LECTURE
DIVERSITY
Introduction:
Everyone has a culture. Culture can be described as the universal human capacity to classify, codify and communicate their experiences. Symbolically this word has been used to define features of human beings. Social anthropologists focus on social interactions, statues and institutions, and cultural anthropologists focus on norms and values. In this lecture we will look at the various meanings culture has when it refers to human behaviour. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture
Diversity refers to multiculturalism or the ideology of including all people into a group regardless of their differences. This lecture will focus on cultural differences and how diversity is extremely important to consider when offering an outstanding early educational experience for children, families and communities.
Learning objectives:
Ø To raise awareness of individuals and groups.
Ø To promote integration and sensitivity to understand and recognize individuals and groups.
Body of the lecture:
Culture can be defined as all the behaviors, ways of life, arts, beliefs and institutions of a population that are passed down from generation to generation. Culture has been called "the way of life for an entire society." As such, it includes codes of manners, dress, language, religion, rituals, norms of behavior such as law and morality, and systems of belief. Various definitions of culture reflect differing theories for understanding, or criteria for evaluating, human activity. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture
Please consider the following questions before you work through the lecture information:
How are families alike? How are families different?
A Kaleidoscope of Lenses
Dealing with diversity in when teaching and guiding children means taking into account the complexity of one individual. Many variables influence children’s behaviour and interact to create a dynamic situation. Picture a kaleidoscope design including the interacting concepts below:
Ability/disability Temperament Family Structure
Work Stress Health
Gender Personality Ethnicity
Religion/Spirituality
Culture
Learning Style Age Neighbourhood
Basis for Understanding Others:
The characteristics of an ethnic or cultural group are an integral part of a person’s social reality. It is their values, perspectives, and their ways of viewing that distinguish cultural groups from one another, not their clothing/foods/tangible aspects of group life.
Cultural learning starts at birth and is largely non-verbal and unconscious. We don’t notice this part of our lives until we find something that is ‘different'. Children simply say aloud what we’ve forgotten or they say what we feel uncomfortable about. This directness about what children see, hear and feel make children’s learning and feelings important for teachers to notice.
Culture determines our values and our values drive the guidance and discipline was deliver. We must address culture openly in order to be effective with children and parents. If you take culture into consideration you will avoid putting children in the stressful situations where they might have to compartmentalize their two worlds (home & school) because they are “different” from everyone else
We must be very careful about making generalizations about families from their structure or culture. Simply knowing someone’s race/family structure/religion/neighbourhood doesn’t tell us everything we need to know. For example, not every single (divorced/widowed) parent will have troubled relationships with their children and in turn, their children aren’t deficient emotionally because of learning difficulties. Overgeneralizing will result in making some very serious mistakes about people.
Children develop a self-identity based on their:
Ø Gender
Ø Race
Ø abilities
Children’s self-identities and self-esteem are affected by:
Ø Their observations of how others relate to them, their families, and other members of their racial/cultural group
Ø Their perceptions of themselves
Children are more alike than they are different because they:
Ø Grow and develop in the same sequence (although the rate varies from child to child)
Ø Have needs, feelings, interests, likes/dislikes, etc.
Ø Have individual characteristics, personalities, strengths and weaknesses
Ø Are children
Teachers must:
Ø Be aware of their own attitudes, beliefs, and biases
Ø Learn cultural norms/habits of families in their programs
Ø Work with parents to promote an atmosphere of acceptance
Ø Enrich their curriculum in all areas
Young children respond to differences by:
Ø Noticing and asking questions
Ø Demonstrating anxiety and fear
Ø Rejecting someone who is different (This may be due to fear, lack of knowledge, impatience, stereotyping, and/or lack of skills for interactions.)
Adults respond by:
Ø Providing accurate information, words and support
Ø Emphasizing similarities among people
Ø Discussing differences in a respectful and positive way
Ø Teaching the words and skills to challenge unfair treatment
Gender identity:
Ø Depends on one’s anatomy, not one’s role
Ø Is an awareness of curiosity about gender and begins around age two years
Ø Preschoolers are still unsure about gender constancy
Ø Societal norms for gender behaviour are a strong influence
Ø Children may believe that they must behave in prescribed ways
Teachers must:
Ø Provide information and models about expanding gender roles
Ø Support children’s personal choices in dress and play
Ø Provide many opportunities for new ways of thinking and acting
Guidelines for responding to children’s questions and comments:
Ø Do not make fun of or reprimand a child when he or she makes comments or asks questions
Ø Do not change the subject
Ø Do not ignore a child’s questions
Ø Respond in a simple and direct manner
Ø Use correct terminology
Ø If you are uncomfortable, identify what gets in the way of your response
We can communicate with parents through:
v Informal daily conversations
v Planned meetings
v Telephone calls
v Individual notes
v Newsletters
v Handouts
v Parent bulletin boards
v Children’s work
v Parent group meetings
v Use interested parents to help involve “hard to reach” parents
v Translate, if required, into all the languages represented in the parent group
Parents can be asked to contribute:
v Family photos
v Written stories about family members or traditions
v Household artifacts
v Reference books
v Picture books
v Tapes/CDs of family favourite songs
v Ask parents to invite children to visit their workplaces
Parents can participate in the classroom by:
v Reading/singing to children in other languages
v Teaching words/phrases in other languages
v Helping the children make poster and signs in their language
v Making a snack/lunch of the family’s favourite foods with the children
v Telling stories about family members and experiences related to their culture
v Helping you find resources for the classroom
In summary:
Teachers and parents must work together to:
establish a genuine dialogue to open up discussion of each other’s points of view and to gain solutions agreeable to both parties
facilitate the development of children through joint parent/teacher problem solving and mutual support
develop and implement curriculum that supports the children’s development and the families goals
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Even more stuff - chapter 13
EDUCATORS' CHALLENGE
↪ The children we teach/classrooms in which we teach do not greatly resemble classrooms in which we learned.
↪ Previously excluded children e.g. due to language, race, economics, abilities, are now included.
↪ What may be unfamiliar to us is now very familiar to children.
↪ The ability to adapt to a diverse group is a challenge:
It requires the ability to communicate across cultures and individual circumstances....exciting to some, frustrating to others (feelings can range from distrust, fear, prejudice...to joy, eagerness, expectation).
↪ We must examine our own values and learn about others' beliefs.
Why?
Children need to know and celebrate their family/cultural heritage, & take pride in who they are.
Children need to experience diverse culture of people they meet, & learn to understand & respect the backgrounds/uniqueness of others.
SELF-AWARENESS
↪ Our self-worth derives from family history & personal experiences... how do these influence our work with children from many backgrounds?
↪ Personal history reflects biases re: how 'others' live, work, & play.
↪ Anti-bias approach helps us confront our beliefs, attitudes & actions that may harm children's self-esteem/self-identity, and may therefore, create future behaviour/discipline problems.
↪ We need to operate from the premise that each child is valued as part of a family system, no matter its origins/definition. We reaffirm a child's sense of security and personal identity within the family. We might do this by learning some cultural norms/habits of children in our program, by working with parents to promote an acceptant atmosphere for handicapped children, & by enriching our curriculum to reflect diversity (vs.) gender stereotypes.
WHO ARE THE FAMILIES I WILL MEET?
↪ With information about & experience with children of diverse racial/ethnic groups, we are better able to deal with issues of guidance with their families.
↪ Culture is like an iceberg...some of it you can see; most of it you cannot see. To find out more, we need to look deeper.
↪ Family-its main functions: protection, communication, provision for self-esteem, learning about social & intimate relationships.
↪ Strategies for finding out about families & their values:
1. Over time, teachers & parents get acquainted; conversations build a trusting relationship; exchange of anecdotes/opinions show what they feel is important.
2. Teacher & parent find something they disagree about; they may be in conflict; discussion re: child's misbehaviour/other negative issue brings natural tension on part of both parties. Most people have difficulty talking through differences, so both parent & teacher may feel uneasy; parents may have heightened feelings of inadequacy re: parenting skills & protectiveness toward their child. Teachers may feel defensive about their techniques, or anger at their inability to 'fix' the problem themselves. If the discussion is also about cultural conflict, the problem may be more emotional & can end with increased tension, without a solution and with a breakdown of trust.
GUIDELINES:
- BE CLEAR
- BE WILLING
- BECOME AN EFFECTIVE CROSS-COMMUNICATOR
- BE A PROBLEM-SOLVER
- COMMIT YOURSELF TO BECOMING EDUCATED
- BE A CRITICAL THINKER
GENDER ISSUES
↪ Gender differences do not appear all at once-only a few during infancy & toddlerhood (levels of excitement, intensity of emotion). By 18 months, girls' outbursts are decreasing, they seem calmer than boys, but boys' intensity & excitement do not 'drop-off'. Some stereotypical toy preference is also seen.
↪ During preschool, there are marked differences in what children play with & where they play, as well as, how preschoolers relate to each other. More 'rough & tumble' play by boys/girls tend to be more polite & helpful, & less aggressive than boys. "When faced with potential conflicts, girls tend to preserve existing harmony by compromise & avoidance, while boys are more likely to confront them 'head-on'. Boys get their way by physical means; girls are more likely to use verb manipulation...while boys may demand & order others. Differential response to teachers: girls tend to respond to either sex, boys are less responsive to teachers & ignore feedback from girls; girls often become passive in boys' presence, boys tend to interrupt girls...extends into middle childhood.
↪ As children advance into elementary school, gender differences continue; additional differences emerge: emotional differences persist; girls are willing to express fears, but when boys express emotions intensely. Boys are angry more often; girls are more likely to see themselves ad 'sad'. Boys continue to be more assertive, aggressive, concerned with dominance; girls tend to avoid conflicts. Boys exercise dominant role in mixed-sex groups, initiate & receive more of the interaction and do more talking. Boys tend to be responsive mostly to other boys; girls seem equally responsive to both sexes.
CHILDREN ARE MORE ALIKE THAN THEY ARE DIFFERENT
↪ Children grow & develop in the same sequence even if not at the same pace.
↪ Children are alike in needs, feelings, interests and expression of frustration, fear, & anger...the means may differ, but the event is the same.
↪ Recognize individual personality/characteristics of each child/assess each child's skills...have a full picture of each child's attributes vs. having the disability become the defining characteristic.
↪ Stress' children with special needs' (i.e. they are children first- the condition follows). Avoid "deaf girl"-it emphasizes the disability - Use "girl who has a hearing impairment". This helps us remember the common elements.
IMPLICATIONS FOR THE CLASSROOM
↪ Behaviour problems may emerge as children gain comfort in a setting, and there are increased demands on them to understand/appreciate others' rights...we must support the self-worth of all children, including those with special needs, in order for them to achieve the same level of behaviours expected by all...
1. Allow children to do as much for themselves as possible (inc. personal care, negotiating the room)
2. Invite others' assistance, but let the child decide how much help s/he wants.
3. Encourage the child to ask for help when needed.
4. Build on the child's strengths & skills.
5. Guard against pity/overprotection/patronizing the child's efforts.
6. Promote activities all can enter into fully.
7. Provide open-ended materials/activities children can explore/manipulate with varying skill levels.
8. Communicate your expectations that all children will learn respect for others' feelings/belongings, obey class rules & learn problem-solving skills.
ADAPTING THE PROGRAM
v SPEAK SLOWLY & CLEARLY
v LEARN SIGN LANGUAGE/OTHER FORMS OF COMMUNICATION TO MATCH THE CHILD'S LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING
v COMMUNICATE NONVERBALLY WITH SOME CHILDREN, USING GESTURES, SIGNS, PRINTING, COMPUTERS
v PROVIDE OUTLETS FOR EXPRESSION SUITABLE FOR VARYING CONDITIONS
v REARRANGE ROOM TO REDUCE OBSTACLES
v LEARN TO ALLOW LONGER FOR CHILDREN TO PROCESS AND RESPOND
v MODEL WAYS FOR CHILDREN ABLED/DISABLED TO INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER
v PROVIDE INCREASED STRUCTURE FOR CHILDREN NEEDING IT
v PROVIDE INCREASED SUPERVISION TO AREAS WHERE NEEDED
v SHOW CHILDREN HOW TO PLAY WITH TOYS/MATERIALS
SPECIAL NEEDS ISSUES
As more children with special needs are enrolled in early childhood programs, it raises questions regarding the nature of discipline & guidance measures.
Children with special needs have many of the same behaviours we see in children without disabilities (tantrums, hitting, refusing to comply, and taking anger out on property). We need to maintain the same limits with ALL children, even if their language/means of communication differ; situations need to be dealt with equitably.
We need to model our belief that all children have the potential for growth.
We should learn new ways to communicate our expectations, & provide follow-through/appropriate consequences in flexible ways, responding to children's needs.
GUIDELINES FOR TEACHERS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS
Never permit exclusion of child because of her or his disability.
Provide supervised opportunities for children to explore and try out equipment used by people with disabilities, including those used by children in your class.
You must first have the child's and parent's permission to do this. Teach children to respect other children's equipment.
Do not deny differences in the physical abilities of people.
Discuss how they are alike and how they are different.
Do not criticize a child for noticing and asking questions about physical differences.
Answer their questions simply and briefly. Tell them what they want to know.
Use accurate terminology, even if the words are long and unfamiliar.
If you do not know the answer, be honest. Involve children in finding the answer with you.
DEALING WITH IMPORTANT/SENSITIVE ISSUES
- Set up a conference to discuss concerns. (This could be at the request of the parents or teachers).
- Share observations and concerns about the child and the behaviours that s/he is exhibiting at home/school (be specific with anecdotal data-it may be necessary to have a meeting beforehand with all staff involved with the child to gather complete and accurate data). Share the reasons for your concerns.
- Ask parents to share observations about child's behaviour and experiences. How have the parents responded? What might be influencing the child's behaviour? Consider the child's home and community environment. Does the child have interaction with people different from him/herself? What are the attitudes of close family, siblings, friends and neighbours? What does the child watch on TV? What books and toys does he have? What stressful situations has he recently encountered?
- Discuss what they think might be causing the child's behaviour and what strategies can be used at home and at school to help the child.
- Discuss the methods you are already using or plan to use at school to work with their child. Find out if these ideas seem inappropriate or unacceptable. If so, find strategies agreeable to everyone.
- Sometimes parents resist, insisting that the child's behaviour comes from other children rather than from home (sometimes teachers do the same-locating the source of the problem only in the child's home and resisting looking at what is or isn't happening at school). Help parents understand that it may not be possible to pinpoint exactly why the problem exists. Efforts must be made both at home and at school.
BASIC GOALS OF ANTI-BIAS CURRICULUM
- TO ACQUIRE A RICH, ACCURATE, NON-STEREOTYPIC "DATA BASE" ABOUT GENDER, RACE, CULTURE, AND PHYSICAL ABILITIES
- TO BECOME FAMILIAR WITH DIFFERENCES IN GENDER ROLES, RACIAL CHARACTERISTICS, LANGUAGES AND PHYSICAL ABILITIES
- TO EXPRESS A "COMFORTABLE & RESPECTFUL" CURIOSITY ABOUT THEIR PHYSICAL AND SOCIAL SELVES AND OTHERS
- TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THEIR OWN AND OTHER'S CHARACTERISTICS
- TO DEVELOP EASE WITH AND RESPECT FOR PHYSICAL DIFFERENCES
- TO BECOME AWARE OF OUR SHARED PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS-WHAT MAKES US ALL HUMAN BEINGS
- TO PARTICIPATE IN AN INCLUSIVE EDUCATIONAL ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH ALL CHILDREN CAN SUCCEED
- TO DEVELOP THE ABILITY TO INTERACT KNOWLEDGEABLY, COMFORTABLY AND FAIRLY WITH PEOPLE WHO DIFFER FROM THEM IN SOME WAY(S)
- TO LEARN HOW TO HANDLE, RESIST AND CHALLENGE NAME CALLING, STEREOTYPIC ATTITUDES AND BARRIERS DIRECTED AGAINST PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT
↪ The children we teach/classrooms in which we teach do not greatly resemble classrooms in which we learned.
↪ Previously excluded children e.g. due to language, race, economics, abilities, are now included.
↪ What may be unfamiliar to us is now very familiar to children.
↪ The ability to adapt to a diverse group is a challenge:
It requires the ability to communicate across cultures and individual circumstances....exciting to some, frustrating to others (feelings can range from distrust, fear, prejudice...to joy, eagerness, expectation).
↪ We must examine our own values and learn about others' beliefs.
Why?
Children need to know and celebrate their family/cultural heritage, & take pride in who they are.
Children need to experience diverse culture of people they meet, & learn to understand & respect the backgrounds/uniqueness of others.
SELF-AWARENESS
↪ Our self-worth derives from family history & personal experiences... how do these influence our work with children from many backgrounds?
↪ Personal history reflects biases re: how 'others' live, work, & play.
↪ Anti-bias approach helps us confront our beliefs, attitudes & actions that may harm children's self-esteem/self-identity, and may therefore, create future behaviour/discipline problems.
↪ We need to operate from the premise that each child is valued as part of a family system, no matter its origins/definition. We reaffirm a child's sense of security and personal identity within the family. We might do this by learning some cultural norms/habits of children in our program, by working with parents to promote an acceptant atmosphere for handicapped children, & by enriching our curriculum to reflect diversity (vs.) gender stereotypes.
WHO ARE THE FAMILIES I WILL MEET?
↪ With information about & experience with children of diverse racial/ethnic groups, we are better able to deal with issues of guidance with their families.
↪ Culture is like an iceberg...some of it you can see; most of it you cannot see. To find out more, we need to look deeper.
↪ Family-its main functions: protection, communication, provision for self-esteem, learning about social & intimate relationships.
↪ Strategies for finding out about families & their values:
1. Over time, teachers & parents get acquainted; conversations build a trusting relationship; exchange of anecdotes/opinions show what they feel is important.
2. Teacher & parent find something they disagree about; they may be in conflict; discussion re: child's misbehaviour/other negative issue brings natural tension on part of both parties. Most people have difficulty talking through differences, so both parent & teacher may feel uneasy; parents may have heightened feelings of inadequacy re: parenting skills & protectiveness toward their child. Teachers may feel defensive about their techniques, or anger at their inability to 'fix' the problem themselves. If the discussion is also about cultural conflict, the problem may be more emotional & can end with increased tension, without a solution and with a breakdown of trust.
