G 1V2; 416-595-9966; www.psychologyfoundation.org
Nora Underwood pg 140 homemaker’s October 1999
Ch 7 handout
· Ensure that children eat nutritiously, and get plenty of exercise and sleep. Physically fit, healthy and well-rested children are more resilient to the effects of stress.
· Give children lots of hugs, kisses and affection. Children who feel safe and secure are more stress-resistant.
· Watch carefully for signs that your child is having a stress-related problem. McDerment suggests doing a daily unobtrusive “check”: Does your child look sad, tired, worried or tense?
· Help young children articulate how they are feeling, using words they understand. Are they mad, glad or sad? Take time to listen to what they’re saying, without interrupting or finishing their sentences.
· Don’t trivialize or dismiss your child’s feelings, no matter how over-exaggerated they may seem to you. “Problems come with feelings attached, and you have to acknowledge those feelings,” says McDerment.
· Make sure children have some downtime to unwind and recharge. A child who is over scheduled is a tired child-and a stressed one. McDerment suggests that two activities a week are sufficient, geared to the individual needs of the child. She recommends that parents choose one of the activities, and children the other.
· Help children develop good problem-solving skills. Children who are able to work out solutions to their problems themselves gain a sense of control.
· Promote positive self-talk. When a child starts berating himself for something that’s gone wrong, for example, encourage him to say instead, “Hey, I’m not such a loser, I do lots of things right.” Or “Gee, it isn’t all that bad; I’ll do better next time.”
· Teach children the calming effect of taking a few deep breaths, “It’s the easiest, most accessible and most underutilized stress strategy available,” says MCDerment
For more information on the Kids Have Stress Too! Parent education program, contact the Psychology Foundation of Canada at 480 University Ave., Suite 800, Toronto M5G 1V2; 416-595-9966; www.psychologyfoundation.org
Nora Underwood pg 140 homemaker’s October 1999
Ch 7 handout
Helping Children Cope with Stress
Resilience:
> Resilience is a set of qualities enabling a child to adapt successfully in spite of risk & adversity
> Protective Factors that Foster Resilience:
~ A caring relationship
~ High expectations
~ Opportunities for participation
Stress in Childhood:
Acute-intense stress, occurs suddenly e.g. trip to the emergency room. Stress can be physical or psychological or both
Chronic-persistent stress, comes into a person’s life and remains for a long time (possibly forever)
e.g. effects of abuse, poverty, illness
Sources of Stress:
Internal: come from within the child; i.e. hunger pangs in a neglected infant.
External: originate outside the child; i.e. moving
Children experience stress when they cannot cope effectively with some internal or external demand.
How stress affects children:
Physical Effects pg. 178
Behavioural and Psychological Effects pg.179
SEE FIGURE 7.1
Stages in Responding to Stress:
~ Alarm-child stops what s/he is doing and focuses on the event for the 1st time
~ Appraisal-this complex stage involves reviewing past events and trying to cope
~ Searching for a coping strategy-the child has a better chance at coping if they believe
they can control or master the event
Coping Effectively with Stressors:
Coping is looking for something inside or outside yourself to come to terms with stressors.
There are different ways of coping with stressors:
~ Get information
~ Take direct action
~ Restrain movements or actions
~ Deny or avoid the problem
To Cope Well:
~ Children’s cognitive, physical, social, and emotional development affects whether they
have what it takes to cope or whether they need adult guidance to cope
~ They must be able to think about more than one thing at a time
~ Invent alternative ways of solving a problem
~ Manage unpleasant emotions
~ Understand how their reactions affect situations
~ Think purposefully
General Guidelines for Helping Children Cope with Stress:
~ Model good stress management
~ Manage a classroom so that it is a low stress environment
~ Acknowledge & learn about the variety of stressors in children’s lives
~ Act as a buffer between a child and a stressor
~ Teach children calming & relaxing skills
~ Learn & teach good coping skills
> Resilience is a set of qualities enabling a child to adapt successfully in spite of risk & adversity
> Protective Factors that Foster Resilience:
~ A caring relationship
~ High expectations
~ Opportunities for participation
Stress in Childhood:
Acute-intense stress, occurs suddenly e.g. trip to the emergency room. Stress can be physical or psychological or both
Chronic-persistent stress, comes into a person’s life and remains for a long time (possibly forever)
e.g. effects of abuse, poverty, illness
Sources of Stress:
Internal: come from within the child; i.e. hunger pangs in a neglected infant.