GUIDELINES:
- BE CLEAR
- BE WILLING
- BECOME AN EFFECTIVE CROSS-COMMUNICATOR
- BE A PROBLEM-SOLVER
- COMMIT YOURSELF TO BECOMING EDUCATED
- BE A CRITICAL THINKER
GENDER ISSUES
↪ Gender differences do not appear all at once-only a few during infancy & toddlerhood (levels of excitement, intensity of emotion). By 18 months, girls' outbursts are decreasing, they seem calmer than boys, but boys' intensity & excitement do not 'drop-off'. Some stereotypical toy preference is also seen.
↪ During preschool, there are marked differences in what children play with & where they play, as well as, how preschoolers relate to each other. More 'rough & tumble' play by boys/girls tend to be more polite & helpful, & less aggressive than boys. "When faced with potential conflicts, girls tend to preserve existing harmony by compromise & avoidance, while boys are more likely to confront them 'head-on'. Boys get their way by physical means; girls are more likely to use verb manipulation...while boys may demand & order others. Differential response to teachers: girls tend to respond to either sex, boys are less responsive to teachers & ignore feedback from girls; girls often become passive in boys' presence, boys tend to interrupt girls...extends into middle childhood.
↪ As children advance into elementary school, gender differences continue; additional differences emerge: emotional differences persist; girls are willing to express fears, but when boys express emotions intensely. Boys are angry more often; girls are more likely to see themselves ad 'sad'. Boys continue to be more assertive, aggressive, concerned with dominance; girls tend to avoid conflicts. Boys exercise dominant role in mixed-sex groups, initiate & receive more of the interaction and do more talking. Boys tend to be responsive mostly to other boys; girls seem equally responsive to both sexes.
CHILDREN ARE MORE ALIKE THAN THEY ARE DIFFERENT
↪ Children grow & develop in the same sequence even if not at the same pace.
↪ Children are alike in needs, feelings, interests and expression of frustration, fear, & anger...the means may differ, but the event is the same.
↪ Recognize individual personality/characteristics of each child/assess each child's skills...have a full picture of each child's attributes vs. having the disability become the defining characteristic.
↪ Stress' children with special needs' (i.e. they are children first- the condition follows). Avoid "deaf girl"-it emphasizes the disability - Use "girl who has a hearing impairment". This helps us remember the common elements.
IMPLICATIONS FOR THE CLASSROOM
↪ Behaviour problems may emerge as children gain comfort in a setting, and there are increased demands on them to understand/appreciate others' rights...we must support the self-worth of all children, including those with special needs, in order for them to achieve the same level of behaviours expected by all...
1. Allow children to do as much for themselves as possible (inc. personal care, negotiating the room)
2. Invite others' assistance, but let the child decide how much help s/he wants.
3. Encourage the child to ask for help when needed.
4. Build on the child's strengths & skills.
5. Guard against pity/overprotection/patronizing the child's efforts.
6. Promote activities all can enter into fully.
7. Provide open-ended materials/activities children can explore/manipulate with varying skill levels.
8. Communicate your expectations that all children will learn respect for others' feelings/belongings, obey class rules & learn problem-solving skills.
ADAPTING THE PROGRAM
v SPEAK SLOWLY & CLEARLY
v LEARN SIGN LANGUAGE/OTHER FORMS OF COMMUNICATION TO MATCH THE CHILD'S LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING
v COMMUNICATE NONVERBALLY WITH SOME CHILDREN, USING GESTURES, SIGNS, PRINTING, COMPUTERS
v PROVIDE OUTLETS FOR EXPRESSION SUITABLE FOR VARYING CONDITIONS
v REARRANGE ROOM TO REDUCE OBSTACLES
v LEARN TO ALLOW LONGER FOR CHILDREN TO PROCESS AND RESPOND
v MODEL WAYS FOR CHILDREN ABLED/DISABLED TO INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER
v PROVIDE INCREASED STRUCTURE FOR CHILDREN NEEDING IT
v PROVIDE INCREASED SUPERVISION TO AREAS WHERE NEEDED
v SHOW CHILDREN HOW TO PLAY WITH TOYS/MATERIALS
SPECIAL NEEDS ISSUES
As more children with special needs are enrolled in early childhood programs, it raises questions regarding the nature of discipline & guidance measures.
Children with special needs have many of the same behaviours we see in children without disabilities (tantrums, hitting, refusing to comply, and taking anger out on property). We need to maintain the same limits with ALL children, even if their language/means of communication differ; situations need to be dealt with equitably.
We need to model our belief that all children have the potential for growth.
We should learn new ways to communicate our expectations, & provide follow-through/appropriate consequences in flexible ways, responding to children's needs.
GUIDELINES FOR TEACHERS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS
Never permit exclusion of child because of her or his disability.
Provide supervised opportunities for children to explore and try out equipment used by people with disabilities, including those used by children in your class.
You must first have the child's and parent's permission to do this. Teach children to respect other children's equipment.
Do not deny differences in the physical abilities of people.
Discuss how they are alike and how they are different.
Do not criticize a child for noticing and asking questions about physical differences.
Answer their questions simply and briefly. Tell them what they want to know.
Use accurate terminology, even if the words are long and unfamiliar.
If you do not know the answer, be honest. Involve children in finding the answer with you.
DEALING WITH IMPORTANT/SENSITIVE ISSUES
- Set up a conference to discuss concerns. (This could be at the request of the parents or teachers).
- Share observations and concerns about the child and the behaviours that s/he is exhibiting at home/school (be specific with anecdotal data-it may be necessary to have a meeting beforehand with all staff involved with the child to gather complete and accurate data). Share the reasons for your concerns.
- Ask parents to share observations about child's behaviour and experiences. How have the parents responded? What might be influencing the child's behaviour? Consider the child's home and community environment. Does the child have interaction with people different from him/herself? What are the attitudes of close family, siblings, friends and neighbours? What does the child watch on TV? What books and toys does he have? What stressful situations has he recently encountered?
- Discuss what they think might be causing the child's behaviour and what strategies can be used at home and at school to help the child.
- Discuss the methods you are already using or plan to use at school to work with their child. Find out if these ideas seem inappropriate or unacceptable. If so, find strategies agreeable to everyone.
- Sometimes parents resist, insisting that the child's behaviour comes from other children rather than from home (sometimes teachers do the same-locating the source of the problem only in the child's home and resisting looking at what is or isn't happening at school). Help parents understand that it may not be possible to pinpoint exactly why the problem exists. Efforts must be made both at home and at school.
BASIC GOALS OF ANTI-BIAS CURRICULUM
- TO ACQUIRE A RICH, ACCURATE, NON-STEREOTYPIC "DATA BASE" ABOUT GENDER, RACE, CULTURE, AND PHYSICAL ABILITIES
- TO BECOME FAMILIAR WITH DIFFERENCES IN GENDER ROLES, RACIAL CHARACTERISTICS, LANGUAGES AND PHYSICAL ABILITIES
- TO EXPRESS A "COMFORTABLE & RESPECTFUL" CURIOSITY ABOUT THEIR PHYSICAL AND SOCIAL SELVES AND OTHERS
- TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THEIR OWN AND OTHER'S CHARACTERISTICS
- TO DEVELOP EASE WITH AND RESPECT FOR PHYSICAL DIFFERENCES
- TO BECOME AWARE OF OUR SHARED PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS-WHAT MAKES US ALL HUMAN BEINGS
- TO PARTICIPATE IN AN INCLUSIVE EDUCATIONAL ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH ALL CHILDREN CAN SUCCEED
- TO DEVELOP THE ABILITY TO INTERACT KNOWLEDGEABLY, COMFORTABLY AND FAIRLY WITH PEOPLE WHO DIFFER FROM THEM IN SOME WAY(S)
- TO LEARN HOW TO HANDLE, RESIST AND CHALLENGE NAME CALLING, STEREOTYPIC ATTITUDES AND BARRIERS DIRECTED AGAINST PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT
More about Chapter 13
The Decision Making Model of Child Guidance:
A guidance plan based on clear thinking and good decision making will allow you to deal effectively with a variety of discipline encounters.
It is more than just common sense, you must do the following:
- Possess specific knowledge about guidance
- Have specific guidance skills
- Respect children and families
Eclectic Approach:
- One strategy does not fit all, select the best fit from several different theories
- Different children, families and scenarios will call for different approaches
Figure 13.1, Pg. 325
4 Steps in the Decision Making Model:
1. Observe
2. Decide
3. Take action
4. Reflect
Figure 13.2, Page 328
Encouragement:
- Inspires
- It imparts courage and confidence
- It fosters and gives support
- It helps a child develop a sense of self-pride and enhances internal motivation
- It means that one or more of the following critical life messages are coming through either by word or by action:
I believe in you
I trust you
I know you can handle this
You are listened to
You are cared for
You are very important to me
How can we encourage children:
- Explore why the child behaves as s/he does
- Use encouragement to build the child’s confidence and feelings of self worth
- Avoid adult behaviours that reinforce faulty perceptions
- Act positively rather than negatively
- Work for improvement, not perfection
- Focus on the effort more than the end result
- Separate the deed from the doer. One may reject the child’s actions without rejecting the child
- Build on the child’s strengths, not weaknesses
- Let the child move and learn at his/her own pace
- View mistakes as valuable parts of the learning process
- Avoid competition
- Encourage independence and self sufficiency
- Show your trust in the child
Modeling:
- Most learning occurs through modeling
- It takes place in a social setting, from a variety of models
- Not all models are imitated
- Children build a prototype of behaviour after observing several models
- They imitate the behaviour only if it matches their prototype (of what the behaviour should be)
Cognitive Factors that will determine whether a child will learn something after observing a behaviour:
Attentional factor-child must be able to discriminate and interpret the even (perceptual skills must be sophisticated enough to enable him/her to pay attention)
Retentional factor-child must be able to retain information about the event (remember); memory must be well enough developed to enable him/her to remember
Reproductive factor-child must be able to reproduce the event (re-enact it); motor skills must be good enough for him/her to reproduce something observed
Motivational factor-child must want to learn the material even if s/he can discriminate, interpret, remember, and reproduce it
Note-developmental level plays a part in learning from models
Effective praise should be:
- Specific
- Descriptive
- Appreciative
- Sincere
- Given as soon as possible after the event
- Reward effort
- Reward small steps toward goal
- More effective when given along with appropriate physical contact of other nonverbal communication
A guidance plan based on clear thinking and good decision making will allow you to deal effectively with a variety of discipline encounters.
It is more than just common sense, you must do the following:
- Possess specific knowledge about guidance
- Have specific guidance skills
- Respect children and families
Eclectic Approach:
- One strategy does not fit all, select the best fit from several different theories
- Different children, families and scenarios will call for different approaches
Figure 13.1, Pg. 325
4 Steps in the Decision Making Model:
1. Observe
2. Decide
3. Take action
4. Reflect
Figure 13.2, Page 328
Encouragement:
- Inspires
- It imparts courage and confidence
- It fosters and gives support
- It helps a child develop a sense of self-pride and enhances internal motivation
- It means that one or more of the following critical life messages are coming through either by word or by action:
I believe in you
I trust you
I know you can handle this
You are listened to
You are cared for
You are very important to me
How can we encourage children:
- Explore why the child behaves as s/he does
- Use encouragement to build the child’s confidence and feelings of self worth
- Avoid adult behaviours that reinforce faulty perceptions
- Act positively rather than negatively
- Work for improvement, not perfection
- Focus on the effort more than the end result
- Separate the deed from the doer. One may reject the child’s actions without rejecting the child
- Build on the child’s strengths, not weaknesses
- Let the child move and learn at his/her own pace
- View mistakes as valuable parts of the learning process
- Avoid competition
- Encourage independence and self sufficiency
- Show your trust in the child
Modeling:
- Most learning occurs through modeling
- It takes place in a social setting, from a variety of models
- Not all models are imitated
- Children build a prototype of behaviour after observing several models
- They imitate the behaviour only if it matches their prototype (of what the behaviour should be)
Cognitive Factors that will determine whether a child will learn something after observing a behaviour:
Attentional factor-child must be able to discriminate and interpret the even (perceptual skills must be sophisticated enough to enable him/her to pay attention)
Retentional factor-child must be able to retain information about the event (remember); memory must be well enough developed to enable him/her to remember
Reproductive factor-child must be able to reproduce the event (re-enact it); motor skills must be good enough for him/her to reproduce something observed
Motivational factor-child must want to learn the material even if s/he can discriminate, interpret, remember, and reproduce it
Note-developmental level plays a part in learning from models
Effective praise should be:
- Specific
- Descriptive
- Appreciative
- Sincere
- Given as soon as possible after the event
- Reward effort
- Reward small steps toward goal
- More effective when given along with appropriate physical contact of other nonverbal communication
Decision Making Model - Chapter 13
Chapter 13
Introduction:
This chapter will focus on the Decision Making Model (DMM) of child guidance. As a professional in the field of early education you will see that you have a choice about how you interact with children. You can make wise and well-reasoned choices that promote success and self-esteem in children. This model was introduced in the first chapter of your textbook and we will now look at it in depth and learn how to put it into practice.
Learning objectives:
> Demonstrate an understanding of the foundations of the DMM.
> Demonstrate an understanding of and practice the steps found in the DMM.
Body of lecture:
The Decision-Making Model of child guidance was introduced in chapter one. It is a tool to use in decision making when faced with a discipline encounter.
Those who use the Decision-Making Model successfully:
have knowledge about child guidance
utilize specific child guidance skills
respect children and families
Understanding how children develop is essential so that adults can clarify their expectations of children. Awareness of culture and family is necessary for adults to have to connect behaviours and development. Adults can implement a variety of DAP child guidance strategies which gives them skills to manage their classroom well. Professionals who respect children and families understand their role and are competent when interacting with children There is no one strategy fits all. An eclectic approach fits with different children and families.
See pg. 325 Figure 13.1
An Eclectic Approach – What does it Mean?
Some children, unfortunately, live under conditions that make it difficult for them to learn appropriate behaviour. Therefore, they may exhibit difficult behaviour. We must remember children are individuals and have differing experiences. The Decision-Making Model is an individualized model that allows you to determine the course of action for a specific child in a certain scenario. It is flexible (or eclectic) because it draws from many ideas about child guidance.
You can use this model for the following:
- everyday discipline encounters
- more difficult issues/behaviours
- need to change the context or setting
- teacher need to examine their own practices
In summary:
This chapter has given us knowledge necessary to understand the DMM (Decision Making Model) for developing appropriate guidance techniques for children. The DMM has 4 critical steps necessary to follow if you want successful outcomes for extinguishing inappropriate behaviours. These steps are:
Observe
Decide
Take action
Reflect
Implementing these steps will benefit the adult and the child when faced with any guidance scenario.
Introduction:
This chapter will focus on the Decision Making Model (DMM) of child guidance. As a professional in the field of early education you will see that you have a choice about how you interact with children. You can make wise and well-reasoned choices that promote success and self-esteem in children. This model was introduced in the first chapter of your textbook and we will now look at it in depth and learn how to put it into practice.
Learning objectives:
> Demonstrate an understanding of the foundations of the DMM.
> Demonstrate an understanding of and practice the steps found in the DMM.
Body of lecture:
The Decision-Making Model of child guidance was introduced in chapter one. It is a tool to use in decision making when faced with a discipline encounter.
Those who use the Decision-Making Model successfully:
have knowledge about child guidance
utilize specific child guidance skills
respect children and families
Understanding how children develop is essential so that adults can clarify their expectations of children. Awareness of culture and family is necessary for adults to have to connect behaviours and development. Adults can implement a variety of DAP child guidance strategies which gives them skills to manage their classroom well. Professionals who respect children and families understand their role and are competent when interacting with children There is no one strategy fits all. An eclectic approach fits with different children and families.
See pg. 325 Figure 13.1
An Eclectic Approach – What does it Mean?
Some children, unfortunately, live under conditions that make it difficult for them to learn appropriate behaviour. Therefore, they may exhibit difficult behaviour. We must remember children are individuals and have differing experiences. The Decision-Making Model is an individualized model that allows you to determine the course of action for a specific child in a certain scenario. It is flexible (or eclectic) because it draws from many ideas about child guidance.
You can use this model for the following:
- everyday discipline encounters
- more difficult issues/behaviours
- need to change the context or setting
- teacher need to examine their own practices
In summary:
This chapter has given us knowledge necessary to understand the DMM (Decision Making Model) for developing appropriate guidance techniques for children. The DMM has 4 critical steps necessary to follow if you want successful outcomes for extinguishing inappropriate behaviours. These steps are:
Observe
Decide
Take action
Reflect
Implementing these steps will benefit the adult and the child when faced with any guidance scenario.
Long thing about a specific theory - chapter 12
SPECIFIC ADLERIAN GUIDANCE PROGRAM
STEP- Systematic Training for Effective Parenting – is a program developed by Don Dinkmeyer and Gary McKay (1976) that is based on Alderian theory.
The STEP program is a small-group discussion method of parent education for child guidance. It is organized around nine STEPs, or nine weekly sessions, with each focusing on a specific aspect of adult-child interaction (Dinkmeyer and McKay, 1976). Each STEP or session is designed to teach a specific Adlerian concept or guidance technique.
STEP 1: Understanding your child’s behavior and misbehavior
STEP 2: Understanding more about your child’s emotions and
yourself as a parent; recognizing the differences between
“good” parents and responsible parents
STEP 3: Learning to use encouragement, instead of praise, to build
your child’s confidence and feelings of self-worth
STEP 4: Improving communication by becoming an effective listener
STEP 5: Communicating your ideas and feelings to your child;
helping the child to explore alternative ways of behaving
STEP 6: Replacing reward and punishment with learning from
consequences
STEP 7: Applying natural and logical consequences to the challenges
of child-training; acting positively, rather than reacting
negatively
STEP 8: Establishing family meetings that encourage democratic
family relationships
STEP 9: Developing confidence and growing as a person, as well as
becoming a more effective parent
BASIC PRINCIPLES IN DEALING WITH CHILDREN
GOLDEN RULE: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” This is the basis of democracy, since it applies equality of individuals.
MUTUAL RESPECT: Based upon the assumption of equality, is the inalienable right of all human beings. No one should take advantage of another – neither adult nor child should be a slave or a tyrant.
ENCOURAGEMENT: Implies faith in the child as he is, not in his potentiality. A child misbehaves only when he is discouraged and believes he cannot succeed by useful means. The child needs encouragement as a paint needs water.
REWARD AND PUNISHMENT ARE OUTDATED: A child soon considers a reward his right and demands a reward for everything. He considers that punishment gives him the right to punish others, and the retaliation of children is usually more effective than the punishment of adults.
NATURAL CONSEQUENCES: Utilizing the reality of the situation rather than personal power can exert the necessary pressure to stimulate proper motivation. Only in moments of real danger is it necessary to protect the child from natural consequences of his disturbing behavior.
ACTION INSTEAD OF WORDS: In times of conflict. Children tend to become “mother-deaf” and act only when raised voices imply some impending action, and then respond only momentarily. Usually the child knows very well what is expected of him. Talking should be restricted to friendly conversations and not used as a disciplinary means.
WITHDRAWAL: Effective counteraction. Withdrawal is not surrender and is most effective when the child demands undue attention or tries to involve one in a power struggle. He gets no satisfaction in being annoying if nobody pays attention.
WITHDRAWAL FROM THE PROVOCATION, NOT FROM THE CHILD: Don’t talk in moments of conflict, but friendly conversation and pleasant contacts are essential. Have fun and play together. The less attention the child gets when he disturbs, the more he needs when he is cooperative.
DON’T INTERFERE IN CHILDREN’S FIGHT: By allowing children to resolve their own conflicts, they learn to get along better together. Many fights are provoked to get the adult involved and by separating the children or acting as judge, we fail for their provocation; thereby stimulating time to fight more.
TAKE TIME FOR TRAINING AND TEACHING: The child essential skills and habits. If a mother does not have time for such training, she will spend more time correcting an untrained child.
NEVER DO FOR A CHILD WHAT HE CAN DO FOR HIMSELF: A “dependant” child is a demanding child. Most adults underestimate the abilities of children. Children become irresponsible only when we fail to give them opportunities to take on responsibility.
UNDERSTANDING THE CHILD’S GOAL: Every action of a child has a purpose. His basic aim is to have his place in the group. A well behaved and well adjusted child has found his way toward social acceptance by conforming with the requirements of the group and by making his own useful contributions to it. The misbehaving child is still trying, in a mistaken way, to gain social status.
THE FOUR GOALS OF A CHILD’S MISBEHAVIOR: The child is usually unaware of his goals. His behavior, though illogical to others, is consistent with his own orientation.
1. - Attention getting...Wants attention and service
2. - Power...Wants to be the boss
3. - Revenge...Wants to hurt us
4. - Display of inadequacy...Wants to be left alone
OUR REACTIONS TO A CHILD’S MISBEHAVIOR PATTERNS:
1. - Feel annoyed...Wants to remind and to coax
2. - Feel provoked...“You can’t get away with this.”
3. - Feel deeply hurt...“I’ll get even!”
4. - Feel despair...“I don’t know what to do!”
FALLACY OF FIRST IMPULSE: By action on our first impulse, we tend to testify the child’s misbehavior patterns, rather than correct them.
MINIMIZE MISTAKES: Making mistakes is human. We must have the courage to be imperfect. Build on strength, not on weakness.
DANGER OF PITY: Feeling sorry for the child, while natural, often adds harm to an already tragic situation and the child may be more harmed by the pity than the actual tragedy. Life’s satisfactions depend on one’s ability to take things in stride. Feeling sorry for someone leads to his self-pity and to the belief that life owes him something.
DON’T BE CONCERNED WITH WHAT OTHERS DO: But accept responsibility for what we can do. By utilizing the full potential of our constructive influence, we do not have to worry about what others may do to the child. Compensation for the mistakes of others is unwise and over-protection may rob the child of his own courage and resourcefulness.
A FAMILY COUNCIL: Gives every member of the family a chance to express himself freely in all matters pertaining to the family as a whole and to participate in the responsibilities each member has for the welfare of the family. It is truly education for democracy and should not become a place for parents to “preach” or impose their will on children, nor should it deteriorate into a “gripe” session. The emphasis should be on “What can we do?”
HAVE FUN TOGETHER: And thereby help develop a relationship based on mutual respect, love and affection, mutual confidence and trust, and feeling of belonging. Playing together, working together, sharing interesting and exciting experiences leads to the kind of closeness which is essential for cooperation.
Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs
HELPING YOUNG CHILDREN ESTABLISH SELF-DISCIPLINE AND SELF-CONTROL
What to do when children continue to misbehave
Since children do not always stoop throwing sand or grabbing tricycles simply because the teacher tells them to or redirects them to another activity, it is necessary to know what to do when a child continues to misbehave. I call the approach I use the six learning steps in discipline: 1) warning the child, 2) removing her, 3) discussing feelings and rules, 4) waiting for her to decide when she is ready to return, 5) helping her return and be more successful, and 6) following through with “losing the privilege” when this is necessary.
1. Warn the child and redirect her if she will accept such redirection. For example, you might warn a youngster that if she continues to throw sand, she will lose the privilege of staying in the sandbox; then suggest a couple of interesting things she could do with the sand instead of throwing it. It is important to make the child understand that her behavior is up to her. It is her choice; but if she chooses to continue, you will see to it that you carry out your warning.
2. If necessary, remove child promptly and keep her with you. Warn only once. If she persists in doing what she has been told not to do, act calmly and promptly. Remove her and insist that she sit beside you, telling her she has lost the privilege of playing in sand. This is much more valuable than just letting her run off. Having her sit beside you interrupt what she wants to do, is a mildly unpleasant consequence of her act, and prevents her substituting another activity she would enjoy more.
3. Take time to describe her feeling in an understanding way but be clear about firmly stating the rule as well as the reason for it. Don’t moralize or rub it in too much. Don’t talk too much.
4. Have the child take the responsibility of deciding when she is ready to return. At step 4 many teachers say something on the order of, “Now you sit here until lunch is ready,” thus shifting the responsibility for the child’s behavior to their own shoulders instead of putting the child in command of herself. It is better to say, “Now, tell me when you can control yourself, and I will let you go back,” or, more specifically, “When you can keep the sand down, tell me, and then you can go back and play.” Some children can actually say they are ready, but others will need help from the teacher who can ask them when they look ready, “Are you ready to go back now?” (Perhaps she nods or just looks ready.) “Good, your eyes tell me you are. What would you like to do for fun there?”
5. Finally, it is important to go with the child and help her be successful when she does go back, so that she has the experience of substituting acceptable for unacceptable behavior. It will probably be necessary to take a few minutes and get her really interested. Be sure to congratulate the child when she has settled down, perhaps saying, “Now, you’re doing the right thing. I’m proud of you!”
6. What to do if the child repeats the behavior. Occasionally the teacher will come across a more glib customer who says hastily when removed from the sandbox, “I’ll be good, I’ll be good!” but then goes right back to throwing sand when she returns. At this point it is necessary to take firmer action. Have her sit beside you until she can think of something acceptable to do, but do not permit her to go back to the sandbox. You might say, “What you did (be explicit) shows me that you haven’t decided to do the right thing; so you’ll have to come and sit with me until you can think of somewhere else to play. You’ve lost the privilege of playing in the sandbox for now.” Then when she decides, go with her and take her to another teacher and tell him about her special need to get started on something productive. Avoid sounding moralistic or “nasty-nice” while explaining the situation to the teacher because this will just prolong bad feelings.
PRAISE
Underlying Characteristics
Focus is on External Control.
Message sent to the child...
“You are worthwhile when you do what I want.”
“You cannot and should not be trusted.”
Possible Results...
Child learns to measure worth by ability to conform; or child rebels.
Underlying Characteristics
Focus is on External Evaluation.
Message sent to the child...
“To be worthwhile you must please me.”
“Please or Perish”.
Possible Results...
Child learns to measure worth on how he/she pleases others.
Learns to fear disapproval.
Underlying Characteristics
Is rewarded only for well done, completed tasks.
Message sent to the child...
“To be worthwhile you must meet my standards.”
Possible Results...
Develops unrealistic standards and learns to measure worth by how closely he/she reaches perfection.
Learns to dread failure.
Underlying Characteristics
Focuses on self evaluation and personal gain.
Message sent to the child...
“You’re the best. You must remain superior to others to be worthwhile.”
Possible Results...
Learns to be over-competitive to get ahead at the expense of others
Feels worthwhile only when “on top”.
ENCOURAGEMENT
Underlying Characteristics
Focus is on child’s ability to manage life constructively.
Message sent to the child...
“I trust you to become responsible and independent.”
Possible Results...
Learns courage to be imperfect, willingness to try, gains self reliance, feels responsible for own behavior.
Underlying Characteristics
Focus is on Internal Evaluation.
Message sent to the child...
“How you feel about yourself and your own efforts is most important.”
Possible Results...
Learns to evaluate own progress and to make own decisions.
Underlying Characteristics
Recognizes effort and improvement.
Message sent to the child...
“You don’t have to be perfect.”
“Effort and Improvement are important."
Possible Results...
Learns to accept efforts of self and others.
Desires to stay with tasks (persistence).
Underlying Characteristics
Focuses on assets, contribution and appreciation.
Message sent to the child...
“Your contributions count. We function better with you. We appreciate what you have done.”
Possible Results...
Learns to use talents and efforts for good of all, not only for personal gain.
Learns to feel glad for successes of others as well as for own successes.
Adlerian Beliefs/ Strategies
1. EQUALITY OF INDIVIDUALS
2. MUTUAL RESPECT
3. AVOID PUNISHMENT/ REWARD
4. ACTION VS. WORDS
5. NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
6. WITHDRAWAL
7. AVOID INTERFERING IN ALL CONFLICTS
8. AVOID DOING FOR CHILD WHAT HE/SHE CAN DO
9. UNDERSTAND CHILD’S GOAL
10. AVOID PITY
11. AVOID CONCERN ABOUT WHAT OTHERS DO
12. USE OF ‘COUNCIL’
The Golden Rule is the basis of democracy-Inalienable right of all.
The child soon considers reward his or her right, demands one for everything ; considers that punishment gives right to punish others (retaliation of children is worse than adult punishment).
Child knows what’s expected, “tunes out” too many words.
Reality of situation vs. adult power (when safe to allow consequences.
Is not surrender! Effective for child demanding undue attention (avoids power struggle, no satisfaction in behavior if no attention).
When children resolve, they learn! Many conflicts are for attention or adult involvement- if we act as judge or separate children: we may stimulate more conflicts.
We may underestimate abilities ; child becomes irresponsible if we fail to give chance to be responsible.
Child has a purpose (a place in group) misbehaving child is still trying for social acceptance.
Often harms situation ; our satisfaction depends on ability to take things in stride – pity leads to self-pity, belief that life “owes me”.
Accept responsibility for what responsibility for what YOU can do ; compensating for others’ mistakes / over-protecting can rob child of courage and resourcefulness.
Group sharing is education for democracy, not a time for adults to ‘preach’ or impose own will on children (home or class)
Emphasize “What can we do?”
ADLERIAN STRATEGIES --- ENCOURAGEMENT
The essence of encouragement is to increase child’s self-confidence, and to convey that he/she is good enough as is, not just as he/she might be. Often, our homes, play/classrooms, communities provide discouraging experiences, and often encouragement is given to those who need it least! The following suggestions apply to all human relationships:
v Avoid discouragement- our inferiority feelings must be overcome if we are to function optimally.
v Work for improvement vs. perfection - this goes for adults too!
v Commend effort- effort is more significant than results.
v Separate the deed from the doer- one may reject actions without rejecting person.
v Build on strengths vs. weaknesses- a misbehaving child has the power to defeat us – give him/her credit for this.
v Show trust- must be sincere, therefore learn to trust child first!
v Avoid viewing mistakes as failures- remove stigma of failure (which usually indicates lack of skill); one’s worth is not dependent on success.
v Failure/defeat only stimulates effort where there’s hope for success- these don’t stimulate a discouraged child who’s lost all hope.
v Stimulate / lead vs. pushing- let person move at own speed.
v Genuine happiness comes from self-sufficiency- children learn to care for themselves.
v Integrate child into group vs. viewing him/her as “special”- This increases over-ambition, and child may switch to “if I can’t be best, I’ll be worst”, or give up altogether.
v Stimulating competition usually doesn’t encourage- if hope of winning: may put more effort, but stressing winning vs. cooperation / contribution is risky (the less competitive one is, the more one can stand competition)
v Praise differs from encouragement- praise may positively affect some, but can discourage /cause anxiety & fear ; some depend on praise and perform only for recognition (more and more). Success with special praise may create “I can never do it that well again” feelings.
v Success is a by-product- preoccupation with obligation to succeed is intimidating and may lead to failure. If we focus on contribution / cooperation: success usually results.
v Help person develop courage to be imperfect- take mistakes in stride/learn from them.
v Provide opportunities to be responsible- not just to ‘responsible’ person, but to a discouraged person – may find it’s worthwhile to cooperate.
v Discouragement is ‘contagious’ – person tends to discourage others around him/her.
v Optimism is ‘contagious’- helps encourage self and others.
WHEN TO USE ACTIVE LISTENING:
Gordon (1970) believes that there are many times when children send us messages saying that all is not right in their world, that something is troubling them. At such times they need adults who can actively listen to these messages.
1. A child who is hurt wants the adult to understand that hurt. For example, Andy fell off tricycle, scratched his knee, cried, and ran to his teacher.
Nonactive listener Active Listener
“Stop crying, Andy. You’re not hurt that “You’ve scraped your knee and
badly.” that probably hurt.”
2. A child who feels anxious, insecure or frightened also needs to have these feelings acknowledged. Jack began to cry when his mother left him at school for the first time.
Nonactive listener Active Listener
“It’s ok, Jack. There really isn’t anything “You don’t like your mom to
to cry about .” leave, and you feel sad without
her.”
“You know that your mother will be back
after school.”
The nonactive listener has denied the child the right to feel a certain way. The teacher who is an active listener has identified and acknowledged Jack’s feelings. She has not denied them.
3. Sometime, a child sends a “coded” message in the form of a seemingly straightforward question. Such a question usually hides certain feelings, and these feelings need attention. Mike, for example, watched a news show about a break in a neighborhood water main and subsequent flooding of a neighborhood street. He saw the deep hole created at one end of the street and heard the report about two children who fell into the hole and had to be rescued. The next day he asked his teacher, “How does it feel to drown?”
Nonactive listener Active listener
“How am I supposed to know?” “It sounds like you might be worried
“You ask the strangest questions! Go about all that water in your
and find something to play with.” neighborhood.”
HOW TO USE ACTIVE LISTENING
(GORDON, 1970)
Active listening requires that an adult listen to a child’s feelings in a non-judgemental way and be able to feed back accurately the feelings to the child.
1. The child listens to the content of the message. The adult also listens carefully and tries to understand what the message means and what the child is feeling.
Charles: “Teacher, Jim and Sam won’t let me play in the water! Make them let me play with the boats.”(Mrs. Morgan realizes that the content of this message is that Charles wants to play in the water. She also understands that Charles is feeling very angry with the other two boys).
2. The adult puts this understanding into her own words and feeds it back to the child for verification.
Mrs. Morgan: “You like playing with the boats, and you are angry because Jim and Sam told you to go away.” (Charles verifies the teacher’s understanding of his feelings.)
Charles: “Yeah, they said that I always splash the water on them when I play.”
3. The adult suspends judgment and avoids preaching, giving advice, or trying to persuade the child to feel differently. She merely feeds back her perception of the child’s feeling.
Mrs. Morgan: “You didn’t know that the others got splashed.”
METHOD OF BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION
STEPS IN ALTERING A CHILD’S ENVIRONMENT
A behavior modifier or therapist follows specific steps in altering a child’s environment (Redd and Sleater, 1978)
STEP 1: Assess the problem. When modifying a behavior it is essential that conditions and events associated with a problem behavior be determined. The goal in this step is to find out exactly what it is in the environment that is reinforcing the problem behavior. This step is accomplished by careful observation of the social environment. For example, an early childhood teacher, Miss Riley, confers with a behavior modification specialist about Steven. She reports Steven’s behavior as disruptive to group activities like snack, walks, music, and story time. The behavior therapist goes to the class and observes. He observes that Steven is indeed disruptive during group times, that is, he makes noise, moves around, stands up, or runs away. He also observes what happens after one of Steven’s outbursts. The teacher, every time Steven disrupts an activity, attends to him in some way. She stops what she is doing, looks at him, or reprimands him. In short, she reinforces Steven’s disruptive behavior, the very behavior she wants to eliminate. The behavior therapist observes that there are lots of times during the day when Steven works quietly with others but that Miss Riley never reinforces him then.
STEP 2: Choose desired (target) behavior. Observe the undesirable behavior of the child and the teacher’s behavior or classroom recommendations on how to alter the environment. This is done by specifying child behaviors (shouting, running away) that need to be changed and making recommendations for changing the environmental conditions fostering these behaviors, (the teacher’s attention-reinforcement).
STEP 3: Determine the reinforcer. The teacher is to reinforce Steven’s more positive behaviors (remaining seated, remaining with the group) but first has to figure out what reinforcers might be valuable to him. Does he like a special snack such as cheese or raisins? The reinforcer must have value to the specific child whose behavior is supposed to be changed.
STEP 4: Specify short-term behavioral goals. Decreasing “disruptive” behavior is too general a goal. The program to change Steven’s behavior is therefore organized into stages, starting with easily attainable goals. It might be too difficult for Steven to have to sit through an entire story before getting reinforced for being quiet. The specialist recommends that Miss Riley or the aide reinforce him with a smile or a word of praise after brief periods during the story.
STEP 5: Monitor constantly. Monitoring requires continued observation. The undesirable behavior should gradually drop out if the program is a good one. If Steven continues to be disruptive, then the behavioral change program might need to be reviewed and refined.