External: originate outside the child; i.e. moving
Children experience stress when they cannot cope effectively with some internal or external demand.
How stress affects children:
Physical Effects pg. 178
Behavioural and Psychological Effects pg.179
SEE FIGURE 7.1
Stages in Responding to Stress:
~ Alarm-child stops what s/he is doing and focuses on the event for the 1st time
~ Appraisal-this complex stage involves reviewing past events and trying to cope
~ Searching for a coping strategy-the child has a better chance at coping if they believe
they can control or master the event
Coping Effectively with Stressors:
Coping is looking for something inside or outside yourself to come to terms with stressors.
There are different ways of coping with stressors:
~ Get information
~ Take direct action
~ Restrain movements or actions
~ Deny or avoid the problem
To Cope Well:
~ Children’s cognitive, physical, social, and emotional development affects whether they
have what it takes to cope or whether they need adult guidance to cope
~ They must be able to think about more than one thing at a time
~ Invent alternative ways of solving a problem
~ Manage unpleasant emotions
~ Understand how their reactions affect situations
~ Think purposefully
General Guidelines for Helping Children Cope with Stress:
~ Model good stress management
~ Manage a classroom so that it is a low stress environment
~ Acknowledge & learn about the variety of stressors in children’s lives
~ Act as a buffer between a child and a stressor
~ Teach children calming & relaxing skills
~ Learn & teach good coping skills
Chapter 7
Introduction:
This chapter will describe the factors that effect the nature of resilience and stress for children. This lecture will show us that children do in fact suffer from stress and their stressors can be quite similar and in some case the same as those experienced by adults. There are certain stages of stress that will be examined as well as some guidelines that will assist us in helping children deal with the stress they encounter.
Learning objectives:
> Define resilience and stress.
> List to major sources of stress and explain how stress can affect children.
> Describe stages in responding to stress.
> Explain the connection between stress and physical health.
> Describe developmentally appropriate strategies for helping children cope with potentially stressful events.
Body of the lecture:
Resilience:
Is a set of qualities enabling a child to adapt successfully in spite of risk and diversity
Protective factors that foster resilience:
* *AUTHORITATIVE CAREGIVING*
* a caring relationship (warm)
* high expectations (reasonable)
* opportunities for participation (valued)
Certain parts of the brain, nervous system, and endocrine system affect one’s reaction to potentially stressful events.
Stressors:
Stress can be either physical or psychological separately or in combination with each other.
PHYSICAL – excessive stimulation that can injure the tissue of some part of a child’s body (i.e. excessively loud noises, infections, drugs, extremely harsh lighting, decreased oxygen, injuries, extreme hot or cold) Prime example of why not to leave your child unattended in a car, especially on a hot day.
PSYCHOLOGICAL STRESS – excessive stimulation with the potential to threaten a child’s sense of well-being. It is a relationship between the child and their environment.
· Can the child understand and evaluate an event as well as coping with it?
· Psychological stress will occur when the child feels overwhelmed by the inability to cope
· Children will often feel stress when internal/external conditions keep them from meeting a need such as security, bonding, acceptance, status, meaning, and mastery
· What one child may find stressful another may not
· Life events can be “potentially” stressful (i.e. moving)
Acute Stress – (profound, deep, extreme, intense, short-lived) – occurs suddenly and unexpectedly (i.e. emergency room visit for broken arm)
Chronic Stress – (persistent, unceasing, continuous) – like a disease, they will have experienced poverty, illness, abuse, inappropriate parenting, loneliness (no friends)
The effects of chronic stress will seem to accumulate to cause problems even for children who are well adjusted.
Sources of stress can be internal or external
Internal – (i.e. hunger pangs in the neglected infant, or emotional feelings if the child is now shown how to handle)
External – (i.e. coming from the child’s environment such as abuse, neglect, anger, developmentally inappropriate practices, death or injury, moving, divorce.)
How Stress Affects Children
The child under stress would like to say “There’s something wrong in my life”, but may express it in ways such as aggression, lack of concentration, anxiousness.
Physical Effects of Stress
- racing heart, dry mouth, headache, or stomach ache
- stress lowers white blood cell count ; therefore, they have a lowered resistance to infectious diseases
Stressors such as abuse or neglect signal the body to prepare for fight or flight, to defend itself from danger. If a child is in constant threat of abuse they will be in a state of readiness; therefore, the child’s body may produce an excessive amount of stress hormones and an excessively high level of stress hormones can kill brain cells and reduce the number of connections among brain cells (the synapses). Studies have found that abused children’s brains can be up to 30% smaller than the brains of children who don’t experience the stress of child abuse.