STEPS IN USING THE NO-LOSE METHOD
The teacher decided to try the no-lose method of resolving the conflict of the messy block corner. This method is, essentially, problem solving or negotiation in which both parties participate. The steps in this method follow.
STEP 1. Identify and define the conflict. At group time the teacher brings up the problem. She avoids using accusatory statements.
Mrs. Morgan: “We have a problem. Every day at clean-up time I get angry because the little block toys are not put on the right shelves. They get all mixed up, and I have to spend a lot of time putting them away. What do you think that we can do to fix this problem together?”
STEP 2. Generate possible alternative solutions. Accept a variety of solutions and be non-judgmental.
STEP 3. Evaluate alternative solutions.
STEP 4. Decide on the best possible solution. The group decided that covering the toys might not be the best solution to the problem and that cleaning this one area at group time would not work because the group of children was too large. They agreed that having large buckets for each accessory would be the best solution.
STEP 5. Work out ways of implementing the solution.
Mrs. Morgan: “I think that having the buckets will work, but how will you know which bucket to put the animals and people and cars in so that they don’t get all mixed up in one bucket?”
Tina: “Maybe we could put a picture of the cow on the bucket for the animals.”
Mrs. Morgan: “That’s a good idea, Tina. Somebody could also paste a picture of a person on the bucket for the people. I’ll bring in three big buckets and you can put on the pictures. We can place the buckets on the floor in the block corner.”
STEP 6. Follow up to evaluate how the solution worked. Mrs. Morgan observed the block corner clean-up for a few days and noticed that most of the children put the toys in the appropriate buckets. She discussed this with the group and thanked them for cooperating.
The important thing in this whole process is that Mrs. Morgan did not view this conflict as a power struggle but as a way for the group to work out a solution satisfactory to everyone. The result was a fairly tidy block corner, a teacher whose need for help in cleaning up was met, and a group of children who know that their teacher accepts their feelings and trusts them to develop and carry out solutions to problems.
HOW WE CAN ENCOURAGE CHILDREN?
Encouragement is the most important aspect of child-raising. Dr. Draikurs claims that “A child needs encouragement as a plant needs sun and water.” The essence of encouragement is to increase the child’s confidence in him and to convey to him that he is good enough as he is, not just as he might be.
It is all too common to find that our homes, classrooms and communities provide a series of discouraging experiences to many children and that all too often encouragement is given only to those who need it the least. We suggest that parents, teachers and all who deal with children keep in mind the following suggestions: (these apply in all human relationships).
. Avoid discouragement.
- The feelings of inferiority which all humans experience must be overcome if we are to function optimally.
· Work for improvement, not perfection.
- This goes for adults too!
· Commend Effort
- One’s effort is more significant than one’s results.
· Separate the deed from the doer
- One may reject the child’s actions without rejecting the child.
· Build on strengths, not weaknesses.
- A misbehaving child has the power to defeat the adult. Give him credit for this.
· Show your trust in the child.
- This must be sincere, so one must first learn to trust the child.
· Mistakes should not be viewed as failures.
- We need to take away the stigma of failure.
- Failure usually indicates lack of skill.
- One’s worth is not dependant on success.
· Failure and defeat will only stimulate special effort when there remains the hope to eventual success.
- They do not stimulate a deeply discouraged child who has lost all hopes of succeeding.
· Stimulate and lead the child, but do not try to push him ahead.
- Let him move at his own speed.
· Remember that genuine happiness comes from self-sufficiency.
- Children need to learn to take care of themselves.
· Integrate the child into the group, rather than treat him as “something special.”
- Treating the child as “something special” increases his over-ambition. An over-ambitious child who cannot succeed usually switches to the useless side of life with “private logic”: “If I can’t be the best, I’ll at least be the worst.” Even more serious, he may give up altogether.
· Stimulating competition usually does not encourage children.
- Those who see hope of winning may put forth extra effort, but the stress is on winning rather than on cooperation and contribution. The less competitive one is, the better is one able to stand competition.
· Remember that praise is not the same as encouragement.
- Praise may have encouraging effect on some children, but praise often discourages and causes anxiety and fear. Some come to depend on praise and will perform only for recognition in ever-increasing amounts. Success accompanied by special praise for the result may make the child fear “I can never do it again!”
· Success is a by-product.
- Preoccupation with the obligation to succeed is intimidating and the resulting fear and anxiety often contribute to failure. If one functions with the emphasis on what contribution he may make of how he may cooperate with others, success usually results.
· Help the child develop the courage to be imperfect.
- We all need to learn to make mistakes in stride and to learn from them.
· Don’t give responsibility and significance only to those who are already responsible.
- Giving opportunities to be responsible to a child who is discouraged may make it worthwhile for him to cooperate.
· Solicit the help of other members of the family or members of the group to help a discouraged child find his place in useful ways.
· Remember that discouragement is contagious and that a discouraged child tends to discourage those who work with him.
· Avoid trying to mend one’s own threatened ego by discouraging others or by looking down on them.
· Overcome your own pessimism and develop an optimistic approach to life. Optimism is contagious and helps encourage your child and others.
The Toronto Association of Individual Psychology – Edith A. Dewey
CHILD’S MISTAKEN GOALS
ATTENTION GOAL OF MISBEHAVIOUR
WHAT CHILD IS SAYING
...I ONLY COUNT WHEN I AM BEING NOTICED OR SERVED
HOW PARENT FEELS
...ANNOYED
...WANTS TO REMIND, COAX
...DELIGHTED WITH “GOOD” CHILD
CHILD’S REACTION TO REPRIMAND
...TEMPORARILY STOPS DISTURBING ACTION WHEN GIVEN ATTENTION
...GIVE ATTENTION AT PLEASANT TIMES
SOME CORRECTIVE MEASURES
...IGNORE BEHAVIOR, NOT CHILD
...ANSWER OR DO THE UNEXPECTED
POWER GOAL OF MISBEHAVIOUR
WHAT CHILD IS SAYING
...I ONLY COUNT WHEN I AM DOMINATING, WHEN YOU DO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO
HOW PARENT FEELS
...PROVOKED
...GENERALLY WANTS POWER
...CHALLENGED “I’LL MAKE HIM DO IT.”
...“YOU CAN’T GET AWAY WITH IT.”
CHILD’S REACTION TO REPRIMAND
...INTENSIFIES ACTION WHEN REPRIMANDED
...CHILD WANTS TO WIN, BE BOSS
SOME CORRECTIVE MEASURES
...EXTRICATE SELF
...ACT, NOT TALK
...BE FRIENDLY
...ESTABLISH EQUALITY
...REDIRECT CHILD’S EFFORTS INTO CONSTRUCTIVE CHANNELS
REVENGE GOAL OF MISBEHAVIOUR
WHAT CHILD IS SAYING
...I CAN’T BE LIKED, I DON’T HAVE POWER, BUT I’LL COUNT IF I CAN HURT OTHERS AS I FEEL HURT BY LIFE
HOW PARENT FEELS
...HURT
...MAD
...“HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?”
CHILD’S REACTION TO REPRIMAND
...WANTS TO GET EVEN
...MAKES SELF DISLIKED
SOME CORRECTIVE MEASURES
...EXTRICATE SELF
...WIN CHILD
...MAINTAIN ORDER WITH MINIMUM RESTRAINT
...AVOID RETALIATION
...TAKE TIME AND EFFORT TO HELP CHILD
INADEQUACY GOAL OF MISBEHAVIOR
WHAT CHILD IS SAYING
...I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT SO I WON’T TRY TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL; I AM NO GOOD”
HOW PARENT FEELS
...DESPAIR
...“I GIVE UP”
CHILD’S REACTION TO REPRIMAND
...NO REPRIMAND, THEREFORE, NO REACTION
...FEELS THERE IS NO USE TO TRY
...PASSIVE
SOME CORRECTIVE MEASURES
...ENCOURAGEMENT (MAY TAKE LONG)
...FAITH IN CHILD’S ABILITY
AVOID THAT FIRST IMPULSE: DO THE UNEXPECTED
*Stop and Consider – what does the situation demand?
*Whenever we act on impulse to what a child does, we can be pretty sure that we are merely doing what he wants us to do, although the child himself may not be aware of this.
* Stop to consider what purpose the behavior has, and respond to the needs of the situation rather than to the undue demand for attention; the invitation to a power struggle or retaliation; or proof of helplessness.
* Consequently, children will have to learn a new behavior, new ways of belonging, if old behavior does not get the pay-offs they expect eg. attention; power; retaliation; or helplessness
AVOID GIVING UNDUE ATTENTION
(Mistaken Goals regarding attention-seeking)
**** “My only importance lies in keeping you busy with me. Unless you are busy with me, I don’t belong, I’m not important”.
**** By declining to constantly give attention, children will have to find other means for recognition. Initially, these may be rebellious. Children might need help finding more constructive means.
**** Means of attention-seeking are: 1) “why game”; 2) “good” child;
3) Constant interruptions when busy e.g. working in the kitchen; friends busy.
**** Children do need attention. However, if we find ourselves overly busy with a child when the situation fails to justify it, when we feel annoyed or distressed, we can be assured that the demands are for undue attention.
**** Constantly giving undue attention shows a lack of respect for yourself (your right to have time to do what you want and need to do) and a lack of respect for the child (having the child come to learn other means of being important).
APPROACH:
i) Inform the child that you are busy and cannot give the attention right now.
ii) Set another time for attention and stick to it by declining to acknowledge further attention at the set time.
iii) Give the child alternative behaviors to choose from e.g. “Would you like to play with your toys or would you like to go to your room.”
iv) Acknowledge appropriate behavior e.g. “I’m pleased to see that you played so nicely by yourself
STIMULATE INDEPENDENCE
Never do for a child what he can so for himself.
* Not allowing children to do what they can do for themselves prepares them for an inferior, helpless, passive role in life, depriving them of the opportunity to experience their own strengths and capabilities to develop faith in ability, courage and adequacy, a sense of security and self-sufficiency.
* As soon as a child demonstrates a desire to do things for himself, let him go ahead and try. He may require help, supervision, encouragement and training which we can give.
* Children find pleasure in having things done for them, having a feeling of power in being able to command services. However, they also enjoy their ability to be helpful.
* Parents do not consciously intend to cripple a child’s self-sufficiency.
* Parents must learn to step back, give the child room, deny our assistance, and give our encouragement.
WITHDRAW FROM THE CONFLICT
* Conflict is a result of the relationship between two people. Thus, if one withdraws, the other cannot continue.
* You can only be firm and responsible for what you do, not for others. e.g. Bedtime: Inform the child of bedtime. Ignore child after this appointed time; or firmly and aloofly ready the child for bed and tuck him in, remaining aloof at further interruptions. e.g. “bathroom vacuum” …retreating to the bathroom when inappropriate behavior ensues. e.g.…temper tantrums…ignore and remove self from the scene.
* Inappropriate behavior is usually a demand for attention or a means of setting up a power struggle. Although withdrawing may seem as though the child is having “his way”, by withdrawing, refusing to give attention or to engage in a power struggle, actually the child is not gaining the purpose of his behavior and will need to find an alternate means of belonging.
* Withdrawing from conflict in public is difficult, as our prestige is far more threatened. Training begins in the home. However, if we have the courage to withdraw mentally at least, in public too, the problem should be able to be solved.
COMMUNICATION: NINE STEPS TO LISTENING
Communication begins by listening and indicating that you hear the other person’s feelings and meanings.
Effective listening involves establishing eye contact and a posture which clearly indicates that you are listening.
Avoid nagging, criticizing, threatening, lecturing, probing, ridiculing.
Treat others the way you treat your best friend.
Mutual respect involves accepting the other person’s feelings.
Reflective listening involves hearing feelings and meanings and then stating this so the person feels understood. It provides a mirror for others to see him/her self more clearly.
Learn to give open responses which ignore that accurately state what the other person feels and means.
Avoid closed responses which ignore the feelings, for this relays that we have not heard or understood.
Resist the impulse to impose your solutions.
CLOSED RESPONSE
Denies a right to feelings by demonstrating listener’s unwillingness to accept and understand.
(see #3 above)
OPEN RESPONSE
Acknowledges right to feelings by demonstrating that the listener accepts what he feels as well as what he says. Indicates that the listener understands.
e.g. You seem to be feeling …… (angry, sad, frustrated, etc.)
Opens the door to sharing.
STEP- Systematic Training for Effective Parenting – is a program developed by Don Dinkmeyer and Gary McKay (1976) that is based on Alderian theory.
The STEP program is a small-group discussion method of parent education for child guidance. It is organized around nine STEPs, or nine weekly sessions, with each focusing on a specific aspect of adult-child interaction (Dinkmeyer and McKay, 1976). Each STEP or session is designed to teach a specific Adlerian concept or guidance technique.
STEP 1: Understanding your child’s behavior and misbehavior
STEP 2: Understanding more about your child’s emotions and
yourself as a parent; recognizing the differences between
“good” parents and responsible parents
STEP 3: Learning to use encouragement, instead of praise, to build
your child’s confidence and feelings of self-worth
STEP 4: Improving communication by becoming an effective listener
STEP 5: Communicating your ideas and feelings to your child;
helping the child to explore alternative ways of behaving
STEP 6: Replacing reward and punishment with learning from
consequences
STEP 7: Applying natural and logical consequences to the challenges
of child-training; acting positively, rather than reacting
negatively
STEP 8: Establishing family meetings that encourage democratic
family relationships
STEP 9: Developing confidence and growing as a person, as well as
becoming a more effective parent
BASIC PRINCIPLES IN DEALING WITH CHILDREN
GOLDEN RULE: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” This is the basis of democracy, since it applies equality of individuals.
MUTUAL RESPECT: Based upon the assumption of equality, is the inalienable right of all human beings. No one should take advantage of another – neither adult nor child should be a slave or a tyrant.
ENCOURAGEMENT: Implies faith in the child as he is, not in his potentiality. A child misbehaves only when he is discouraged and believes he cannot succeed by useful means. The child needs encouragement as a paint needs water.
REWARD AND PUNISHMENT ARE OUTDATED: A child soon considers a reward his right and demands a reward for everything. He considers that punishment gives him the right to punish others, and the retaliation of children is usually more effective than the punishment of adults.
NATURAL CONSEQUENCES: Utilizing the reality of the situation rather than personal power can exert the necessary pressure to stimulate proper motivation. Only in moments of real danger is it necessary to protect the child from natural consequences of his disturbing behavior.
ACTION INSTEAD OF WORDS: In times of conflict. Children tend to become “mother-deaf” and act only when raised voices imply some impending action, and then respond only momentarily. Usually the child knows very well what is expected of him. Talking should be restricted to friendly conversations and not used as a disciplinary means.
WITHDRAWAL: Effective counteraction. Withdrawal is not surrender and is most effective when the child demands undue attention or tries to involve one in a power struggle. He gets no satisfaction in being annoying if nobody pays attention.
WITHDRAWAL FROM THE PROVOCATION, NOT FROM THE CHILD: Don’t talk in moments of conflict, but friendly conversation and pleasant contacts are essential. Have fun and play together. The less attention the child gets when he disturbs, the more he needs when he is cooperative.
DON’T INTERFERE IN CHILDREN’S FIGHT: By allowing children to resolve their own conflicts, they learn to get along better together. Many fights are provoked to get the adult involved and by separating the children or acting as judge, we fail for their provocation; thereby stimulating time to fight more.
TAKE TIME FOR TRAINING AND TEACHING: The child essential skills and habits. If a mother does not have time for such training, she will spend more time correcting an untrained child.
NEVER DO FOR A CHILD WHAT HE CAN DO FOR HIMSELF: A “dependant” child is a demanding child. Most adults underestimate the abilities of children. Children become irresponsible only when we fail to give them opportunities to take on responsibility.
UNDERSTANDING THE CHILD’S GOAL: Every action of a child has a purpose. His basic aim is to have his place in the group. A well behaved and well adjusted child has found his way toward social acceptance by conforming with the requirements of the group and by making his own useful contributions to it. The misbehaving child is still trying, in a mistaken way, to gain social status.
THE FOUR GOALS OF A CHILD’S MISBEHAVIOR: The child is usually unaware of his goals. His behavior, though illogical to others, is consistent with his own orientation.
1. - Attention getting...Wants attention and service
2. - Power...Wants to be the boss
3. - Revenge...Wants to hurt us
4. - Display of inadequacy...Wants to be left alone
OUR REACTIONS TO A CHILD’S MISBEHAVIOR PATTERNS:
1. - Feel annoyed...Wants to remind and to coax
2. - Feel provoked...“You can’t get away with this.”
3. - Feel deeply hurt...“I’ll get even!”
4. - Feel despair...“I don’t know what to do!”
FALLACY OF FIRST IMPULSE: By action on our first impulse, we tend to testify the child’s misbehavior patterns, rather than correct them.
MINIMIZE MISTAKES: Making mistakes is human. We must have the courage to be imperfect. Build on strength, not on weakness.
DANGER OF PITY: Feeling sorry for the child, while natural, often adds harm to an already tragic situation and the child may be more harmed by the pity than the actual tragedy. Life’s satisfactions depend on one’s ability to take things in stride. Feeling sorry for someone leads to his self-pity and to the belief that life owes him something.
DON’T BE CONCERNED WITH WHAT OTHERS DO: But accept responsibility for what we can do. By utilizing the full potential of our constructive influence, we do not have to worry about what others may do to the child. Compensation for the mistakes of others is unwise and over-protection may rob the child of his own courage and resourcefulness.
A FAMILY COUNCIL: Gives every member of the family a chance to express himself freely in all matters pertaining to the family as a whole and to participate in the responsibilities each member has for the welfare of the family. It is truly education for democracy and should not become a place for parents to “preach” or impose their will on children, nor should it deteriorate into a “gripe” session. The emphasis should be on “What can we do?”
HAVE FUN TOGETHER: And thereby help develop a relationship based on mutual respect, love and affection, mutual confidence and trust, and feeling of belonging. Playing together, working together, sharing interesting and exciting experiences leads to the kind of closeness which is essential for cooperation.
Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs
HELPING YOUNG CHILDREN ESTABLISH SELF-DISCIPLINE AND SELF-CONTROL
What to do when children continue to misbehave
Since children do not always stoop throwing sand or grabbing tricycles simply because the teacher tells them to or redirects them to another activity, it is necessary to know what to do when a child continues to misbehave. I call the approach I use the six learning steps in discipline: 1) warning the child, 2) removing her, 3) discussing feelings and rules, 4) waiting for her to decide when she is ready to return, 5) helping her return and be more successful, and 6) following through with “losing the privilege” when this is necessary.
1. Warn the child and redirect her if she will accept such redirection. For example, you might warn a youngster that if she continues to throw sand, she will lose the privilege of staying in the sandbox; then suggest a couple of interesting things she could do with the sand instead of throwing it. It is important to make the child understand that her behavior is up to her. It is her choice; but if she chooses to continue, you will see to it that you carry out your warning.
2. If necessary, remove child promptly and keep her with you. Warn only once. If she persists in doing what she has been told not to do, act calmly and promptly. Remove her and insist that she sit beside you, telling her she has lost the privilege of playing in sand. This is much more valuable than just letting her run off. Having her sit beside you interrupt what she wants to do, is a mildly unpleasant consequence of her act, and prevents her substituting another activity she would enjoy more.
3. Take time to describe her feeling in an understanding way but be clear about firmly stating the rule as well as the reason for it. Don’t moralize or rub it in too much. Don’t talk too much.
4. Have the child take the responsibility of deciding when she is ready to return. At step 4 many teachers say something on the order of, “Now you sit here until lunch is ready,” thus shifting the responsibility for the child’s behavior to their own shoulders instead of putting the child in command of herself. It is better to say, “Now, tell me when you can control yourself, and I will let you go back,” or, more specifically, “When you can keep the sand down, tell me, and then you can go back and play.” Some children can actually say they are ready, but others will need help from the teacher who can ask them when they look ready, “Are you ready to go back now?” (Perhaps she nods or just looks ready.) “Good, your eyes tell me you are. What would you like to do for fun there?”
5. Finally, it is important to go with the child and help her be successful when she does go back, so that she has the experience of substituting acceptable for unacceptable behavior. It will probably be necessary to take a few minutes and get her really interested. Be sure to congratulate the child when she has settled down, perhaps saying, “Now, you’re doing the right thing. I’m proud of you!”
6. What to do if the child repeats the behavior. Occasionally the teacher will come across a more glib customer who says hastily when removed from the sandbox, “I’ll be good, I’ll be good!” but then goes right back to throwing sand when she returns. At this point it is necessary to take firmer action. Have her sit beside you until she can think of something acceptable to do, but do not permit her to go back to the sandbox. You might say, “What you did (be explicit) shows me that you haven’t decided to do the right thing; so you’ll have to come and sit with me until you can think of somewhere else to play. You’ve lost the privilege of playing in the sandbox for now.” Then when she decides, go with her and take her to another teacher and tell him about her special need to get started on something productive. Avoid sounding moralistic or “nasty-nice” while explaining the situation to the teacher because this will just prolong bad feelings.
PRAISE
Underlying Characteristics
Focus is on External Control.
Message sent to the child...
“You are worthwhile when you do what I want.”
“You cannot and should not be trusted.”
Possible Results...
Child learns to measure worth by ability to conform; or child rebels.
Underlying Characteristics
Focus is on External Evaluation.
Message sent to the child...
“To be worthwhile you must please me.”
“Please or Perish”.
Possible Results...
Child learns to measure worth on how he/she pleases others.
Learns to fear disapproval.
Underlying Characteristics
Is rewarded only for well done, completed tasks.
Message sent to the child...
“To be worthwhile you must meet my standards.”
Possible Results...
Develops unrealistic standards and learns to measure worth by how closely he/she reaches perfection.
Learns to dread failure.
Underlying Characteristics
Focuses on self evaluation and personal gain.
Message sent to the child...
“You’re the best. You must remain superior to others to be worthwhile.”
Possible Results...
Learns to be over-competitive to get ahead at the expense of others
Feels worthwhile only when “on top”.
ENCOURAGEMENT
Underlying Characteristics
Focus is on child’s ability to manage life constructively.
Message sent to the child...
“I trust you to become responsible and independent.”
Possible Results...
Learns courage to be imperfect, willingness to try, gains self reliance, feels responsible for own behavior.
Underlying Characteristics
Focus is on Internal Evaluation.
Message sent to the child...
“How you feel about yourself and your own efforts is most important.”
Possible Results...
Learns to evaluate own progress and to make own decisions.
Underlying Characteristics
Recognizes effort and improvement.
Message sent to the child...
“You don’t have to be perfect.”
“Effort and Improvement are important."
Possible Results...
Learns to accept efforts of self and others.
Desires to stay with tasks (persistence).
Underlying Characteristics
Focuses on assets, contribution and appreciation.
Message sent to the child...
“Your contributions count. We function better with you. We appreciate what you have done.”
Possible Results...
Learns to use talents and efforts for good of all, not only for personal gain.
Learns to feel glad for successes of others as well as for own successes.
Adlerian Beliefs/ Strategies
1. EQUALITY OF INDIVIDUALS
2. MUTUAL RESPECT
3. AVOID PUNISHMENT/ REWARD
4. ACTION VS. WORDS
5. NATURAL CONSEQUENCES
6. WITHDRAWAL
7. AVOID INTERFERING IN ALL CONFLICTS
8. AVOID DOING FOR CHILD WHAT HE/SHE CAN DO
9. UNDERSTAND CHILD’S GOAL
10. AVOID PITY
11. AVOID CONCERN ABOUT WHAT OTHERS DO
12. USE OF ‘COUNCIL’
The Golden Rule is the basis of democracy-Inalienable right of all.
The child soon considers reward his or her right, demands one for everything ; considers that punishment gives right to punish others (retaliation of children is worse than adult punishment).
Child knows what’s expected, “tunes out” too many words.
Reality of situation vs. adult power (when safe to allow consequences.
Is not surrender! Effective for child demanding undue attention (avoids power struggle, no satisfaction in behavior if no attention).
When children resolve, they learn! Many conflicts are for attention or adult involvement- if we act as judge or separate children: we may stimulate more conflicts.
We may underestimate abilities ; child becomes irresponsible if we fail to give chance to be responsible.
Child has a purpose (a place in group) misbehaving child is still trying for social acceptance.
Often harms situation ; our satisfaction depends on ability to take things in stride – pity leads to self-pity, belief that life “owes me”.
Accept responsibility for what responsibility for what YOU can do ; compensating for others’ mistakes / over-protecting can rob child of courage and resourcefulness.
Group sharing is education for democracy, not a time for adults to ‘preach’ or impose own will on children (home or class)
Emphasize “What can we do?”
ADLERIAN STRATEGIES --- ENCOURAGEMENT
The essence of encouragement is to increase child’s self-confidence, and to convey that he/she is good enough as is, not just as he/she might be. Often, our homes, play/classrooms, communities provide discouraging experiences, and often encouragement is given to those who need it least! The following suggestions apply to all human relationships:
v Avoid discouragement- our inferiority feelings must be overcome if we are to function optimally.
v Work for improvement vs. perfection - this goes for adults too!
v Commend effort- effort is more significant than results.
v Separate the deed from the doer- one may reject actions without rejecting person.
v Build on strengths vs. weaknesses- a misbehaving child has the power to defeat us – give him/her credit for this.
v Show trust- must be sincere, therefore learn to trust child first!
v Avoid viewing mistakes as failures- remove stigma of failure (which usually indicates lack of skill); one’s worth is not dependent on success.
v Failure/defeat only stimulates effort where there’s hope for success- these don’t stimulate a discouraged child who’s lost all hope.
v Stimulate / lead vs. pushing- let person move at own speed.
v Genuine happiness comes from self-sufficiency- children learn to care for themselves.
v Integrate child into group vs. viewing him/her as “special”- This increases over-ambition, and child may switch to “if I can’t be best, I’ll be worst”, or give up altogether.
v Stimulating competition usually doesn’t encourage- if hope of winning: may put more effort, but stressing winning vs. cooperation / contribution is risky (the less competitive one is, the more one can stand competition)
v Praise differs from encouragement- praise may positively affect some, but can discourage /cause anxiety & fear ; some depend on praise and perform only for recognition (more and more). Success with special praise may create “I can never do it that well again” feelings.
v Success is a by-product- preoccupation with obligation to succeed is intimidating and may lead to failure. If we focus on contribution / cooperation: success usually results.
v Help person develop courage to be imperfect- take mistakes in stride/learn from them.
v Provide opportunities to be responsible- not just to ‘responsible’ person, but to a discouraged person – may find it’s worthwhile to cooperate.
v Discouragement is ‘contagious’ – person tends to discourage others around him/her.
v Optimism is ‘contagious’- helps encourage self and others.
WHEN TO USE ACTIVE LISTENING:
Gordon (1970) believes that there are many times when children send us messages saying that all is not right in their world, that something is troubling them. At such times they need adults who can actively listen to these messages.
1. A child who is hurt wants the adult to understand that hurt. For example, Andy fell off tricycle, scratched his knee, cried, and ran to his teacher.
Nonactive listener Active Listener
“Stop crying, Andy. You’re not hurt that “You’ve scraped your knee and
badly.” that probably hurt.”
2. A child who feels anxious, insecure or frightened also needs to have these feelings acknowledged. Jack began to cry when his mother left him at school for the first time.
Nonactive listener Active Listener
“It’s ok, Jack. There really isn’t anything “You don’t like your mom to
to cry about .” leave, and you feel sad without
her.”
“You know that your mother will be back
after school.”
The nonactive listener has denied the child the right to feel a certain way. The teacher who is an active listener has identified and acknowledged Jack’s feelings. She has not denied them.
3. Sometime, a child sends a “coded” message in the form of a seemingly straightforward question. Such a question usually hides certain feelings, and these feelings need attention. Mike, for example, watched a news show about a break in a neighborhood water main and subsequent flooding of a neighborhood street. He saw the deep hole created at one end of the street and heard the report about two children who fell into the hole and had to be rescued. The next day he asked his teacher, “How does it feel to drown?”
Nonactive listener Active listener
“How am I supposed to know?” “It sounds like you might be worried
“You ask the strangest questions! Go about all that water in your
and find something to play with.” neighborhood.”
HOW TO USE ACTIVE LISTENING
(GORDON, 1970)
Active listening requires that an adult listen to a child’s feelings in a non-judgemental way and be able to feed back accurately the feelings to the child.
1. The child listens to the content of the message. The adult also listens carefully and tries to understand what the message means and what the child is feeling.
Charles: “Teacher, Jim and Sam won’t let me play in the water! Make them let me play with the boats.”(Mrs. Morgan realizes that the content of this message is that Charles wants to play in the water. She also understands that Charles is feeling very angry with the other two boys).
2. The adult puts this understanding into her own words and feeds it back to the child for verification.
Mrs. Morgan: “You like playing with the boats, and you are angry because Jim and Sam told you to go away.” (Charles verifies the teacher’s understanding of his feelings.)
Charles: “Yeah, they said that I always splash the water on them when I play.”
3. The adult suspends judgment and avoids preaching, giving advice, or trying to persuade the child to feel differently. She merely feeds back her perception of the child’s feeling.
Mrs. Morgan: “You didn’t know that the others got splashed.”
METHOD OF BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION
STEPS IN ALTERING A CHILD’S ENVIRONMENT
A behavior modifier or therapist follows specific steps in altering a child’s environment (Redd and Sleater, 1978)
STEP 1: Assess the problem. When modifying a behavior it is essential that conditions and events associated with a problem behavior be determined. The goal in this step is to find out exactly what it is in the environment that is reinforcing the problem behavior. This step is accomplished by careful observation of the social environment. For example, an early childhood teacher, Miss Riley, confers with a behavior modification specialist about Steven. She reports Steven’s behavior as disruptive to group activities like snack, walks, music, and story time. The behavior therapist goes to the class and observes. He observes that Steven is indeed disruptive during group times, that is, he makes noise, moves around, stands up, or runs away. He also observes what happens after one of Steven’s outbursts. The teacher, every time Steven disrupts an activity, attends to him in some way. She stops what she is doing, looks at him, or reprimands him. In short, she reinforces Steven’s disruptive behavior, the very behavior she wants to eliminate. The behavior therapist observes that there are lots of times during the day when Steven works quietly with others but that Miss Riley never reinforces him then.
STEP 2: Choose desired (target) behavior. Observe the undesirable behavior of the child and the teacher’s behavior or classroom recommendations on how to alter the environment. This is done by specifying child behaviors (shouting, running away) that need to be changed and making recommendations for changing the environmental conditions fostering these behaviors, (the teacher’s attention-reinforcement).
STEP 3: Determine the reinforcer. The teacher is to reinforce Steven’s more positive behaviors (remaining seated, remaining with the group) but first has to figure out what reinforcers might be valuable to him. Does he like a special snack such as cheese or raisins? The reinforcer must have value to the specific child whose behavior is supposed to be changed.
STEP 4: Specify short-term behavioral goals. Decreasing “disruptive” behavior is too general a goal. The program to change Steven’s behavior is therefore organized into stages, starting with easily attainable goals. It might be too difficult for Steven to have to sit through an entire story before getting reinforced for being quiet. The specialist recommends that Miss Riley or the aide reinforce him with a smile or a word of praise after brief periods during the story.
STEP 5: Monitor constantly. Monitoring requires continued observation. The undesirable behavior should gradually drop out if the program is a good one. If Steven continues to be disruptive, then the behavioral change program might need to be reviewed and refined.
STEPS IN USING THE NO-LOSE METHOD
The teacher decided to try the no-lose method of resolving the conflict of the messy block corner. This method is, essentially, problem solving or negotiation in which both parties participate. The steps in this method follow.
STEP 1. Identify and define the conflict. At group time the teacher brings up the problem. She avoids using accusatory statements.
Mrs. Morgan: “We have a problem. Every day at clean-up time I get angry because the little block toys are not put on the right shelves. They get all mixed up, and I have to spend a lot of time putting them away. What do you think that we can do to fix this problem together?”
STEP 2. Generate possible alternative solutions. Accept a variety of solutions and be non-judgmental.
STEP 3. Evaluate alternative solutions.
STEP 4. Decide on the best possible solution. The group decided that covering the toys might not be the best solution to the problem and that cleaning this one area at group time would not work because the group of children was too large. They agreed that having large buckets for each accessory would be the best solution.
STEP 5. Work out ways of implementing the solution.
Mrs. Morgan: “I think that having the buckets will work, but how will you know which bucket to put the animals and people and cars in so that they don’t get all mixed up in one bucket?”
Tina: “Maybe we could put a picture of the cow on the bucket for the animals.”
Mrs. Morgan: “That’s a good idea, Tina. Somebody could also paste a picture of a person on the bucket for the people. I’ll bring in three big buckets and you can put on the pictures. We can place the buckets on the floor in the block corner.”
STEP 6. Follow up to evaluate how the solution worked. Mrs. Morgan observed the block corner clean-up for a few days and noticed that most of the children put the toys in the appropriate buckets. She discussed this with the group and thanked them for cooperating.
The important thing in this whole process is that Mrs. Morgan did not view this conflict as a power struggle but as a way for the group to work out a solution satisfactory to everyone. The result was a fairly tidy block corner, a teacher whose need for help in cleaning up was met, and a group of children who know that their teacher accepts their feelings and trusts them to develop and carry out solutions to problems.
HOW WE CAN ENCOURAGE CHILDREN?
Encouragement is the most important aspect of child-raising. Dr. Draikurs claims that “A child needs encouragement as a plant needs sun and water.” The essence of encouragement is to increase the child’s confidence in him and to convey to him that he is good enough as he is, not just as he might be.
It is all too common to find that our homes, classrooms and communities provide a series of discouraging experiences to many children and that all too often encouragement is given only to those who need it the least. We suggest that parents, teachers and all who deal with children keep in mind the following suggestions: (these apply in all human relationships).
. Avoid discouragement.
- The feelings of inferiority which all humans experience must be overcome if we are to function optimally.
· Work for improvement, not perfection.
- This goes for adults too!
· Commend Effort
- One’s effort is more significant than one’s results.
· Separate the deed from the doer
- One may reject the child’s actions without rejecting the child.
· Build on strengths, not weaknesses.
- A misbehaving child has the power to defeat the adult. Give him credit for this.
· Show your trust in the child.
- This must be sincere, so one must first learn to trust the child.
· Mistakes should not be viewed as failures.
- We need to take away the stigma of failure.
- Failure usually indicates lack of skill.
- One’s worth is not dependant on success.
· Failure and defeat will only stimulate special effort when there remains the hope to eventual success.
- They do not stimulate a deeply discouraged child who has lost all hopes of succeeding.
· Stimulate and lead the child, but do not try to push him ahead.
- Let him move at his own speed.
· Remember that genuine happiness comes from self-sufficiency.
- Children need to learn to take care of themselves.
· Integrate the child into the group, rather than treat him as “something special.”
- Treating the child as “something special” increases his over-ambition. An over-ambitious child who cannot succeed usually switches to the useless side of life with “private logic”: “If I can’t be the best, I’ll at least be the worst.” Even more serious, he may give up altogether.
· Stimulating competition usually does not encourage children.
- Those who see hope of winning may put forth extra effort, but the stress is on winning rather than on cooperation and contribution. The less competitive one is, the better is one able to stand competition.
· Remember that praise is not the same as encouragement.
- Praise may have encouraging effect on some children, but praise often discourages and causes anxiety and fear. Some come to depend on praise and will perform only for recognition in ever-increasing amounts. Success accompanied by special praise for the result may make the child fear “I can never do it again!”
· Success is a by-product.
- Preoccupation with the obligation to succeed is intimidating and the resulting fear and anxiety often contribute to failure. If one functions with the emphasis on what contribution he may make of how he may cooperate with others, success usually results.
· Help the child develop the courage to be imperfect.
- We all need to learn to make mistakes in stride and to learn from them.
· Don’t give responsibility and significance only to those who are already responsible.
- Giving opportunities to be responsible to a child who is discouraged may make it worthwhile for him to cooperate.
· Solicit the help of other members of the family or members of the group to help a discouraged child find his place in useful ways.
· Remember that discouragement is contagious and that a discouraged child tends to discourage those who work with him.
· Avoid trying to mend one’s own threatened ego by discouraging others or by looking down on them.
· Overcome your own pessimism and develop an optimistic approach to life. Optimism is contagious and helps encourage your child and others.
The Toronto Association of Individual Psychology – Edith A. Dewey
CHILD’S MISTAKEN GOALS
ATTENTION GOAL OF MISBEHAVIOUR
WHAT CHILD IS SAYING
...I ONLY COUNT WHEN I AM BEING NOTICED OR SERVED
HOW PARENT FEELS
...ANNOYED
...WANTS TO REMIND, COAX
...DELIGHTED WITH “GOOD” CHILD
CHILD’S REACTION TO REPRIMAND
...TEMPORARILY STOPS DISTURBING ACTION WHEN GIVEN ATTENTION
...GIVE ATTENTION AT PLEASANT TIMES
SOME CORRECTIVE MEASURES
...IGNORE BEHAVIOR, NOT CHILD
...ANSWER OR DO THE UNEXPECTED
POWER GOAL OF MISBEHAVIOUR
WHAT CHILD IS SAYING
...I ONLY COUNT WHEN I AM DOMINATING, WHEN YOU DO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO
HOW PARENT FEELS
...PROVOKED
...GENERALLY WANTS POWER
...CHALLENGED “I’LL MAKE HIM DO IT.”
...“YOU CAN’T GET AWAY WITH IT.”
CHILD’S REACTION TO REPRIMAND
...INTENSIFIES ACTION WHEN REPRIMANDED
...CHILD WANTS TO WIN, BE BOSS
SOME CORRECTIVE MEASURES
...EXTRICATE SELF
...ACT, NOT TALK
...BE FRIENDLY
...ESTABLISH EQUALITY
...REDIRECT CHILD’S EFFORTS INTO CONSTRUCTIVE CHANNELS
REVENGE GOAL OF MISBEHAVIOUR
WHAT CHILD IS SAYING
...I CAN’T BE LIKED, I DON’T HAVE POWER, BUT I’LL COUNT IF I CAN HURT OTHERS AS I FEEL HURT BY LIFE
HOW PARENT FEELS
...HURT
...MAD
...“HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?”
CHILD’S REACTION TO REPRIMAND
...WANTS TO GET EVEN
...MAKES SELF DISLIKED
SOME CORRECTIVE MEASURES
...EXTRICATE SELF
...WIN CHILD
...MAINTAIN ORDER WITH MINIMUM RESTRAINT
...AVOID RETALIATION
...TAKE TIME AND EFFORT TO HELP CHILD
INADEQUACY GOAL OF MISBEHAVIOR
WHAT CHILD IS SAYING
...I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT SO I WON’T TRY TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL; I AM NO GOOD”
HOW PARENT FEELS
...DESPAIR
...“I GIVE UP”
CHILD’S REACTION TO REPRIMAND
...NO REPRIMAND, THEREFORE, NO REACTION
...FEELS THERE IS NO USE TO TRY
...PASSIVE
SOME CORRECTIVE MEASURES
...ENCOURAGEMENT (MAY TAKE LONG)
...FAITH IN CHILD’S ABILITY
AVOID THAT FIRST IMPULSE: DO THE UNEXPECTED
*Stop and Consider – what does the situation demand?
*Whenever we act on impulse to what a child does, we can be pretty sure that we are merely doing what he wants us to do, although the child himself may not be aware of this.
* Stop to consider what purpose the behavior has, and respond to the needs of the situation rather than to the undue demand for attention; the invitation to a power struggle or retaliation; or proof of helplessness.
* Consequently, children will have to learn a new behavior, new ways of belonging, if old behavior does not get the pay-offs they expect eg. attention; power; retaliation; or helplessness
AVOID GIVING UNDUE ATTENTION
(Mistaken Goals regarding attention-seeking)
**** “My only importance lies in keeping you busy with me. Unless you are busy with me, I don’t belong, I’m not important”.
**** By declining to constantly give attention, children will have to find other means for recognition. Initially, these may be rebellious. Children might need help finding more constructive means.
**** Means of attention-seeking are: 1) “why game”; 2) “good” child;
3) Constant interruptions when busy e.g. working in the kitchen; friends busy.
**** Children do need attention. However, if we find ourselves overly busy with a child when the situation fails to justify it, when we feel annoyed or distressed, we can be assured that the demands are for undue attention.
**** Constantly giving undue attention shows a lack of respect for yourself (your right to have time to do what you want and need to do) and a lack of respect for the child (having the child come to learn other means of being important).
APPROACH:
i) Inform the child that you are busy and cannot give the attention right now.
ii) Set another time for attention and stick to it by declining to acknowledge further attention at the set time.
iii) Give the child alternative behaviors to choose from e.g. “Would you like to play with your toys or would you like to go to your room.”
iv) Acknowledge appropriate behavior e.g. “I’m pleased to see that you played so nicely by yourself
STIMULATE INDEPENDENCE
Never do for a child what he can so for himself.
* Not allowing children to do what they can do for themselves prepares them for an inferior, helpless, passive role in life, depriving them of the opportunity to experience their own strengths and capabilities to develop faith in ability, courage and adequacy, a sense of security and self-sufficiency.
* As soon as a child demonstrates a desire to do things for himself, let him go ahead and try. He may require help, supervision, encouragement and training which we can give.
* Children find pleasure in having things done for them, having a feeling of power in being able to command services. However, they also enjoy their ability to be helpful.
* Parents do not consciously intend to cripple a child’s self-sufficiency.
* Parents must learn to step back, give the child room, deny our assistance, and give our encouragement.
WITHDRAW FROM THE CONFLICT
* Conflict is a result of the relationship between two people. Thus, if one withdraws, the other cannot continue.
* You can only be firm and responsible for what you do, not for others. e.g. Bedtime: Inform the child of bedtime. Ignore child after this appointed time; or firmly and aloofly ready the child for bed and tuck him in, remaining aloof at further interruptions. e.g. “bathroom vacuum” …retreating to the bathroom when inappropriate behavior ensues. e.g.…temper tantrums…ignore and remove self from the scene.
* Inappropriate behavior is usually a demand for attention or a means of setting up a power struggle. Although withdrawing may seem as though the child is having “his way”, by withdrawing, refusing to give attention or to engage in a power struggle, actually the child is not gaining the purpose of his behavior and will need to find an alternate means of belonging.
* Withdrawing from conflict in public is difficult, as our prestige is far more threatened. Training begins in the home. However, if we have the courage to withdraw mentally at least, in public too, the problem should be able to be solved.
COMMUNICATION: NINE STEPS TO LISTENING
Communication begins by listening and indicating that you hear the other person’s feelings and meanings.
Effective listening involves establishing eye contact and a posture which clearly indicates that you are listening.
Avoid nagging, criticizing, threatening, lecturing, probing, ridiculing.
Treat others the way you treat your best friend.
Mutual respect involves accepting the other person’s feelings.
Reflective listening involves hearing feelings and meanings and then stating this so the person feels understood. It provides a mirror for others to see him/her self more clearly.
Learn to give open responses which ignore that accurately state what the other person feels and means.
Avoid closed responses which ignore the feelings, for this relays that we have not heard or understood.
Resist the impulse to impose your solutions.
CLOSED RESPONSE
Denies a right to feelings by demonstrating listener’s unwillingness to accept and understand.
(see #3 above)
OPEN RESPONSE
Acknowledges right to feelings by demonstrating that the listener accepts what he feels as well as what he says. Indicates that the listener understands.
e.g. You seem to be feeling …… (angry, sad, frustrated, etc.)
Opens the door to sharing.
Extra stuff on theories - chapter 12
Lev Vygotsky 1896-1933
> Born in Russia the same year as Jean Piaget.
> Influential on both Psychology and Education.
> Vygotsky’s Theory and Child Guidance.
Three Major Ideas:
> Scaffolding
> Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD)
> Teacher-Child Discourse
Scaffolding:
~ A teacher’s changing support as a child develops new competencies or skills.
~ Children are the main construction workers, constructing or building themselves. Adults help children in their construction by serving as guides.
~ Teachers are active agents (working with children) in children’s social development.
~ A discipline encounter is a problem to be solved.
~ Good adult/child relationships are the foundation for DAP guidance and the foundation that scaffolding works best.
~ Better social skills and understanding are the results of good scaffolding.
Zone of Proximal Development:
The space or zone where learning and development takes place. At one end of the ZPD is a child’s current ability, what he understands about a topic. At the other end of the ZPD is what the child can learn or accomplish with the help of an adult.
Practical Guidance Strategies based on Vygotsky’s Theory
Page 299 Figure 12.1
Rogerian Theory
- Carl Rogers was born in the USA in 1902. As an educational psychologist he counseled children and their parents. He was also a teacher.
- Rogerian method of therapy is non directive, the therapist believes you have the answers to the problems inside yourself and their role is to help you uncover those answers.
Rogerian Guidance
Child has the capacity for self direction
Strategies help children:
~ Become aware of pleasant & unpleasant feelings
~ Perceive things more accurately
~ Be less defensive in dealing with problems, people, & experiences
~ Think for themselves
~ Trust their ability to make decisions
~ Accurately assess situations
~ Trust themselves to develop good solutions to problems
Thomas Gordon (Rogerian follower)
Developed a program based on the theory called (PET) Parent Effectiveness Training (TET is for Teachers). To teach effective guidance skills to adults.
3 Rogerian based theories:
> Figure out who owns the problem (child or adult)
> Listen actively if the child owns the problem
> Deliver I message if the adult owns the problem
Major Strategies:
~ Who owns the problem- decide this by looking at whose needs are not being met, who is upset, who can’t do something, who is frustrated.
~ Deliver an I message- give observable data, state the tangible effects, say how you felt, focus on change. (practice pg. 304)
~ Listen actively-use specific communication skills, don’t preach or tell them to feel another way, listen and let them construct their solution. (how to listen actively pg. 305)
~ No-lose method of conflict resolution-encourages child to engage in solving their own problem, helps child understand consequences, make own decisions and live with the consequences of those decisions.
~ Adults accept existence of all kinds of feelings in themselves and in children.
Problems……
...Child owns the problem-use active listening
...Area of no problems-the goal is to REDUCE the number of problems and increase the size of this area
...Adult owns the problem-use I message
Rogerian Concepts
~ Children develop a set of ideas about the “self”
~ Children have the capacity for “self-direction”-the ability to control their own actions
~ One’s perception of his/her own experience is private, subjective and personal (known only to him/herself)
~ Goal is to help children reach full potential
~ Goal is to help children become “fully functioning” persons
~ All children need unconditional positive regard
A “fully functioning” person is:
> Open to all experiences
> Is “tuned in” to feelings and accepts all of them, positive and negative
> Lives fully in each moment
> Is realistic, not defensive
> Trusts her/his own judgement
Adlerian Theory
- Alfred Adler was born in Vienna in 1870 around the same time as Sigmund Freud. Adler attended medical school and had an interest in psychiatry.
- He believed that each person was a social being. Maintaining that a person’s social environment and interactions heavily influenced personality development.
- People consciously and actively direct and create their own growth.
Major Principles of Adlerian Theory:
- Humans strive for psychological strength- a core set of ideas about how to understand, predict and have control over their experiences.
- This set of ideas is established by age 4-5.
- Humans also develop different levels of social interest. This is their sense of being a part of a group and of understanding how they fit into the functioning of that group.
The level of social interest is influenced by:
~ The child’s degree of self-esteem
~ The child’s family
~ The way the child interprets what s/he must do to belong to the group
Adlerian Concepts:
~ Each child has a characteristic way of dealing with the world
~ Children interpret rules for group membership
~ Some children interpret their world accurately, some inaccurately
~ A child’s behaviour, or misbehaviour, is based on this interpretation
~ We must understand a child’s goal in misbehaving before we can help him
Goals of Misbehaviour:
- The child may interpret those rules accurately and achieve a sense of belonging to the group by cooperating and making useful contributions.
- Other children may have a faulty perception of how to fit into the group and use inappropriate approaches to gain a place in it.
These approaches are known as “the goals of misbehaviour”. They include:
> To be “centre of attention”
> To demonstrate power over others
> To get even by hurting others
> To act in an incompetent way so others won’t expect much from him/her
> Born in Russia the same year as Jean Piaget.
> Influential on both Psychology and Education.
> Vygotsky’s Theory and Child Guidance.
Three Major Ideas:
> Scaffolding
> Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD)
> Teacher-Child Discourse
Scaffolding:
~ A teacher’s changing support as a child develops new competencies or skills.
~ Children are the main construction workers, constructing or building themselves. Adults help children in their construction by serving as guides.
~ Teachers are active agents (working with children) in children’s social development.
~ A discipline encounter is a problem to be solved.
~ Good adult/child relationships are the foundation for DAP guidance and the foundation that scaffolding works best.
~ Better social skills and understanding are the results of good scaffolding.
Zone of Proximal Development:
The space or zone where learning and development takes place. At one end of the ZPD is a child’s current ability, what he understands about a topic. At the other end of the ZPD is what the child can learn or accomplish with the help of an adult.
Practical Guidance Strategies based on Vygotsky’s Theory
Page 299 Figure 12.1
Rogerian Theory
- Carl Rogers was born in the USA in 1902. As an educational psychologist he counseled children and their parents. He was also a teacher.
- Rogerian method of therapy is non directive, the therapist believes you have the answers to the problems inside yourself and their role is to help you uncover those answers.
Rogerian Guidance
Child has the capacity for self direction
Strategies help children:
~ Become aware of pleasant & unpleasant feelings
~ Perceive things more accurately
~ Be less defensive in dealing with problems, people, & experiences
~ Think for themselves
~ Trust their ability to make decisions
~ Accurately assess situations
~ Trust themselves to develop good solutions to problems
Thomas Gordon (Rogerian follower)
Developed a program based on the theory called (PET) Parent Effectiveness Training (TET is for Teachers). To teach effective guidance skills to adults.
3 Rogerian based theories:
> Figure out who owns the problem (child or adult)
> Listen actively if the child owns the problem
> Deliver I message if the adult owns the problem
Major Strategies:
~ Who owns the problem- decide this by looking at whose needs are not being met, who is upset, who can’t do something, who is frustrated.
~ Deliver an I message- give observable data, state the tangible effects, say how you felt, focus on change. (practice pg. 304)
~ Listen actively-use specific communication skills, don’t preach or tell them to feel another way, listen and let them construct their solution. (how to listen actively pg. 305)
~ No-lose method of conflict resolution-encourages child to engage in solving their own problem, helps child understand consequences, make own decisions and live with the consequences of those decisions.
~ Adults accept existence of all kinds of feelings in themselves and in children.
Problems……
...Child owns the problem-use active listening
...Area of no problems-the goal is to REDUCE the number of problems and increase the size of this area
...Adult owns the problem-use I message
Rogerian Concepts
~ Children develop a set of ideas about the “self”
~ Children have the capacity for “self-direction”-the ability to control their own actions
~ One’s perception of his/her own experience is private, subjective and personal (known only to him/herself)
~ Goal is to help children reach full potential
~ Goal is to help children become “fully functioning” persons
~ All children need unconditional positive regard
A “fully functioning” person is:
> Open to all experiences
> Is “tuned in” to feelings and accepts all of them, positive and negative
> Lives fully in each moment
> Is realistic, not defensive
> Trusts her/his own judgement
Adlerian Theory
- Alfred Adler was born in Vienna in 1870 around the same time as Sigmund Freud. Adler attended medical school and had an interest in psychiatry.
- He believed that each person was a social being. Maintaining that a person’s social environment and interactions heavily influenced personality development.
- People consciously and actively direct and create their own growth.
Major Principles of Adlerian Theory:
- Humans strive for psychological strength- a core set of ideas about how to understand, predict and have control over their experiences.
- This set of ideas is established by age 4-5.
- Humans also develop different levels of social interest. This is their sense of being a part of a group and of understanding how they fit into the functioning of that group.
The level of social interest is influenced by:
~ The child’s degree of self-esteem
~ The child’s family
~ The way the child interprets what s/he must do to belong to the group
Adlerian Concepts:
~ Each child has a characteristic way of dealing with the world
~ Children interpret rules for group membership
~ Some children interpret their world accurately, some inaccurately
~ A child’s behaviour, or misbehaviour, is based on this interpretation
~ We must understand a child’s goal in misbehaving before we can help him
Goals of Misbehaviour:
- The child may interpret those rules accurately and achieve a sense of belonging to the group by cooperating and making useful contributions.
- Other children may have a faulty perception of how to fit into the group and use inappropriate approaches to gain a place in it.
These approaches are known as “the goals of misbehaviour”. They include:
> To be “centre of attention”
> To demonstrate power over others
> To get even by hurting others
> To act in an incompetent way so others won’t expect much from him/her
Theories - Chapter 12
Chapter 12
Introduction:
It is important to understand that specific guidance strategies are theory based. Understanding a variety of theories and the strategies that have evolved from them gives teachers a secure starting point for devising developmentally appropriate child guidance strategies. You will read about three theories in this chapter from Vygotsky, Rogers, and Adler because they give us a good starting base at understanding and implementing positive guidance strategies for young children.
Learning objectives:
- Demonstrate an understanding of the major principles of the Vygotsky, Rogerian, and Adlerian models.
- Demonstrate an understanding of how an authoritative caregiver could choose any of the three models or even choose strategies from all three models.
- Describe major child guidance strategies used in each model and summarize the stance that each theory takes on the issue of punishment.
Body of the lecture:
Although Vygotsky’s life was short (he died at 37 years of age), he made a major contribution to child development theories.
Vygotsky’s theory ,as discussed in our textbook, focuses on three concepts:
1) scaffolding
2) zone of proximal development
3) adult/child dialogue or discourse
Scaffolding is a strategy where a teacher will change support as the child develops a new skill or competency. You can think of it as tiers or platforms one builds upon or adds to in order to reach higher levels of achievement. The child basically constructing themselves with each new skill they learn. Adults support and guide children’s learning. For example, a child who has a supportive social environment can forge ahead and build strong social competencies.