Behavioural and Psychological Effects of Stress
...Psychological distress that children feel often shows up as a behaviour. See pg. 179 Figure 7.1(and as previously discussed in Chapter 3 Figure 3.3).
...Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is a psychiatric disorder in childhood. Although it is normal in childhood to test limits, the psychiatric community believes that hostile and openly uncooperative behaviour can become a concern when it is so frequent and consistent that it stands out when compared with other children of the same age and developmental level and when it seriously impairs a child’s functioning.
...Children with this disorder will have frequent tempter tantrums, are touchy and easily annoyed by others, show a lot of resentment and anger and argue frequently with adults. Symptoms of ODD will increase when a child is under stress. One of the treatment methods is training parents.
Stages in Responding to Stress
Alarm – child stops what they are doing and focuses on the potentially stressful event.
Appraisal – this stage is complex and involves review what this event meant in the past.
The following can affect the child’s appraisal:
- developmental level (memory and perception) an older child can evaluate and remember better
- experience with adults – how have they modeled to look at and evaluate events
- self-esteem – if it is positive they will cope better
Searching for a Coping Strategy Possibilities:
1st – the child is familiar with an event, has actively dealt with it in the past and used a good coping strategy = this enables the child to think that he can master the current event
2nd – the child is familiar with an event, has actively dealt with it in the past, but used an ineffective coping strategy = this will make the child wary because they have not figured out how to cope
3rd – the child is familiar with a stressor but has not really dealt with it first hand = second-hand experience will impact emotional or physiological arousal
4th – the child is totally unfamiliar with a stressor = the anxiety the child will experience will depend largely on how the adult plays a role in assisting the child to understand (the adult may consider changing the situation or be a buffer to cushion or “de-mystify” the event)
Coping Effectively with Stressors
~ A person who copes looks for something inside or outside herself to come to terms with stressors.
~ Your goal in working with children is to help them cope as effectively as possible with stressors; however, coping does not mean that the child will necessarily have a happy outcome. (I.e. child abuse)
~ There are different ways to cope with stressors no one way is best for every person, remember children are individuals.
· some people cope by getting information on the stressor through memory (inside) or through help books, therapy etc. (outside)
· some people cope by taking direct action (withdrawing or asserting their rights (i.e. parent takes time to cool down when angry with child)
· some people cope by restraining movements or actions
· some people cope by denying or avoiding the problem (defense mechanism)
~ To cope well you have to be able to think about more than one thing at a time – consider options from different angles:
· you must be able to problem solve – categorize options – adults need to help children because emotions often over shadow their ability to solve problems and they have difficulty seeing how things can change and classifying things into logical groups
· you need to be able to manage unpleasant emotions – young children tend not to understand their emotions, adults can model and teach children how to manage
· you must understand how your reactions affect situations ~ perspective taking and knowledge base
· you must think purposefully – young children tend to focus on the obvious – their own agitation
General Guidelines for Helping Children Cope with Stress
· Model Good Stress Manage children observe
· Manage the classroom so it is a “Low” Stress Environment
· Acknowledge and Learn About the Variety of Stressors in Children’s lives
· Act as a Buffer (supporter) between a Child and a Stressor
· Teach Children the Skills of Calming Themselves and Relaxing
· Learn and teach good coping skills
In summary:
Stress is a very real part of a child's life and can affect their mental and physical health. We know that being an authoritative caregiver will give us the necessary skills to help a child deal with the stress in their life. We need to recognize our limits as ECEs and when we find ourselves dealing with something quite challenging it is our duty as professionals to help the child and their families receive the help they need. This may be through offering advice such as speaking with the child's school teacher or consulting their family physician.
Teachers can help children develop resilience. It is important to be a "buffer" to children that may experience a potentially stressful event and to teach them coping skills in a loving and supportive manner. Through careful and ongoing observation a teacher will be able to understand what items might trigger stress individual children. When this is learned, a teacher will be able to help a child avoid or work through stressful situations.
Text Readings:
Chapter 7
Please read chapter 8 for next week.
Website:
www.parenting-ed.org
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
This chapter will describe the factors that effect the nature of resilience and stress for children. This lecture will show us that children do in fact suffer from stress and their stressors can be quite similar and in some case the same as those experienced by adults. There are certain stages of stress that will be examined as well as some guidelines that will assist us in helping children deal with the stress they encounter.
Learning objectives:
> Define resilience and stress.
> List to major sources of stress and explain how stress can affect children.
> Describe stages in responding to stress.
> Explain the connection between stress and physical health.
> Describe developmentally appropriate strategies for helping children cope with potentially stressful events.
Body of the lecture:
Resilience:
Is a set of qualities enabling a child to adapt successfully in spite of risk and diversity
Protective factors that foster resilience:
* *AUTHORITATIVE CAREGIVING*
* a caring relationship (warm)
* high expectations (reasonable)
* opportunities for participation (valued)
Certain parts of the brain, nervous system, and endocrine system affect one’s reaction to potentially stressful events.
Stressors:
Stress can be either physical or psychological separately or in combination with each other.
PHYSICAL – excessive stimulation that can injure the tissue of some part of a child’s body (i.e. excessively loud noises, infections, drugs, extremely harsh lighting, decreased oxygen, injuries, extreme hot or cold) Prime example of why not to leave your child unattended in a car, especially on a hot day.
PSYCHOLOGICAL STRESS – excessive stimulation with the potential to threaten a child’s sense of well-being. It is a relationship between the child and their environment.
· Can the child understand and evaluate an event as well as coping with it?
· Psychological stress will occur when the child feels overwhelmed by the inability to cope
· Children will often feel stress when internal/external conditions keep them from meeting a need such as security, bonding, acceptance, status, meaning, and mastery
· What one child may find stressful another may not
· Life events can be “potentially” stressful (i.e. moving)
Acute Stress – (profound, deep, extreme, intense, short-lived) – occurs suddenly and unexpectedly (i.e. emergency room visit for broken arm)
Chronic Stress – (persistent, unceasing, continuous) – like a disease, they will have experienced poverty, illness, abuse, inappropriate parenting, loneliness (no friends)
The effects of chronic stress will seem to accumulate to cause problems even for children who are well adjusted.
Sources of stress can be internal or external
Internal – (i.e. hunger pangs in the neglected infant, or emotional feelings if the child is now shown how to handle)
External – (i.e. coming from the child’s environment such as abuse, neglect, anger, developmentally inappropriate practices, death or injury, moving, divorce.)
How Stress Affects Children
The child under stress would like to say “There’s something wrong in my life”, but may express it in ways such as aggression, lack of concentration, anxiousness.
Physical Effects of Stress
- racing heart, dry mouth, headache, or stomach ache
- stress lowers white blood cell count ; therefore, they have a lowered resistance to infectious diseases
Stressors such as abuse or neglect signal the body to prepare for fight or flight, to defend itself from danger. If a child is in constant threat of abuse they will be in a state of readiness; therefore, the child’s body may produce an excessive amount of stress hormones and an excessively high level of stress hormones can kill brain cells and reduce the number of connections among brain cells (the synapses). Studies have found that abused children’s brains can be up to 30% smaller than the brains of children who don’t experience the stress of child abuse.
Behavioural and Psychological Effects of Stress
...Psychological distress that children feel often shows up as a behaviour. See pg. 179 Figure 7.1(and as previously discussed in Chapter 3 Figure 3.3).
...Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is a psychiatric disorder in childhood. Although it is normal in childhood to test limits, the psychiatric community believes that hostile and openly uncooperative behaviour can become a concern when it is so frequent and consistent that it stands out when compared with other children of the same age and developmental level and when it seriously impairs a child’s functioning.
...Children with this disorder will have frequent tempter tantrums, are touchy and easily annoyed by others, show a lot of resentment and anger and argue frequently with adults. Symptoms of ODD will increase when a child is under stress. One of the treatment methods is training parents.
Stages in Responding to Stress
Alarm – child stops what they are doing and focuses on the potentially stressful event.
Appraisal – this stage is complex and involves review what this event meant in the past.
The following can affect the child’s appraisal:
- developmental level (memory and perception) an older child can evaluate and remember better
- experience with adults – how have they modeled to look at and evaluate events
- self-esteem – if it is positive they will cope better
Searching for a Coping Strategy Possibilities:
1st – the child is familiar with an event, has actively dealt with it in the past and used a good coping strategy = this enables the child to think that he can master the current event
2nd – the child is familiar with an event, has actively dealt with it in the past, but used an ineffective coping strategy = this will make the child wary because they have not figured out how to cope
3rd – the child is familiar with a stressor but has not really dealt with it first hand = second-hand experience will impact emotional or physiological arousal
4th – the child is totally unfamiliar with a stressor = the anxiety the child will experience will depend largely on how the adult plays a role in assisting the child to understand (the adult may consider changing the situation or be a buffer to cushion or “de-mystify” the event)
Coping Effectively with Stressors
~ A person who copes looks for something inside or outside herself to come to terms with stressors.