In child guidance, the teacher’s support changes during a discipline encounter. For example, the adult can assist the child through the process as the child is gaining new skills. The adult does this by offering suggestions and guidance that will, in essence, teach the child. The adult can reduce the amount of direct instruction when the child has developed a particular set of skills. This will help the child be self-controlled and autonomous.
Good scaffolding will assume three things:
1) Teachers/adults are active agents (intervene when appropriate)
2) Problem solving is the main goal (core to construct good social skills)
3) Good child/teacher or adult relationship (foundation for developmentally appropriate practices)
Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD) is the space where learning and development take place. For example, at one end of the zone is the child’s current ability and at the other end is what the child can learn with adult’s guidance. Any guidance strategy based on Vygotsky’s theory relies heavily on dialogue. Discussion aids in identifying and guiding actions and expectations. This will also foster a child’s private speech which can be described as the inner thoughts about situation, taking responsibility of it and identifying a solution for it.
See pg. 299 – Figure 12.1 which identifies some guidance strategies based on Vygotsky’s theory.
Rogerian Theory
This theory is based on the work of Carl Rogers who was an educational psychologist and teacher. A Rogerian therapist is non directive. They believe that you need to uncover the answers to your problems inside of yourself. Their role is to help you find those answers you seek. In child guidance it is believed that children have the capacity for self-direction and the adult’s role is to support the children’s efforts.
You will notice similarities in Vygotsky’s and Roger’s theories. Both state that:
children can develop or construct their own abilities and
they need competent, warm adults to support them
Rogerian based guidance is positive and helpful to the child. It allows the child to:
· be aware of feelings (positive and negative)
· perceive things accurately
· think for himself
· trust own ability to make decisions and problem solve
· accurately assess situations
Among Roger’s followers is Thomas Gordon. Thomas Gordon developed programs of child guidance called P.E.T. (Parent Effectiveness Training) and T.E.T. (Teacher Effectiveness Training). These programs were to teach adults specific guidance skills, and are the same skills used by professional Rogerian counselors.
Three strategies Thomas Gordon subscribed to are as follows:
Determine who owns the problem. Child or adult? (For example, ask who is upset, frustrated or cannot do something? Whose needs are prevented?)
Listen actively when a child owns a problem. (For example, ask “You seem to have a problem. Do you need help?) Allow the child to express themselves and feel safe and respected.
See pg. 305 Figure 12.4 – "How to Listen Actively"
Deliver an I-message when the adult owns the problem. An appropriate I-message is not accusatory. (For example, if the adult is frustrated due a child's behaviour do not accuse the child of misbehaving tell the child that you are feeling upset due to the behaviour. You can say, "Tommy, I get frustrated when I see you throwing beads all over the floor." Do not say, "Tommy you are bad for throwing those beads all over the floor!")
Four elements to good I-messages are:
- give observable data (see, touch, heard, smelt)
- state the tangible effects
- say how you felt
- focus on change
To practice you can complete the exercise on page 304 Figure 12.3
Adlerian Theory
Alfred Adler was born in Vienna. He attended medical school and developed an interest in psychiatry. Adler believed that each person is primarily a social being. He maintained that a person’s social environment and interactions were heavily influenced by personality development. His view was that people actively and consciously direct and create their own growth.
Adlerians believe that children play a large role in their own development and how they interpret and perceive their experiences is essential. Social beings need group memberships. Children fit into a group by adhering to their concept of rules for membership. Children can achieve a sense of belonging to a group through cooperating and contributing. In order to achieve that sense of belonging they must make accurate interpretations of the rules of group membership. If children have a pattern of misbehaving and not cooperating it is most likely due to inaccurate interpretation of events and people’s intentions. These children are ineffective in joining a group.
Having a mistaken goal of how to be a group member can be interpreted as:
· striving for undue attention
· seeking power over others
· hurting others through revenge
· displaying incompetence
STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) is a method used to teach Adlerian concepts and strategies to parents. Attention seeking behaviours are demands for undue attention. Getting the attention of others can be a mistaken goal for a child. Adults are typically annoyed or frustrated by a child’s attention seeking behaviour and they may respond to that child by giving in to or scolding the child. This clearly does not help the child. An adult can assist the child by changing how they react to demands for undue attention.
For example adults can try to:
- ignore inappropriate behaviours
- give attention to child when they exhibit appropriate behaviours
- encourage perspective taking
- acknowledge child’s bids for help
Struggling for power happens when the child has poor self-esteem and thinks that they don’t have control over things. Actively rebellious children will have tantrums, argue excessively, or be disobedient. Passive attempts for power can be seen through stubbornness, forgetfulness, or laziness. Adults usually feel angry or threatened with this power seeking child. Some adults will resort to punitive, hurtful strategies or engage in a power struggle, this will make the behaviour stronger. Adult reactions will determine if the child continues the behaviour. Children don’t need adults as sparring partners.
Adults should:
- resist the impulse to fight/argue with the child
- decide to respond differently
- decline the child’s invitation to fight/argue
- help the child by thinking through what the child needs
Children who try to get revenge exhibit hostile aggression. They feel hurt and angry and they want to get even. Children will expend a lot of energy convincing people that they are not likable. People generally feel hurt after an attack and will either retaliate or withdraw from the child. Instead the adult should resist by backing away, not retaliating and not taking the attack personally. Remember the child has poor self-esteem and needs help.
Displaying inadequacy or incompetence will occur when a child feels discouraged or believe that they are a failure. These children typically want to be left alone and hope to discourage others from expecting too much from them. This learned helplessness can be frustrating for an adult.
Adults will generally tend complete tasks for these children or point out the children’s errors and this will only amplify the problem.
The adult should be aware of child development and expect the child to complete tasks according to their developmental level. The adult should also instill confidence and problem solving skills in the child.
In summary:
An adult's beliefs have great influence on his or her actions. It is important to recognize your own beliefs about punishment and child rearing. If you take into account the various theories we have looked at you will be able to use the information to assist children who cannot help themselves when it comes to behaving appropriately. You have learned there are various skills that we can help children build and build upon in order to behave and feel successful.
CHAPTER 11
Introduction:
In this chapter we will discuss challenging behaviours. We will look at what the roots are for challenging behaviours and how we can minimize any 'hot spots' in our classrooms. We will also look further into why some behaviours are challenging for some of us but not for others.
Learning objectives:
> List, describe and explain the roots of a challenging behaviour.
> Explain why a challenging behaviour is in the eye of the beholder.
> Demonstrate an understanding of why challenging behaviours are hot spots in the classroom.
> Develop coping skills for children who are being teased.
Body of the lecture:
Your personal perspective determines which behaviours you will view and label as challenging.
Challenging behaviour can be classified as a behaviour that challenges the teacher's ability to guide the child.
Listen to the Voice of the Challenging Behaviour. It will tell you what the child needs.
Hot spots are times when a teacher might feel less confident, anxious or impatient with a behaviour that is occurring. The teacher may question his own methods of guidance because a typical guidance strategy, such as limit setting, might not be working.
Authoritative teachers are warm and understand child development. They use their knowledge regarding child development when guiding children. However, when faced with challenging behaviours that seem to have no resolution in sight, a teacher could feel irritated and then guilty for feeling impatient. Hot spots are also the times when teachers think that their focus has shifted from teaching to crisis intervention.
See Figure 11.1 on pg. 275 as it demonstrates periods of calm and cool times.
See Figure 11.2 on pg. 276 as it shows hot spots of challenging behaviour.
Roots of a challenging behaviour
The voice of a challenging behaviour speaks through children's actions. We can help the children by listening to what they tell us with their actions.
The four main roots of a challenging behaviour are:
developmental characteristics
unmet needs
lack of skills
factors in the classroom
See pg. 278-282 for more information regarding the roots of challenging behaviours.
Developmental characteristics:
↪ Memory, perspective taking, social cognition and brain development are involved in nearly every challenging behaviour.
↪ A child's brain development is in progress throughout childhood and adolescence. This development affects all other areas of development and has special meaning for challenging behaviours. (see Chapter 8 for explanation of development).
Perspective taking:
↪ Young children have difficulty with perspective taking.
↪ Social cognition:
↪ Young children tend to think about one thing at one time. Children will feel and express anger, but they cannot manage anger on their own.
Memory:
↪ Children who have learned an unhelpful way to do something will retain powerful images of that incorrect method.
Unmet needs:
"There is something I really need, will you help me get it?" Think about a child's basic needs: feeling loved and appreciated, safe, secure, physical activity, rest, nutrition, medical care, play, DAP environment, authoritative guidance... with a challenging behaviour consider what does the child need at that moment?
Lack of skills:
"There is something that I don't know how to do, will you teach me?" Some children do not have the skills they need to get along with others or function well. Children must learn how to be successful. Consider teaching the following: humane treatment of animals, obtain attention appropriately, how to join a group, how to make and keep a friend, how to work well with others, how groups function, how to start a project and work to completion.
Factors in the classroom:
"There's something in our classroom that's making it hard for me to do the right thing, will you please help me by changing this?" Teachers need to examine their practices (review, reframe and reflect).
See Figures 11.4 on pg. 282 and 11.5 on pg. 284.
Specific challenging behaviours and using the Decision Making Model of Child Guidance:
Please review pages 283-289 for examples of challenging behaviours and how to utilize the DMM. (Decision Making Model)
In summary:
As an early childhood educator it is a fact that you will be faced with challenging behaviours. It is essential to understand child development and respond to the individual when creating guidance plans and developmentally appropriate practices. Being aware of the child, the environment, and your own practices will ensure effective strategies are implemented. Remember to ask yourself "what is the voice of a challenging behaviour saying"?
Introduction:
It is important to understand that specific guidance strategies are theory based. Understanding a variety of theories and the strategies that have evolved from them gives teachers a secure starting point for devising developmentally appropriate child guidance strategies. You will read about three theories in this chapter from Vygotsky, Rogers, and Adler because they give us a good starting base at understanding and implementing positive guidance strategies for young children.
Learning objectives:
- Demonstrate an understanding of the major principles of the Vygotsky, Rogerian, and Adlerian models.
- Demonstrate an understanding of how an authoritative caregiver could choose any of the three models or even choose strategies from all three models.
- Describe major child guidance strategies used in each model and summarize the stance that each theory takes on the issue of punishment.
Body of the lecture:
Although Vygotsky’s life was short (he died at 37 years of age), he made a major contribution to child development theories.
Vygotsky’s theory ,as discussed in our textbook, focuses on three concepts:
1) scaffolding
2) zone of proximal development
3) adult/child dialogue or discourse
Scaffolding is a strategy where a teacher will change support as the child develops a new skill or competency. You can think of it as tiers or platforms one builds upon or adds to in order to reach higher levels of achievement. The child basically constructing themselves with each new skill they learn. Adults support and guide children’s learning. For example, a child who has a supportive social environment can forge ahead and build strong social competencies.
In child guidance, the teacher’s support changes during a discipline encounter. For example, the adult can assist the child through the process as the child is gaining new skills. The adult does this by offering suggestions and guidance that will, in essence, teach the child. The adult can reduce the amount of direct instruction when the child has developed a particular set of skills. This will help the child be self-controlled and autonomous.
Good scaffolding will assume three things:
1) Teachers/adults are active agents (intervene when appropriate)
2) Problem solving is the main goal (core to construct good social skills)
3) Good child/teacher or adult relationship (foundation for developmentally appropriate practices)
Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD) is the space where learning and development take place. For example, at one end of the zone is the child’s current ability and at the other end is what the child can learn with adult’s guidance. Any guidance strategy based on Vygotsky’s theory relies heavily on dialogue. Discussion aids in identifying and guiding actions and expectations. This will also foster a child’s private speech which can be described as the inner thoughts about situation, taking responsibility of it and identifying a solution for it.
See pg. 299 – Figure 12.1 which identifies some guidance strategies based on Vygotsky’s theory.
Rogerian Theory
This theory is based on the work of Carl Rogers who was an educational psychologist and teacher. A Rogerian therapist is non directive. They believe that you need to uncover the answers to your problems inside of yourself. Their role is to help you find those answers you seek. In child guidance it is believed that children have the capacity for self-direction and the adult’s role is to support the children’s efforts.
You will notice similarities in Vygotsky’s and Roger’s theories. Both state that:
children can develop or construct their own abilities and
they need competent, warm adults to support them
Rogerian based guidance is positive and helpful to the child. It allows the child to:
· be aware of feelings (positive and negative)
· perceive things accurately
· think for himself
· trust own ability to make decisions and problem solve
· accurately assess situations
Among Roger’s followers is Thomas Gordon. Thomas Gordon developed programs of child guidance called P.E.T. (Parent Effectiveness Training) and T.E.T. (Teacher Effectiveness Training). These programs were to teach adults specific guidance skills, and are the same skills used by professional Rogerian counselors.
Three strategies Thomas Gordon subscribed to are as follows:
Determine who owns the problem. Child or adult? (For example, ask who is upset, frustrated or cannot do something? Whose needs are prevented?)
Listen actively when a child owns a problem. (For example, ask “You seem to have a problem. Do you need help?) Allow the child to express themselves and feel safe and respected.
See pg. 305 Figure 12.4 – "How to Listen Actively"
Deliver an I-message when the adult owns the problem. An appropriate I-message is not accusatory. (For example, if the adult is frustrated due a child's behaviour do not accuse the child of misbehaving tell the child that you are feeling upset due to the behaviour. You can say, "Tommy, I get frustrated when I see you throwing beads all over the floor." Do not say, "Tommy you are bad for throwing those beads all over the floor!")
Four elements to good I-messages are:
- give observable data (see, touch, heard, smelt)
- state the tangible effects
- say how you felt
- focus on change
To practice you can complete the exercise on page 304 Figure 12.3
Adlerian Theory
Alfred Adler was born in Vienna. He attended medical school and developed an interest in psychiatry. Adler believed that each person is primarily a social being. He maintained that a person’s social environment and interactions were heavily influenced by personality development. His view was that people actively and consciously direct and create their own growth.
Adlerians believe that children play a large role in their own development and how they interpret and perceive their experiences is essential. Social beings need group memberships. Children fit into a group by adhering to their concept of rules for membership. Children can achieve a sense of belonging to a group through cooperating and contributing. In order to achieve that sense of belonging they must make accurate interpretations of the rules of group membership. If children have a pattern of misbehaving and not cooperating it is most likely due to inaccurate interpretation of events and people’s intentions. These children are ineffective in joining a group.
Having a mistaken goal of how to be a group member can be interpreted as:
· striving for undue attention
· seeking power over others
· hurting others through revenge
· displaying incompetence
STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) is a method used to teach Adlerian concepts and strategies to parents. Attention seeking behaviours are demands for undue attention. Getting the attention of others can be a mistaken goal for a child. Adults are typically annoyed or frustrated by a child’s attention seeking behaviour and they may respond to that child by giving in to or scolding the child. This clearly does not help the child. An adult can assist the child by changing how they react to demands for undue attention.
For example adults can try to:
- ignore inappropriate behaviours
- give attention to child when they exhibit appropriate behaviours
- encourage perspective taking
- acknowledge child’s bids for help
Struggling for power happens when the child has poor self-esteem and thinks that they don’t have control over things. Actively rebellious children will have tantrums, argue excessively, or be disobedient. Passive attempts for power can be seen through stubbornness, forgetfulness, or laziness. Adults usually feel angry or threatened with this power seeking child. Some adults will resort to punitive, hurtful strategies or engage in a power struggle, this will make the behaviour stronger. Adult reactions will determine if the child continues the behaviour. Children don’t need adults as sparring partners.
Adults should:
- resist the impulse to fight/argue with the child
- decide to respond differently
- decline the child’s invitation to fight/argue
- help the child by thinking through what the child needs
Children who try to get revenge exhibit hostile aggression. They feel hurt and angry and they want to get even. Children will expend a lot of energy convincing people that they are not likable. People generally feel hurt after an attack and will either retaliate or withdraw from the child. Instead the adult should resist by backing away, not retaliating and not taking the attack personally. Remember the child has poor self-esteem and needs help.
Displaying inadequacy or incompetence will occur when a child feels discouraged or believe that they are a failure. These children typically want to be left alone and hope to discourage others from expecting too much from them. This learned helplessness can be frustrating for an adult.
Adults will generally tend complete tasks for these children or point out the children’s errors and this will only amplify the problem.
The adult should be aware of child development and expect the child to complete tasks according to their developmental level. The adult should also instill confidence and problem solving skills in the child.
In summary:
An adult's beliefs have great influence on his or her actions. It is important to recognize your own beliefs about punishment and child rearing. If you take into account the various theories we have looked at you will be able to use the information to assist children who cannot help themselves when it comes to behaving appropriately. You have learned there are various skills that we can help children build and build upon in order to behave and feel successful.
CHAPTER 11
Introduction:
In this chapter we will discuss challenging behaviours. We will look at what the roots are for challenging behaviours and how we can minimize any 'hot spots' in our classrooms. We will also look further into why some behaviours are challenging for some of us but not for others.
Learning objectives:
> List, describe and explain the roots of a challenging behaviour.
> Explain why a challenging behaviour is in the eye of the beholder.
> Demonstrate an understanding of why challenging behaviours are hot spots in the classroom.
> Develop coping skills for children who are being teased.
Body of the lecture:
Your personal perspective determines which behaviours you will view and label as challenging.
Challenging behaviour can be classified as a behaviour that challenges the teacher's ability to guide the child.
Listen to the Voice of the Challenging Behaviour. It will tell you what the child needs.
Hot spots are times when a teacher might feel less confident, anxious or impatient with a behaviour that is occurring. The teacher may question his own methods of guidance because a typical guidance strategy, such as limit setting, might not be working.
Authoritative teachers are warm and understand child development. They use their knowledge regarding child development when guiding children. However, when faced with challenging behaviours that seem to have no resolution in sight, a teacher could feel irritated and then guilty for feeling impatient. Hot spots are also the times when teachers think that their focus has shifted from teaching to crisis intervention.
See Figure 11.1 on pg. 275 as it demonstrates periods of calm and cool times.
See Figure 11.2 on pg. 276 as it shows hot spots of challenging behaviour.
Roots of a challenging behaviour
The voice of a challenging behaviour speaks through children's actions. We can help the children by listening to what they tell us with their actions.