~ Your goal in working with children is to help them cope as effectively as possible with stressors; however, coping does not mean that the child will necessarily have a happy outcome. (I.e. child abuse)
~ There are different ways to cope with stressors no one way is best for every person, remember children are individuals.
· some people cope by getting information on the stressor through memory (inside) or through help books, therapy etc. (outside)
· some people cope by taking direct action (withdrawing or asserting their rights (i.e. parent takes time to cool down when angry with child)
· some people cope by restraining movements or actions
· some people cope by denying or avoiding the problem (defense mechanism)
~ To cope well you have to be able to think about more than one thing at a time – consider options from different angles:
· you must be able to problem solve – categorize options – adults need to help children because emotions often over shadow their ability to solve problems and they have difficulty seeing how things can change and classifying things into logical groups
· you need to be able to manage unpleasant emotions – young children tend not to understand their emotions, adults can model and teach children how to manage
· you must understand how your reactions affect situations ~ perspective taking and knowledge base
· you must think purposefully – young children tend to focus on the obvious – their own agitation
General Guidelines for Helping Children Cope with Stress
· Model Good Stress Manage children observe
· Manage the classroom so it is a “Low” Stress Environment
· Acknowledge and Learn About the Variety of Stressors in Children’s lives
· Act as a Buffer (supporter) between a Child and a Stressor
· Teach Children the Skills of Calming Themselves and Relaxing
· Learn and teach good coping skills
In summary:
Stress is a very real part of a child's life and can affect their mental and physical health. We know that being an authoritative caregiver will give us the necessary skills to help a child deal with the stress in their life. We need to recognize our limits as ECEs and when we find ourselves dealing with something quite challenging it is our duty as professionals to help the child and their families receive the help they need. This may be through offering advice such as speaking with the child's school teacher or consulting their family physician.
Teachers can help children develop resilience. It is important to be a "buffer" to children that may experience a potentially stressful event and to teach them coping skills in a loving and supportive manner. Through careful and ongoing observation a teacher will be able to understand what items might trigger stress individual children. When this is learned, a teacher will be able to help a child avoid or work through stressful situations.
Text Readings:
Chapter 7
Please read chapter 8 for next week.
Website:
www.parenting-ed.org
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Self Esteem & Moral Identity
Self-Esteem is a life long process that starts in infancy; it develops in a social context and adults influence a child’s self esteem
Moral Identity governs what a child thinks is the right thing to do and determines why a child should take a specific action (children need a strong moral compass)
Parts of the “Self” (PG.155)
Self awareness
Self concept
Self control
Self esteem
Building Blocks of Self Esteem:
1. Competence
2. Control
3. Worth
Practices That Help Children Develop Authentic Self-Esteem:
- Believe in & adopt an authoritative caregiving style
- Plan activities that are deserving of children’s time
- Express genuine interest in children & their activities
- Give meaningful feedback to children
- Acknowledge both pleasant & unpleasant feelings
- Demonstrate respect for all family groups & cultures
- Teach specific social skills
Practices Likely to Contribute to Unhealthy Self Esteem:
- Child abuse or harsh discipline
- Failure to emphasize self-responsibility
- Unhelpful, overly critical, negative communication
- Denying unpleasant feelings
- Ignoring children or spending time grudgingly
- Acting in a judgmental or sexist way or showing contempt for some families or cultural groups
Moral Identity governs what a child thinks is the right thing to do and determines why a child should take a specific action (children need a strong moral compass)
Parts of the “Self” (PG.155)
Self awareness
Self concept
Self control
Self esteem
Building Blocks of Self Esteem:
1. Competence
2. Control
3. Worth
Practices That Help Children Develop Authentic Self-Esteem:
- Believe in & adopt an authoritative caregiving style
- Plan activities that are deserving of children’s time
- Express genuine interest in children & their activities
- Give meaningful feedback to children
- Acknowledge both pleasant & unpleasant feelings
- Demonstrate respect for all family groups & cultures
- Teach specific social skills
Practices Likely to Contribute to Unhealthy Self Esteem:
- Child abuse or harsh discipline
- Failure to emphasize self-responsibility
- Unhelpful, overly critical, negative communication
- Denying unpleasant feelings
- Ignoring children or spending time grudgingly
- Acting in a judgmental or sexist way or showing contempt for some families or cultural groups
HOW WE CAN ENCOURAGE CHILDREN
Encouragement is the most important aspect of child-raising. Dr. Draikurs claims that “A child needs encouragement as a plant needs sun and water.” The essence of encouragement is to increase the child’s confidence in himself and to convey to him that he is good enough as he is, not just as he might be.
It is all too common to find that our homes, classrooms and communities provide a series of discouraging experiences to many children and that all too often encouragement is given only to those who need it the least. We suggest that parents, teachers and all who deal with children keep in mind the following suggestions: (these apply in all human relationships).
· Avoid discouragement.
The feelings of inferiority which all humans experience must be overcome if we are to function optimally.
· Work for improvement, not perfection.
This goes for adults too!
· Commend Effort
One’s effort is more significant than one’s results.
· Separate the deed from the doer
One may reject the child’s actions without rejecting the child.
· Build on strengths, not weaknesses.
A misbehaving child has the power to defeat the adult. Give him credit for this.
· Show your trust in the child.
This must be sincere, so one must first learn to trust the child.
· Mistakes should not be viewed as failures.
We need to take away the stigma of failure.
Failure usually indicates lack of skill.
One’s worth is not dependant on success.
· Failure and defeat will only stimulate special effort when there remains the hope to eventual success.
They do not stimulate a deeply discouraged child who has lost all hopes of succeeding.
· Stimulate and lead the child, but do not try to push him ahead.
Let him move at his own speed.
· Remember that genuine happiness comes from self-sufficiency.
Children need to learn to take care of themselves.
· Integrate the child into the group, rather than treat him as “something special.”
Treating the child as “something special” increases his over-ambition. An over-ambitious child who cannot succeed usually switches to the useless side of life with “private logic”: “If I can’t be the best, I’ll at least be the worst.” Even more serious, he may give up altogether.
· Stimulating competition usually does not encourage children.
Those who see hope of winning may put forth extra effort, but the stress is on winning rather than on cooperation and contribution. The less competitive one is, the better is one able to stand competition.
· Remember that praise is not the same as encouragement.
Praise may have encouraging effect on some children, but praise often discourages and causes anxiety and fear. Some come to depend on praise and will perform only for recognition in ever-increasing amounts. Success accompanied by special praise for the result may make the child fear “I can never do it again!”
· Success is a by-product.
Preoccupation with the obligation to succeed is intimidating and the resulting fear and anxiety often contribute to failure. If one functions with the emphasis on what contribution he may make of how he may cooperate with others, success usually results.
It is all too common to find that our homes, classrooms and communities provide a series of discouraging experiences to many children and that all too often encouragement is given only to those who need it the least. We suggest that parents, teachers and all who deal with children keep in mind the following suggestions: (these apply in all human relationships).
· Avoid discouragement.
The feelings of inferiority which all humans experience must be overcome if we are to function optimally.
· Work for improvement, not perfection.
This goes for adults too!
· Commend Effort
One’s effort is more significant than one’s results.
· Separate the deed from the doer
One may reject the child’s actions without rejecting the child.
· Build on strengths, not weaknesses.
A misbehaving child has the power to defeat the adult. Give him credit for this.
· Show your trust in the child.
This must be sincere, so one must first learn to trust the child.
· Mistakes should not be viewed as failures.
We need to take away the stigma of failure.
Failure usually indicates lack of skill.
One’s worth is not dependant on success.
· Failure and defeat will only stimulate special effort when there remains the hope to eventual success.
They do not stimulate a deeply discouraged child who has lost all hopes of succeeding.
· Stimulate and lead the child, but do not try to push him ahead.
Let him move at his own speed.
· Remember that genuine happiness comes from self-sufficiency.
Children need to learn to take care of themselves.
· Integrate the child into the group, rather than treat him as “something special.”
Treating the child as “something special” increases his over-ambition. An over-ambitious child who cannot succeed usually switches to the useless side of life with “private logic”: “If I can’t be the best, I’ll at least be the worst.” Even more serious, he may give up altogether.
· Stimulating competition usually does not encourage children.
Those who see hope of winning may put forth extra effort, but the stress is on winning rather than on cooperation and contribution. The less competitive one is, the better is one able to stand competition.
· Remember that praise is not the same as encouragement.
Praise may have encouraging effect on some children, but praise often discourages and causes anxiety and fear. Some come to depend on praise and will perform only for recognition in ever-increasing amounts. Success accompanied by special praise for the result may make the child fear “I can never do it again!”
· Success is a by-product.