The four main roots of a challenging behaviour are:
developmental characteristics
unmet needs
lack of skills
factors in the classroom
See pg. 278-282 for more information regarding the roots of challenging behaviours.
Developmental characteristics:
↪ Memory, perspective taking, social cognition and brain development are involved in nearly every challenging behaviour.
↪ A child's brain development is in progress throughout childhood and adolescence. This development affects all other areas of development and has special meaning for challenging behaviours. (see Chapter 8 for explanation of development).
Perspective taking:
↪ Young children have difficulty with perspective taking.
↪ Social cognition:
↪ Young children tend to think about one thing at one time. Children will feel and express anger, but they cannot manage anger on their own.
Memory:
↪ Children who have learned an unhelpful way to do something will retain powerful images of that incorrect method.
Unmet needs:
"There is something I really need, will you help me get it?" Think about a child's basic needs: feeling loved and appreciated, safe, secure, physical activity, rest, nutrition, medical care, play, DAP environment, authoritative guidance... with a challenging behaviour consider what does the child need at that moment?
Lack of skills:
"There is something that I don't know how to do, will you teach me?" Some children do not have the skills they need to get along with others or function well. Children must learn how to be successful. Consider teaching the following: humane treatment of animals, obtain attention appropriately, how to join a group, how to make and keep a friend, how to work well with others, how groups function, how to start a project and work to completion.
Factors in the classroom:
"There's something in our classroom that's making it hard for me to do the right thing, will you please help me by changing this?" Teachers need to examine their practices (review, reframe and reflect).
See Figures 11.4 on pg. 282 and 11.5 on pg. 284.
Specific challenging behaviours and using the Decision Making Model of Child Guidance:
Please review pages 283-289 for examples of challenging behaviours and how to utilize the DMM. (Decision Making Model)
In summary:
As an early childhood educator it is a fact that you will be faced with challenging behaviours. It is essential to understand child development and respond to the individual when creating guidance plans and developmentally appropriate practices. Being aware of the child, the environment, and your own practices will ensure effective strategies are implemented. Remember to ask yourself "what is the voice of a challenging behaviour saying"?
Challenging Behaviors - Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
Introduction:
In this chapter we will discuss challenging behaviours. We will look at what the roots are for challenging behaviours and how we can minimize any 'hot spots' in our classrooms. We will also look further into why some behaviours are challenging for some of us but not for others.
Learning objectives:
> List, describe and explain the roots of a challenging behaviour.
> Explain why a challenging behaviour is in the eye of the beholder.
> Demonstrate an understanding of why challenging behaviours are hot spots in the classroom.
> Develop coping skills for children who are being teased.
Body of the lecture:
Your personal perspective determines which behaviours you will view and label as challenging.
Challenging behaviour can be classified as a behaviour that challenges the teacher's ability to guide the child.
Listen to the Voice of the Challenging Behaviour. It will tell you what the child needs.
Hot spots are times when a teacher might feel less confident, anxious or impatient with a behaviour that is occurring. The teacher may question his own methods of guidance because a typical guidance strategy, such as limit setting, might not be working.
Authoritative teachers are warm and understand child development. They use their knowledge regarding child development when guiding children. However, when faced with challenging behaviours that seem to have no resolution in sight, a teacher could feel irritated and then guilty for feeling impatient. Hot spots are also the times when teachers think that their focus has shifted from teaching to crisis intervention.
See Figure 11.1 on pg. 275 as it demonstrates periods of calm and cool times.
See Figure 11.2 on pg. 276 as it shows hot spots of challenging behaviour.
Roots of a challenging behaviour
The voice of a challenging behaviour speaks through children's actions. We can help the children by listening to what they tell us with their actions.
The four main roots of a challenging behaviour are:
developmental characteristics
unmet needs
lack of skills
factors in the classroom
See pg. 278-282 for more information regarding the roots of challenging behaviours.
Developmental characteristics:
↪ Memory, perspective taking, social cognition and brain development are involved in nearly every challenging behaviour.
↪ A child's brain development is in progress throughout childhood and adolescence. This development affects all other areas of development and has special meaning for challenging behaviours. (see Chapter 8 for explanation of development).
Perspective taking:
↪ Young children have difficulty with perspective taking.
↪ Social cognition:
↪ Young children tend to think about one thing at one time. Children will feel and express anger, but they cannot manage anger on their own.
Memory:
↪ Children who have learned an unhelpful way to do something will retain powerful images of that incorrect method.
Unmet needs:
"There is something I really need, will you help me get it?" Think about a child's basic needs: feeling loved and appreciated, safe, secure, physical activity, rest, nutrition, medical care, play, DAP environment, authoritative guidance... with a challenging behaviour consider what does the child need at that moment?
Lack of skills:
"There is something that I don't know how to do, will you teach me?" Some children do not have the skills they need to get along with others or function well. Children must learn how to be successful. Consider teaching the following: humane treatment of animals, obtain attention appropriately, how to join a group, how to make and keep a friend, how to work well with others, how groups function, how to start a project and work to completion.
Factors in the classroom:
"There's something in our classroom that's making it hard for me to do the right thing, will you please help me by changing this?" Teachers need to examine their practices (review, reframe and reflect).
See Figures 11.4 on pg. 282 and 11.5 on pg. 284.
Specific challenging behaviours and using the Decision Making Model of Child Guidance:
Please review pages 283-289 for examples of challenging behaviours and how to utilize the DMM. (Decision Making Model)
In summary:
As an early childhood educator it is a fact that you will be faced with challenging behaviours. It is essential to understand child development and respond to the individual when creating guidance plans and developmentally appropriate practices. Being aware of the child, the environment, and your own practices will ensure effective strategies are implemented. Remember to ask yourself "what is the voice of a challenging behaviour saying"?
Introduction:
In this chapter we will discuss challenging behaviours. We will look at what the roots are for challenging behaviours and how we can minimize any 'hot spots' in our classrooms. We will also look further into why some behaviours are challenging for some of us but not for others.
Learning objectives:
> List, describe and explain the roots of a challenging behaviour.
> Explain why a challenging behaviour is in the eye of the beholder.
> Demonstrate an understanding of why challenging behaviours are hot spots in the classroom.
> Develop coping skills for children who are being teased.
Body of the lecture:
Your personal perspective determines which behaviours you will view and label as challenging.
Challenging behaviour can be classified as a behaviour that challenges the teacher's ability to guide the child.
Listen to the Voice of the Challenging Behaviour. It will tell you what the child needs.
Hot spots are times when a teacher might feel less confident, anxious or impatient with a behaviour that is occurring. The teacher may question his own methods of guidance because a typical guidance strategy, such as limit setting, might not be working.
Authoritative teachers are warm and understand child development. They use their knowledge regarding child development when guiding children. However, when faced with challenging behaviours that seem to have no resolution in sight, a teacher could feel irritated and then guilty for feeling impatient. Hot spots are also the times when teachers think that their focus has shifted from teaching to crisis intervention.
See Figure 11.1 on pg. 275 as it demonstrates periods of calm and cool times.
See Figure 11.2 on pg. 276 as it shows hot spots of challenging behaviour.
Roots of a challenging behaviour
The voice of a challenging behaviour speaks through children's actions. We can help the children by listening to what they tell us with their actions.
The four main roots of a challenging behaviour are:
developmental characteristics
unmet needs
lack of skills
factors in the classroom
See pg. 278-282 for more information regarding the roots of challenging behaviours.
Developmental characteristics:
↪ Memory, perspective taking, social cognition and brain development are involved in nearly every challenging behaviour.
↪ A child's brain development is in progress throughout childhood and adolescence. This development affects all other areas of development and has special meaning for challenging behaviours. (see Chapter 8 for explanation of development).
Perspective taking:
↪ Young children have difficulty with perspective taking.
↪ Social cognition:
↪ Young children tend to think about one thing at one time. Children will feel and express anger, but they cannot manage anger on their own.
Memory:
↪ Children who have learned an unhelpful way to do something will retain powerful images of that incorrect method.
Unmet needs:
"There is something I really need, will you help me get it?" Think about a child's basic needs: feeling loved and appreciated, safe, secure, physical activity, rest, nutrition, medical care, play, DAP environment, authoritative guidance... with a challenging behaviour consider what does the child need at that moment?
Lack of skills:
"There is something that I don't know how to do, will you teach me?" Some children do not have the skills they need to get along with others or function well. Children must learn how to be successful. Consider teaching the following: humane treatment of animals, obtain attention appropriately, how to join a group, how to make and keep a friend, how to work well with others, how groups function, how to start a project and work to completion.
Factors in the classroom:
"There's something in our classroom that's making it hard for me to do the right thing, will you please help me by changing this?" Teachers need to examine their practices (review, reframe and reflect).
See Figures 11.4 on pg. 282 and 11.5 on pg. 284.
Specific challenging behaviours and using the Decision Making Model of Child Guidance:
Please review pages 283-289 for examples of challenging behaviours and how to utilize the DMM. (Decision Making Model)
In summary:
As an early childhood educator it is a fact that you will be faced with challenging behaviours. It is essential to understand child development and respond to the individual when creating guidance plans and developmentally appropriate practices. Being aware of the child, the environment, and your own practices will ensure effective strategies are implemented. Remember to ask yourself "what is the voice of a challenging behaviour saying"?
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Pro Social Behaviour
Pro Social Behaviour is behaviour that benefits another person or animal (showing compassion, sharing, helping, cooperating).Figure 10.1, Page 301
Altruism is unselfish, benevolent behaviour (someone shares, helps, cooperates, with no thought about what is “in it” for him or her.
Competencies:
- Cognitive
- Emotional
- Specific Skills
- Children need to be competent in all 3 areas before they can help, cooperate or be generous.
Figure 10.2, Page 257
Adults can help children to become cooperative, helpful and generous
Figure 10.4, Page 261
Page 260, Figure 10.3 Lists some examples of how young children will show pro social behaviour
Altruism is unselfish, benevolent behaviour (someone shares, helps, cooperates, with no thought about what is “in it” for him or her.
Competencies:
- Cognitive
- Emotional
- Specific Skills
- Children need to be competent in all 3 areas before they can help, cooperate or be generous.
Figure 10.2, Page 257
Adults can help children to become cooperative, helpful and generous
Figure 10.4, Page 261
Page 260, Figure 10.3 Lists some examples of how young children will show pro social behaviour
Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
Introduction:
The phrase pro-social behaviour may be new for many of you, however; you may be familiar with some of the behaviours found in this area of social development. This lecture will help you to understand the building blocks of pro-social behaviour and the fact that children are born with the capacity for concern for others. While this is encouraging it is important to realize that this part of the child's personality does not develop automatically. Adults have to carefully nurture pro-social behaviour in children and this lecture will help us understand how this should happen.
This lecture and chapter in your textbook focuses on several practical strategies adults can use to help children become altruistic. These strategies are based on the information covered in the first chapter of the textbook. That chapter dealt with the general purposes of adult influence and this chapter uses that information for developing altruism. Parents and caregivers tend to express great concern regarding crisis-type problems such aggression. This alarm about aggression is justifiable but realizing that one of the best things that can be done to minimize or prevent aggression is to foster pro-social behaviour.
Learning objectives:
> Understand and explain how children develop concern for others.
> Understand and explain the terms directly related to the concept of pro-social behaviour and of altruism.
Body of the lecture:
Pro-social Behaviour – is behaviour that benefits another person or animal. (sharing, helping, cooperating)
Altruism is unselfish behaviour.
See pg. 253 – Figure 10.1 Pro-social Behaviour
All children are capable of sharing and helping, but a variety of factors influence their actual level of pro-social behaviour. Children will more readily exhibit prosocial behaviour if it has been modeled for them.
People will act in a pro-social manner for a variety of reasons:
· genuine concern
· empathy
· sense of responsibility to relieve the other’s distress
· need for social approval
· external pressure
· relieving one’s own feeling of sadness, anger, or guilt
· desire for social interaction
A child needs three competencies for pro-social development:
1. cognitive
2. emotional
3. specific skills
See pg. 257 Figure 10.2
Cognitive competencies include:
· seeing oneself as separate from others
· perspective taking skills
· seeing oneself as being able to make things happen
· possessing language skills
· possessing memory skills
Emotional competencies:
Children must have emotional capability in order to respond to the needs of other. They need to 'decode' (understand) the emotion. This skill develop in infancy and continue to develop throughout childhood. Another emotional competency children must have is empathy. Not all children will develop high levels of empathy.
Skill development:
Children need to know how to help others and this requires specific skills. Young children have a better chance of developing these skills if they experience a secure attachment with their primary caregivers and they have experienced pro-social behaviour.
See pg. 260 Figure 10.3 This figure shows how very young children illustrate prosocial behaviour.
How should we guide children’s prosocial behaviour?
- illustrate developmentally appropriate strategies
- model, be consistent and practice what you preachhelp children develop emotional scripts through interactions with others, reading and the media
- clearly state expectations for prosocial behaviour
- accept children's efforts to help and cooperate
Give children age appropriate responsibilities. (This would show authoritative caregiving.)
↪ Use positive discipline strategies such as communicating expectations, giving suggestions, encouraging child to take other’s perspective
↪ Labeling pro-social behaviour (i.e. cooperate, team, helpers)
↪ Discussing pro-social behaviour to promote children to focus on and think of specific behaviours that are helpful and valuable (i.e. sharing, cooperation)
↪ Practicing pro-social behaviour (i.e. play cooperative games)
↪ Recognizing and encourage pro-social behaviour through observations (be sincere and encourage children’s actions)
↪ Encouraging group behaviour will promote friendliness and decrease competitive behaviours
Benefits of encouraging prosocial behaviour in children include:
o increased competence
o mutual helping
o shared work
o pleasant, friendly, relaxing atmosphere
For tips on working with parents, see page 269 of your textbook.
In summary:
As a professional you can help children become compassionate, helpful, kind and cooperative. In order to do this you need be a positive model and remember the specific competencies and skills that make it possible for a child to act in a prosocial manner. The strategies we can put into place to help foster pro-social behaviours coincide with the developmentally appropriate practices we have discussed in earlier lectures. Use this information to assist in building relationships with the children in your programs and help them to develop the skills necessary for becoming emotionally intelligent people.
Text Readings:
Chapter 10
Please read Chapter11 for next week.
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
Introduction:
The phrase pro-social behaviour may be new for many of you, however; you may be familiar with some of the behaviours found in this area of social development. This lecture will help you to understand the building blocks of pro-social behaviour and the fact that children are born with the capacity for concern for others. While this is encouraging it is important to realize that this part of the child's personality does not develop automatically. Adults have to carefully nurture pro-social behaviour in children and this lecture will help us understand how this should happen.
This lecture and chapter in your textbook focuses on several practical strategies adults can use to help children become altruistic. These strategies are based on the information covered in the first chapter of the textbook. That chapter dealt with the general purposes of adult influence and this chapter uses that information for developing altruism. Parents and caregivers tend to express great concern regarding crisis-type problems such aggression. This alarm about aggression is justifiable but realizing that one of the best things that can be done to minimize or prevent aggression is to foster pro-social behaviour.
Learning objectives:
> Understand and explain how children develop concern for others.
> Understand and explain the terms directly related to the concept of pro-social behaviour and of altruism.
Body of the lecture:
Pro-social Behaviour – is behaviour that benefits another person or animal. (sharing, helping, cooperating)
Altruism is unselfish behaviour.
See pg. 253 – Figure 10.1 Pro-social Behaviour
All children are capable of sharing and helping, but a variety of factors influence their actual level of pro-social behaviour. Children will more readily exhibit prosocial behaviour if it has been modeled for them.
People will act in a pro-social manner for a variety of reasons:
· genuine concern
· empathy
· sense of responsibility to relieve the other’s distress
· need for social approval
· external pressure
· relieving one’s own feeling of sadness, anger, or guilt
· desire for social interaction
A child needs three competencies for pro-social development:
1. cognitive
2. emotional
3. specific skills
See pg. 257 Figure 10.2
Cognitive competencies include:
· seeing oneself as separate from others
· perspective taking skills
· seeing oneself as being able to make things happen
· possessing language skills
· possessing memory skills
Emotional competencies:
Children must have emotional capability in order to respond to the needs of other. They need to 'decode' (understand) the emotion. This skill develop in infancy and continue to develop throughout childhood. Another emotional competency children must have is empathy. Not all children will develop high levels of empathy.
Skill development:
Children need to know how to help others and this requires specific skills. Young children have a better chance of developing these skills if they experience a secure attachment with their primary caregivers and they have experienced pro-social behaviour.
See pg. 260 Figure 10.3 This figure shows how very young children illustrate prosocial behaviour.
How should we guide children’s prosocial behaviour?
- illustrate developmentally appropriate strategies
- model, be consistent and practice what you preachhelp children develop emotional scripts through interactions with others, reading and the media
- clearly state expectations for prosocial behaviour
- accept children's efforts to help and cooperate
Give children age appropriate responsibilities. (This would show authoritative caregiving.)
↪ Use positive discipline strategies such as communicating expectations, giving suggestions, encouraging child to take other’s perspective
↪ Labeling pro-social behaviour (i.e. cooperate, team, helpers)
↪ Discussing pro-social behaviour to promote children to focus on and think of specific behaviours that are helpful and valuable (i.e. sharing, cooperation)
↪ Practicing pro-social behaviour (i.e. play cooperative games)
↪ Recognizing and encourage pro-social behaviour through observations (be sincere and encourage children’s actions)
↪ Encouraging group behaviour will promote friendliness and decrease competitive behaviours
Benefits of encouraging prosocial behaviour in children include:
o increased competence
o mutual helping
o shared work
o pleasant, friendly, relaxing atmosphere
For tips on working with parents, see page 269 of your textbook.
In summary:
As a professional you can help children become compassionate, helpful, kind and cooperative. In order to do this you need be a positive model and remember the specific competencies and skills that make it possible for a child to act in a prosocial manner. The strategies we can put into place to help foster pro-social behaviours coincide with the developmentally appropriate practices we have discussed in earlier lectures. Use this information to assist in building relationships with the children in your programs and help them to develop the skills necessary for becoming emotionally intelligent people.
Text Readings:
Chapter 10
Please read Chapter11 for next week.
Learning activity:
Complete the chapter review.
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