Preoccupation with the obligation to succeed is intimidating and the resulting fear and anxiety often contribute to failure. If one functions with the emphasis on what contribution he may make of how he may cooperate with others, success usually results.
Chapter 6
Chapter 6
Introduction:
This chapter will explore the nature and development of self-esteem during early childhood. We will place some focus the importance of helping children develop a strong moral compass as an essential part of the 'self'. We will discover that there is a great deal of importance placed on helping children develop a positive self-esteem and a moral compass. We will look at how we can assist children to achieve a positive self-esteem and moral compass primarily through an authoritative style of caregiving.
Learning objectives:
> Describe and explain the nature of the development of self-esteem during early childhood.
> Explore how adults can foster authentic self-esteem during early childhood.
> Understand the importance of linking the development of authentic self-esteem with a strong moral compass.
Body of the Lecture:
Self-esteem:
Building self-esteem is an active, life-long process. If self-esteem is authentic (positive, healthy, confident, and balanced) it provides a secure foundation for further growth and development. If it is negative it will instill a shaky foundation for development. Children with damaged self-esteem make a negative evaluation for their competence, control, or worth and it can sty with them for a life time.
Moral Identity:
Moral principles used to describe one’s self – it takes shape later in life. It governs two things – what a child thinks is the right thing to do, and why a child should take a specific course of action.
Moral Compass:
Strong, objective to guide behaviour. The best ways to help children develop a strong moral identity are:
- using positive discipline
- setting and maintaining appropriate limits
- requiring children to be self-responsible
- teaching them that some things are wrong
- emphasizing the right of others to respectful treatment
Page 154
Parts of the Self:
Children begin to construct their sense of self during infancy on. There are 4 components that make up self:
1. self-awareness
2. self-concept
3. self-control
4. self-esteem
Examples pg. 155
· Self-awareness – child views self as separate from others and can make things happen
· Self-concept – the knowledge the child acquires about themselves (i.e. physical appearance, abilities, gender, intellect, interpersonal skills)
· Self-control – behaviours that make it possible for children to regulate their impulses, tolerate frustration, and delay immediate gratification (begins at 24 months)
· Self-esteem – child pays attention to all the information gathered about themselves and makes some sort of judgment about the self
Three dimensions of self-esteem are:
· competence
· control
· worth
Competence – an ability to meet demands for achievement (hard work) (feedback should be authentic)
Control – the degree to which a child thinks that he is responsible for how things turn out (their actions affect goal achievement) (Authoritarian or abusive parents exert a great deal of arbitrary or rigid control resulting in the child feeling as if they have no control at all)
Worth – a child’s general sense of their own social value (child will judge self as worthy or not by how well they like themselves or others like them)
Self-esteem develops in a social context. As we discussed earlier all infants are born with a basic temperamental style. An infant’s “self” depends on the child’s characteristics and interactions with others.
SEE Page 161 (Garbage In Garbage Out)
Interactions with others effect the child’s evaluation of self. Young children rely on adult opinions and judgment; adults are viewed as superior wisdom keepers.
Practices that help children develop authentic self-esteem:
· authoritative caregiving
· plan appropriate activities (real topics, projects connected to others)
· express genuine interest in children and their activities
· give meaningful feedback to children (teach them to take credit gracefully/humbling)
· avoid empty praise (constantly saying Good Job!) – focus on appreciating the child’s interests and efforts
· acknowledge pleasant and unpleasant feelings
· demonstrate respect for all family groups and cultures – avoid sexism and judging physical attributes
· teach specific social skills (turn-taking, not interrupting, using words instead of hitting)
Practices that will contribute to unhealthy self-esteem:
· harsh discipline or abuse
· failure to emphasize self-responsibility (i.e. children need to take responsibility for their actions and tasks/expectations need to be outlined to them)
· unhelpful, overly critical or negative communication
· denying unpleasant feelings (i.e. recognize if a child is angry or unhappy)
· ignoring children or the time spent with them is begrudged
· acting in a judgmental, sexist way or showing contempt for some families or cultural groups
In summary:
You should now be able to identify what authentic self-esteem is, in addition to identifying the parts of "self" and how we can assist children in achieving these. This lecture helps us to realize that the environment we set up for the children has a direct effect on their overall behaviour. We should also be able to recognize that the way we speak to children and how we role model for them also has a direct impact on their behaviour. Again authoritative caregiving in an appropriate environment is the key!
Text readings:
Chapter 6
Please read Chapter 7 for next week.
Websites:
For books & games on self-esteem:
www.childswork.com
For articles:
www.parents.com
Learning Activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Test 1 will cover chapters 1 through to 6.
Introduction:
This chapter will explore the nature and development of self-esteem during early childhood. We will place some focus the importance of helping children develop a strong moral compass as an essential part of the 'self'. We will discover that there is a great deal of importance placed on helping children develop a positive self-esteem and a moral compass. We will look at how we can assist children to achieve a positive self-esteem and moral compass primarily through an authoritative style of caregiving.
Learning objectives:
> Describe and explain the nature of the development of self-esteem during early childhood.
> Explore how adults can foster authentic self-esteem during early childhood.
> Understand the importance of linking the development of authentic self-esteem with a strong moral compass.
Body of the Lecture:
Self-esteem:
Building self-esteem is an active, life-long process. If self-esteem is authentic (positive, healthy, confident, and balanced) it provides a secure foundation for further growth and development. If it is negative it will instill a shaky foundation for development. Children with damaged self-esteem make a negative evaluation for their competence, control, or worth and it can sty with them for a life time.
Moral Identity:
Moral principles used to describe one’s self – it takes shape later in life. It governs two things – what a child thinks is the right thing to do, and why a child should take a specific course of action.
Moral Compass:
Strong, objective to guide behaviour. The best ways to help children develop a strong moral identity are:
- using positive discipline
- setting and maintaining appropriate limits
- requiring children to be self-responsible
- teaching them that some things are wrong
- emphasizing the right of others to respectful treatment
Page 154
Parts of the Self:
Children begin to construct their sense of self during infancy on. There are 4 components that make up self:
1. self-awareness
2. self-concept
3. self-control
4. self-esteem
Examples pg. 155
· Self-awareness – child views self as separate from others and can make things happen
· Self-concept – the knowledge the child acquires about themselves (i.e. physical appearance, abilities, gender, intellect, interpersonal skills)
· Self-control – behaviours that make it possible for children to regulate their impulses, tolerate frustration, and delay immediate gratification (begins at 24 months)
· Self-esteem – child pays attention to all the information gathered about themselves and makes some sort of judgment about the self
Three dimensions of self-esteem are:
· competence
· control
· worth
Competence – an ability to meet demands for achievement (hard work) (feedback should be authentic)
Control – the degree to which a child thinks that he is responsible for how things turn out (their actions affect goal achievement) (Authoritarian or abusive parents exert a great deal of arbitrary or rigid control resulting in the child feeling as if they have no control at all)
Worth – a child’s general sense of their own social value (child will judge self as worthy or not by how well they like themselves or others like them)
Self-esteem develops in a social context. As we discussed earlier all infants are born with a basic temperamental style. An infant’s “self” depends on the child’s characteristics and interactions with others.
SEE Page 161 (Garbage In Garbage Out)
Interactions with others effect the child’s evaluation of self. Young children rely on adult opinions and judgment; adults are viewed as superior wisdom keepers.
Practices that help children develop authentic self-esteem:
· authoritative caregiving
· plan appropriate activities (real topics, projects connected to others)
· express genuine interest in children and their activities
· give meaningful feedback to children (teach them to take credit gracefully/humbling)
· avoid empty praise (constantly saying Good Job!) – focus on appreciating the child’s interests and efforts
· acknowledge pleasant and unpleasant feelings
· demonstrate respect for all family groups and cultures – avoid sexism and judging physical attributes
· teach specific social skills (turn-taking, not interrupting, using words instead of hitting)
Practices that will contribute to unhealthy self-esteem:
· harsh discipline or abuse
· failure to emphasize self-responsibility (i.e. children need to take responsibility for their actions and tasks/expectations need to be outlined to them)
· unhelpful, overly critical or negative communication
· denying unpleasant feelings (i.e. recognize if a child is angry or unhappy)
· ignoring children or the time spent with them is begrudged
· acting in a judgmental, sexist way or showing contempt for some families or cultural groups
In summary:
You should now be able to identify what authentic self-esteem is, in addition to identifying the parts of "self" and how we can assist children in achieving these. This lecture helps us to realize that the environment we set up for the children has a direct effect on their overall behaviour. We should also be able to recognize that the way we speak to children and how we role model for them also has a direct impact on their behaviour. Again authoritative caregiving in an appropriate environment is the key!
Text readings:
Chapter 6
Please read Chapter 7 for next week.
Websites:
For books & games on self-esteem:
www.childswork.com
For articles:
www.parents.com
Learning Activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Test 1 will cover chapters 1 through to 6.
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